Saturday, March 31, 2018

{iPhone Rewind} :: March

We had a "painting" day and it clearly exhibited the personalities of our children: Maddie just went for it. She's all about the chaos.

And Eli is a little more reserved...more of a minimalist :)

We had a picnic lunch with cousins at Grandma's apartment :)

She's not close {yet}, but she's going to be the one to climb out of her crib first.

Sweet texts with daddy during the day :)

This was right after they both had epic meltdowns...it's amazing to me the quick shifts in toddler moods :)

16 month check up...Eli LOVED Dr. Matthieu :)

Breakfast for twins

Cutie Pie :)

Handsome little dude

Maddie's hidden talent...stacking foam bath toys on her head :)

This cutie has some real teeth now!

Grandma came to visit, and so all was right in the world :)

With the nicer weather, we took some fun wagon rides!

Reading books with Daddy!

Eli is starting to organize and group his toys :)

Rockin' the bedheads :)

CUTIE

SILLY

Granny had an Easter egg hunt with all the grandkids. Maddie figured it out pretty quickly, Eli liked dumping the eggs out of the basket :)

Thoroughly enjoying his blackberries :)

This happens at least once a day...

Twin Tornadoes

We have a climber on our hands...


Friday, March 30, 2018

Anatomy Scan + Name Reveal!

Today we had our anatomy scan! We were so excited to check in on our sweet boy and see how he was growing. We made it an entire family affair, which made for a fun adventure. Given the fact that both my ultrasound and doctor appointment were running late, and my sweet kiddos were hungry and ready for a nap...they did really well. It was still a circus trying to wrangle them both {even with man-on-man defense!}, but we made it out without embarrassing ourselves too much :)

Baby boy was looking so great! He was pretty active, but thankfully they were able to get all of the measurements and photos they needed to track his progress. He is currently breach, but we still have plenty of time for him to get into the right position. He had his hands curled up next to his face most of the time, but thankfully we were able to see all his healthy organs!

They found a few small placental cysts, but my doctor didn't seem too concerned about them. She'll monitor them to make sure they don't cause any problems, but today they were all pretty small. It just means we will get to see our sweet boy on ultrasound again next month!


- Heart Rate is 161 bpm
- Weighs 9 oz.
- Measuring in the 69th percentile

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When we found out that we were pregnant {back in December}, we started talking about baby names. We actually went on a date and sat at Starbucks, talking about our favorites, figuring out which ones we liked, agreed on, etc. Boy names came really easy to both of us; girl names? Not so much.

While we were waiting for the results from the genetic testing, I told Mike that we should probably talk about girl names, just so we could have some options if we found out we were going to have a girl. He was so convinced that our baby was a boy, that he didn't feel like it was necessary. Good thing he was right :)

As you can see in the photo above, baby boy's name is Aiden Michael. Just like with Eli and Maddie, we chose the name because we liked it, and we both readily agreed on his name. But we also like some of the meaning behind the name! 

Aiden is an Irish name that means "little fire." The Irish name is a nod to his genetic family, and we're hoping that the meaning foreshadows passion and a fun personality...and doesn't come back to haunt us :)

Michael was chosen for a number of reasons. The first reason is actually as a namesake to a sweet friend and mentor {so not even just Mike!} Since Eli's middle name is for the namesake of a friend and mentor {Scott Winn}, we liked the idea of Aiden's middle name being for the namesake of another friend and mentor {Mike Judge}. And then of course, it's Mike's name, as well as my brother's name. Another fun part of it also being a family name is that the youngest boys on the McCullough side have a middle name after their father's first name. So Aiden's middle name is Michael {his dad's first name}. Mike's middle name is Thomas {his dad's first name}, etc. So Michael was just a good fit!

We're not quite halfway there yet, but we are so excited to meet you Aiden Michael!


High Five for Friday!

{one} So we have officially transitioned to 1 nap a day around here. I have felt that Eli and Maddie were getting close, but I assumed it would take longer to transition. I thought we would have to slowly merge their morning and afternoon naps, slowly moving that to later in the afternoon. But they literally just skipped their morning nap one day, and that was that. They are doing great with their new schedule! This introvert mama, on the other hand, is still adjusting. Not having that morning "break" has proved a little difficult, and can make for some really long days. Especially since they didn't extend their afternoon nap at all. But I know I will adjust soon, and I will appreciate having the mornings open to go do some fun things!

{two} I have really been enjoying the By Faith Podcast with Christine Hoover. It's no secret that I enjoy and appreciate Christine's writing, so it has been fun to listen to her discuss faith topics with varying guests. It has really been an encouragement to my heart.



{three} Just for fun...I filled out my own Disney/Pixar bracket. It has been floating around the social media-sphere, and I thought it would be fun to see how it came out. Of course, I am partial to the Disney movies from my childhood. I will say, I was disappointed in some of the movies listed over some of the classics, like Snow White and Cinderella, Bambi or Lady & the Tramp. And I honestly view The Lion King, Aladdin, and Beauty & the Beast on the same level of favorites...with Beauty & the Beast with a slight edge, purely for nostalgia. Belle is my favorite :)  



{four} This morning, Eli had a follow up appointment for his glasses. They wanted to make sure he was adjusting well to wearing his glasses, as well as be sure his prescription was right. We think he has adjusted pretty well, and we already see a difference in his eye crossing. Maddie still tries to take his glasses and wear them herself, but we have hope she'll eventually lose interest. The check up went  really well, and Eli is such a rockstar! He does so well with doctor appointments; he is super patient and obedient with whatever they have to do. And he is also super popular- everyone fawns all over him and tells him how cute he is. And he eats. it. up.   :)



{five} We plan to have a quiet Easter weekend. Mike will be helping with music at church, and my brother is planning to come over for lunch. With the busyness of the past few weeks, I am thankful for the opportunity to slow down a bit this weekend. I feel like I haven't done well in preparing my heart leading up to this Easter, but I am thankful for the ability to celebrate the resurrection and the gift of new life in Jesus. Hosanna!


Thursday, March 29, 2018

18 Weeks


How far along? 18 weeks
Days since transfer: 107 days
Total weight gain: +6.5
Maternity clothes? Still just stretchy clothes {that probably should be considered maternity}. My belly band is getting a little too small, so...there's that.
Sleep: I have been pretty tired this week...maybe it's the rainy weather? But overall I have been sleeping well. I am starting to wake up stiff and slightly uncomfortable, so I might be getting close to pulling out my trusty Snoogle :)
Best moment of the week: Feeling baby boy move a little more! It's still pretty faint, and I definitely have to be sitting still to feel his little kicks, but it's starting to get a little more recognizable and consistent. Also, getting a little more into the groove of our new 1 nap routine. I really wish that Eli and Maddie would take a super long nap in the afternoon, but I think those days are {sadly} behind me. 
Cravings: I have been craving Chick Fil A waffle fries...probably because I can't eat them, and I ate one when we had CFA recently {every now and then, I will allow myself the joy of eating just one. Just to have that sweet taste for a brief moment}. But now I just want waffle fries. EVERY DAY. ALL the time. Mike wonders what my pregnancy cravings/eating habits would look like if I didn't have my Crohn's dietary restrictions...and I am pretty sure I would gain way more than the recommended amount of weight. So it's probably a really good thing I have disease-specific restrictions :)
Symptoms: Nothing pregnancy-specific. Just starting to feel bigger...though I am amazed at how "light" my belly feels at this point. Turns out that one baby vs. two makes a HUGE difference! 
Looking forward to: Our anatomy scan tomorrow!! Can't wait to see our little one and see how he is growing!

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Size of baby? About the size of table-side guacamole, a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, or a tall decaf Frappuccino with whipped cream :)
Development: He has mastered the art of the yawn, and he is also hiccuping {which I haven't felt yet, but am secretly excited to feel soon}! His nerves are forming more complex connections, and his hearing is growing more acute {making him more conscious of noises coming from outside my body}. 
Heartbeat: Can't wait to hear that sweet sound tomorrow!
Movement: He's moving all over the place, and I am starting to feel him a little more!
Gender Predictions? It's a BOY! :)



Thursday, March 22, 2018

17 Weeks

Sorry for the weird, washed out photo...super sunny day, and I was in a hurry :)

How far along? 17 weeks
Days since transfer: 100 days
Total weight gain: +4.5
Maternity clothes? Does it count if the clothing is not maternity, but I wore it when I was pregnant with twins?? Haha! I have realized that I got better at collecting stretchy, comfortable clothing during my twin pregnancy and after Eli and Maddie were born...so I definitely have more give in my "regular" clothes :)  
Sleep: I have slept better this week...I am sure that is more due to my exhaustion at the end of the day since we dropped down to 1 nap a day in our house. This preggo twin mama is TIRED haha.
Best moment of the week: Dropping down to 1 nap with relative ease...maybe? Haha I am still 50/50 on this. I miss the break in the morning while Eli and Maddie nap, and it definitely takes up more energy to keep them occupied for such a long stretch of time. But I am excited about our schedule finally opening up a bit more to go do some fun things in the mornings!
Cravings: Nothing specific this week. Though I smelled some onion rings the other day, and my mouth almost starting watering because they smelled SO good. I don't even like onion rings! haha
Symptoms: So I don't feel big yet {at least my bump doesn't feel as heavy...since there's only 1 baby in there!}, but I think I look big. I can definitely tell my bump is sitting differently. With the twins, my bump was just out there and big all over. With this little guy, my bump just sticks straight out {and maybe just a little farther}. But it's a strange little bump, right smack in the middle of my abdomen, kind of like a tiny bowl or ball is hidden under my belly button :)  But as far as actual symptoms go, I have had some continued on/off spotting, but nothing that has me overly concerned. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty good!
Looking forward to: Fun time with the cousins this weekend, and finally getting into a good groove with our new 1 nap schedule! 

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Size of baby? About the size of a large order of fries or a toilet paper roll
Development: His ears are fully formed, and body fat is beginning to form. He is practicing his sucking and swallowing skills, and fingerprints are beginning to form as well.
Heartbeat: His heart is now regulated by his brain {so no more random beats}
Movement: Still not feeling anything consistent. I know it may still be a few weeks before I feel those beautiful kicks, but I am definitely ready to feel him now!
Gender Predictions? It's a BOY! :)



Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Searching for Spring

I have had the privilege of being on several of Christine Hoover's launch teams, and I was so excited to be chosen to be a part of launching her newest book Searching for Spring: How God Makes All Things Beautiful in Time. When she sent the blurb about the book she was working on, I knew it was one I would want to read, so I went ahead and pre-ordered it, even before she asked for volunteers for the launch team!


Christine has an incredible gift of graciously expressing deep truths. She writes from her soul and really seeks to encourage others through her writing. She uses a perfect blend of prose, personal stories, and Scripture to share the deep truths. I often picture her sitting down with me, over a cup of coffee, sharing her heart and all the Lord is teaching her. I know that is her desire in her writing, and it certainly comes through in her books.

I have to put a disclaimer on my review for this book. I honestly struggled with this book at first and had to start over. I had a preconceived idea in my head, so when the book wasn't fitting that idea, I just had a hard time following. She breaks the book down into the 4 seasons: summer, fall, winter, spring. So in my mind, I was thinking her analogies would follow those seasons. In some ways she does {particularly in the winter section, which is the majority of the book}. But when there were hardly any summer analogies, and she was talking about winter in the fall section and fall in the winter section...I admit I was frustrated and confused. And it almost ruined the book for me.

BUT...I decided to start over, throwing the seasons out the window. Instead, I just read her words as they came, instead of trying to see how they related to the seasons. And it was SO MUCH BETTER. So while I wish perhaps the sections were not labeled by the seasons {or perhaps the seasonal analogies flowed a little better}, I am so glad that I didn't give up. I know Christine is a tried and true author, so I knew not to let my struggles keep me from gleaning the wisdom she offers. 

So that being said...forget about the seasons altogether and just read the words as they come, and I promise you will not be disappointed. 

Christine opens her book, admitting that we are all looking for beauty in a broken world. As believers, we know that God makes all things beautiful in His time, but when we look around, we see brokenness, pain, and anything but beautiful things. It's hard to see how He is working in the mundane, the difficulties, and the pains of this life. So she takes the reader on a journey of finding the beauty in both familiar and unexpected places. 

She walks us through God's character, and how He is gently working to accomplish His will, even in the seemingly non-beautiful things. While some things will never be made right this side of heaven {what she refers to as "inconsolable things"}, we can still have confidence that God is not absent, but instead graciously crafting the beauty of His will and glory in our lives through redemption. And that sometimes the most beautiful things come from the "ugly" things.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"God is still creating beauty. In fact, he is creating now a beauty that didn't exist at the earth's birth but that only began after Adam and Eve's devastating decision. It is the beauty of redemption, and because God is still creating, he is at this very moment weaving this beauty in us."
 "In our own barrenness, in the unanswered prayer, we must know that God may be silent, but he is never still."
"Dear heart, Jesus didn't say he'd save you from affliction. Instead he asked you to go all-in on a promise of unexpected beauty sprouting up through that very affliction."
"We must stay in the minor key as long as he has us there, because the Holy Spirit's conviction and kindness drawing us to repentance is evidence of his love, and repentance turns the music to a major key once again."
"God can make something beautiful out of you, even the most hopeless, broken-down thing in your life." 
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You can get your copy at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Christianbook.com.

Thank you, Christine for choosing me {yet again} to be on your launch team. And thank you to Baker Publishing Group for providing me with an advanced copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review. 


Thursday, March 15, 2018

16 Weeks


How far along? 16 weeks
Days since transfer: 93 days
Total weight gain: +4.0
Maternity clothes? Not yet. But I feel like I could be close, especially for more comfort. And plus, it's finally getting warmer, so it's time for a bit of a wardrobe change anyway.
Sleep: Oh sleep. I have had quite a bit of insomnia this week. Which is just annoying. The plus side? I can feel little flutters in the wee hours of the night when I'm up :)
Best moment of the week: Seeing our sweet boy healthy and active on the ultrasound screen! {even if it was unplanned and in the ER} But really, to have confirmation that he was ok after a bleeding scare, was just about the best thing that could happen this week. It was so fun to see him do flips, do karate kicks, and then suck his thumb! Also, my mom has been in town for her spring break, so we have enjoyed LOTS of grandma time!
Cravings: Nothing really, this week. Although, guacamole sounds pretty good right now...
Symptoms: I had some off and on spotting and cramping that thankfully seem to have subsided for the most part. This week I actually felt pregnant. I feel like my belly officially popped out, and I am finding it harder and harder to find comfortable positions to be in. Now, if I could just get rid of the insomnia...
Looking forward to: Hopefully an uneventful weekend! Last weekend was a little too much "excitement" {with an ER visit}, so I am hoping for an actual quiet and relaxing weekend :)

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Size of baby? About the size of an avocado, an eclair, a Coke can, or a Blackberry phone
Development: Lots going on this week! Baby is weighing 3 to 4 ounces, and his backbone and tiny muscles are gaining strength. He is starting to make a few expressive frowns and squints, and his eyes are able to perceive light. His skin is still translucent, but he has eyebrows and eyelashes. He can also hear my voice!
Heartbeat: In the 150s when I saw the midwife on Tuesday!
Movement: Every time we check in on him {doppler or ultrasound}, he is constantly moving. The flutters I feel are still pretty inconsistent...I am ready for some of those baby kicks! :)
Gender Predictions? It's a BOY! :)



Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Doctor Follow Up

Today I had a follow up with my OB's office. I wasn't able to see my doctor, but they scheduled me with one of the midwives, and I really liked her. {Side Note: every time I meet with one of the midwives, I always appreciate my experience. I wish my body wasn't so weird and complicated, because I would totally do a birth with a midwife!}

Anyway, we got good news today, and I am so thankful! She confirmed that my ultrasound and labs from Friday looked really good. But in addition, she was able to confirm that I didn't show signs of a miscarriage {praise Jesus!} She couldn't tell me what caused the bleeding, and basically said that sometimes they just don't know. So they will monitor me and baby to make sure everything is progressing accordingly. I don't have any restrictions, and should feel more at ease.

And just as an extra confirmation, I got to hear our sweet boy's heartbeat...strong 150s! And of course, he was moving around like CRAZY  :)

I have had some more spotting this week, but it has been light, and nothing overly concerning. The cramps have also subsided, so that's a good thing. So for now, we just watch and wait. 

We are so thankful for a good report, and can't wait to see our sweet boy at our anatomy scan in a couple of weeks!


Friday, March 9, 2018

Another ER Visit

When I was 10.5 weeks with Eli and Maddie, I had a scary visit to the ER. Thankfully, everything turned out ok and my babies were just causing a little bit of trouble :)

Well, this little one is turning out to be just like his brother and sister. I woke up this morning with some bleeding and cramping, and I immediately started to panic. There really is no good way to describe the panic you feel when you start bleeding in pregnancy, especially when you have a history of loss. We just heard his heartbeat last week, and I have had zero complications with this pregnancy, so this came out of nowhere. 

I called my OB and she literally had just booked the last appointment of the day and they couldn't get me in until Monday {of course}. So they sent me to the ER. Which I am glad, because I probably would have gone on my own anyway. There's no way I would have been able to go the weekend without checking in on him in some way.

The ER staff at Baylor McKinney was really great, and I am thankful for the ability to access healthcare. They got me in for an ultrasound, and the sonographer was really great to let me see baby boy! They normally don't, and can't really tell patients anything {allowing the doctors to do that}, but she saw that he was looking good, so she let me see him. And boy was he active! He was all over the place haha. He would curl up into a ball and then kick his leg out {like a karate kick}, and then he'd do a few flips and suck his thumb :)  There are also no good ways to describe the relief you feel when you see your baby is doing really well!

They did a pelvic exam and ran blood work, and everything looked good. By definition, the ER doctor said he had to label me "threatened miscarriage." Which is TERRIFYING. I hate that. It's frustrating to not really have an answer or reason for the bleeding, but because baby boy was measuring right on track with a good heartbeat, and there were no signs of me progressing into labor, he really wasn't concerned. I will have to follow up with my OB on Monday, but I am just so thankful things look ok for now. 

There is a possibility it's another subchorionic hemorrhage {SCH}, as they saw a small one on my 8 week ultrasound.  It's what the issue was when I had to go to the ER with Eli and Maddie. And sometimes they don't know the reason. I did also have to get the Rhogam shot again {because of my blood type}. I would have had to have it later in the pregnancy, but they gave it to me early as a precaution.

Silly boy, already causing problems :)

So...not exactly how I planned to spend my Friday {I was in the ER 5 hours...which seriously pushed the limits of this hungry pregnant mama!}. Apparently my children like to give me panic attacks and keep me on my toes. So much for an uneventful pregnancy! But so, so thankful for God's protection. 


Thursday, March 8, 2018

15 Weeks



How far along?
 15 weeks
Days since transfer: 86 days
Total weight gain: +3.5
Maternity clothes? No, but I am kind of ok with it. Because the seasons will align really well, I'm going to be able to use a lot of what I did with the twins, so that's a huge win!
Sleep: I have been sleeping much better this week. Still battling some insomnia some nights, but if I am up in the wee hours one night, I am almost guaranteed to sleep solid the next night.
Best moment of the week: Figuring out some logistics for when baby boy joins us in August. I'm a planner...I like it when we have a plan! :)
Cravings: With Eli and Maddie, I faithfully ate the grilled chicken wrap with honey mustard, fruit, and a pickle {couldn't forget that!} at McAlister's every week. This time around, my go to seems to be the four cheese griller, still with fruit and a pickle :)
Symptoms: The only thing I have struggled with this week is headaches. I do my very best to not take acetaminophen, but sometimes, there is just no other relief. I'm hoping it's just the change of the weather and the daily 30 degree swings, and that once that evens out, the headaches will go away.
Looking forward to: The weekend! It has been a rough week with Eli and Maddie...and this tired mama is looking forward to the reinforcements over the weekend :)

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Size of baby? About the size of a cinnamon roll, a travel size deodorant, or a baseball
Development: His ears and eyes are positioned in the right spot now, and he is practicing his breathing, sucking, and swallowing.
Heartbeat: It was running in the 160s the last time we checked in on him.
Movement: I haven't felt the flutters as much this week, though if I am up in the middle of the night, I can sometimes feel them. I know he's growing, but I can't wait to feel him move a lot more!
Gender Predictions? It's a BOY! :)



Friday, March 2, 2018

Embryo Adoption :: Our Journey {2018 part 1}

Our Embryo Adoption journey continues into 2018 as we excitedly await the arrival of our 3rd little snowflake! :)


January 4, 2018: 6 Weeks 

January 11, 2018: 7 Weeks

January 16, 2018: First Ultrasound- Hello Baby {single.one}!

January 18, 2018: 8 Weeks

January 25, 2018: 9 Weeks

January 26, 2018: Blood draw to check hormone levels {hopefully I will get to start weaning off my meds soon!}

January 29, 2018: Started weaning off my meds...not quite as quickly as with the twins, but I'm ok with that. My Estrace dose will stay the same for another week, but I will reduce my progesterone dose. I'll go back on Friday for another blood draw to see how things are progressing. 

January 31, 2018: First OB Appointment! I actually didn't have an ultrasound today {boo}, but my OB offered to try to find the heartbeat with the fetal doppler. She said it usually doesn't pick up until 12 weeks, but that she thought it might be worth a try, if I was not going to panic if she couldn't find it. I went ahead and said yes, and I am so glad I did {and that she found it!}. Baby's heartbeat is still strong in the 160s! I also did the Panorama NIPT blood test today. 

February 1, 2018: 10 Weeks

February 2, 2018: Blood draw to check hormone levels again

February 5, 2018: Got to reduce both my Estrace and PIO. I'll go back on Friday again for another blood draw to see if we can reduce it all again. This feels like the longest weaning period EVER.

February 8, 2018: 11 Weeks

February 9, 2018: We got the results back from our genetic testing and all came back normal! We also found out baby's gender :)

February 15, 2018: 12 Weeks + LAST PIO SHOT {WAHOO!!} Seriously. This is cause for major rejoicing! No more fertility medications EVER. I am definitely thankful for them...but also really thankful to be done with them!

February 22, 2018: 13 Weeks


February 28, 2018: Today I had another OB appointment, and it was such a joy {and relief} to hear our sweet baby's heartbeat!  Our Public Announcement

**I only provided links above for my first 13 weeks of a baby bump, since we didn't make any public announcements until after that. The rest of my pregnancy weeks can be found here :) **


Embryo Adoption :: Our Journey {2017}

Even though we were holding Eli and Maddie in our arms, we still had 2 more embryos waiting for us. So our journey wasn't over! :)


February 2017: Mike and I started talking about when we might do another transfer. We knew Eli and Maddie were only 3 months old, but we had 2 more embryos waiting for us. And as much as we love having our twins, we were considering only transferring one embryo at a time, in an effort to avoid having another set of twins. With that being the case, we would want to do transfers sooner.



March 15, 2017: I went to see my OB to talk about some postpartum issues. {Gotta recover completely from the first delivery, before we can think about another!} I had blood work drawn and they found that my prolactin levels were elevated again.

March 20, 2017: What is a Rainbow Baby?

March 23, 2017: Repeat blood work fasting, but my prolactin levels are still elevated, so my OB sends me to get an MRI.

April 7, 2017: Went in for my MRI. Side Note: the tech reminded me of Gale Boetticher from Breaking Bad :)

April 19, 2017: Got my MRI results.

May 5, 2017: Had my first consult with the neurosurgeon. {includes an explanation of why this whole process is even part of our EA journey}

May 14, 2017: My first Mother's Day {To the Mama Hearts + Baby Dedication}

June 18, 2017: Mike's first Father's Day {To the Daddy Hearts + Father's Day}

June 20, 2017: Had my appointments with the endocrinologist to check hormone levels and with the neuro-ophthalmologist to check visual fields


July 31, 2017: Repeat MRI

August 18, 2017: That Time Jesus Healed My Tumor - we got the "all clear" from the neurosurgeon for an embryo transfer. He even gave me a prescription to give to my RE and said, "go forth and procreate" {he's a bit of an odd duck haha}

September 1, 2017: Consult with my RE to discuss another frozen embryo transfer {starting the journey to baby #3!}

September 15, 2017: Mock Transfer + Hysteroscopy- all clear for another FET!! :)

September 26, 2017: FET Consult

September 29, 2017: Colonoscopy {routine for Crohn's...I just happened to be due for one}...last hurdle before transfer and we're all set to move forward with a transfer cycle!!

September 30, 2017: Started taking Cabergoline again...to keep my prolactin levels low, so my body isn't confused when it's time for our transfer.

October 13, 2017: Officially started our transfer cycle...here we go again! :)


October 14, 2017: Started taking Estrace. I will take it in increasing amounts to thicken the lining of my uterus, getting it nice and ready for baby to snuggle in...I am also continuing to take my prenatal vitamin, vitamin D, and Cabergoline.


October 15, 2017: The Babies Lost Too Soon

October 27, 2017: Lining check sonogram; started PIO injections

November 2, 2017: Transfer Day!

November 13, 2017: Blood Pregnancy Test- negative :(  Connor

November 17, 2017: Started our {last} transfer cycle

November 25, 2017: Embryo Adoption Awareness Day

December 1, 2017: Lining check sonogram


December 6, 2017: Started PIO injections

December 12, 2017: {Our Last} Transfer Day!

December 18, 2017: My Last "Two Week Wait"

December 21, 2017: Home Pregnancy Test

December 22, 2017: Blood Pregnancy Test

December 26, 2017: Beta #2

December 28: 5 Weeks



Thursday, March 1, 2018

Embryo Adoption :: Snowflake Baby #3

We have shared much of our Embryo Adoption story here on this blog. If you have been around for awhile, then you know that it is something that is near and dear to our hearts. The fact that we are now preparing to welcome a 3rd snowflake baby into our family is such a gift from the Lord, "who is able to do more abundantly than all that we ask or think." {Ephesians 3:20}

When we first started this journey, we prepared to welcome, but then said goodbye, to 6 precious babies. It was a heartbreak that only compounded our grief from infertility, but the Lord was faithful to sustain us. We decided to try again and were matched with 4 more embryos. We transferred the first 2, and we got to hold Eli and Maddie in our arms for the first time in November 2016. 

That's the super quick recap of what we have shared so far, so I thought I would do a little Q&A for how snowflake baby #3 came to be! :)


How long was this embryo frozen?
This embryo was frozen at the same time as Eli and Maddie {March 2009}. This little one was frozen for over 8.5 years before it was thawed and transferred. Again, the length of time embryos are frozen is less of an indicator of success than the freezing technique and embryo grade that can sometimes indicate success. But even then, you never know...this sweet baby was born after being frozen for 24 years {long before modern freezing techniques}! 

Is this baby genetically related to Eli and Maddie?
Yes! This baby is a full genetic sibling to Eli and Maddie. So while Mike and I are not genetically linked to our babies, our babies are all genetically linked to each other :)

Didn't you have 2 embryos left?
Yes, we did. As much as we love having twins, we much preferred not to have a second set :)  So we wanted to transfer one embryo at a time, to lower our chances of twins. We actually transferred one embryo in November 2017, but unfortunately did not get pregnant. I wrote a post about our sweet Connor here. Thankfully, we were able to move right into another cycle to transfer our last remaining embryo {baby #3}.

Did you have to do anything with your agency before you transferred this embryo?
Not at all! We were/are still in contact with Nightlight because we provided quarterly updates for Eli and Maddie's 1st year, and will provide yearly updates going forward. Once we saw baby #3's heartbeat, we let them know about both of our transfers, because they track all of the adopted embryos. But since the embryos were legally ours at the time we signed contracts, there was nothing additional we needed to do with Nightlight before these last transfers. We will provide updates for baby #3, the same as we did/will for Eli and Maddie. And as always, our agency is our link to our genetic family.

What about the genetic family? Did you tell them, and how do they feel about baby #3?
At the time we let our agency know about our successful transfer, we also asked them to communicate our news to the genetic family. If you'll remember, we have a semi-open relationship with them, so all of our communication goes through our agency. To date, we have not received a response, but that's ok. We respect their decisions on when and how they choose to communicate, but we hope and pray that our news is a source of joy and peace for them.

How do you already know the baby is a boy?
Many people asked us if we knew the gender at the time of transfer. With embryos, there is the opportunity to know the gender if you do genetic testing on them. We did NOT do this {as it poses risks to the embryo}. But you CAN do a blood test after 9 weeks of pregnancy to do cursory genetic testing, and thus find out the gender. The test analyzes fetal DNA in the mother's blood, looking for traces of the Y chromosome. And if I have the option to know at 9 weeks vs. 18 weeks...you can bet I'm going to find out sooner :)

Why did you CHOOSE to have 3 under 2?
This is probably going to be a question for a lot of people. Probably the question running through strangers' minds as our three-ring circus heads out in public. Because the reality is that yes, we did CHOOSE to have our babies close together. This wasn't a surprise; by scheduling a transfer cycle, we literally planned out on the calendar when we would have this baby. And the even crazier part? I would have done the transfers sooner, if I hadn't experienced that whole crazy tumor incident!

There was a lot that went into our decision, so I'll try to be brief-ish:
  • Reason #1: We started late, and I'm not getting any younger. I know LOTS of women have babies after 35 with no problem. And my age is even less of a factor, since it doesn't matter how old my eggs are...because I didn't have to use mine! But I was able to actually plan and have my babies before 35, so I took that opportunity. 
  • Reason #2: My health is never a guarantee. I have an incurable autoimmune disease. By God's grace, I am in remission, but that could change at any time. And I cannot get pregnant while my disease is active; it's unsafe for both me and baby. Around this time is when many people see either a recurrence of their symptoms or a rejection of their treatment. Again, by God's grace, my disease is in remission. So while my health is in a good place, it's the best time to have another baby. I didn't want to wait too long and risk having complications that would delay a possible pregnancy by possible years.
  • Reason #3: Our babies were frozen, waiting for us. This was actually the main driving factor behind our decision. We knew we only wanted to transfer 1 embryo at a time. If we had been successful with the transfer in November, then we would still have 1 embryo remaining that would be frozen close to 10 years before we were able to go back for it. Embryos don't necessarily have a shelf life, but we just didn't want to keep our embryos waiting for long. So much can happen, and I always worried that something would happen and we wouldn't be able to go back for our remaining embryo{s}. The Lord would be sovereign over their lives and would have provided answers in those circumstances, for sure. But as much as they were our responsibility, we wanted to give them the best chance at life, so we were more than comfortable with going back for earlier transfers. It's hard to explain, but when your babies are waiting for you...you try to get to them just as soon as you can. Not everyone feels this way, and that's ok. But it's how we felt, so it's partly why we are having 3 under 2 :)
  • Reason #4: There is a comfort and peace in closing this part of our journey. We prayed for so long to get our family. We walked a long and heartbreaking road to get here. And even as we have experienced the joy of pregnancy and having our babies, it has not been easy. We are thankful for Embryo Adoption, but we are ready to close the fertility side of things. All of the doctor appointments, hormones, injections, procedures, waiting, anxiety, fears, losses, etc...it's exhausting- physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually. So to know now that we can close that chapter of our lives, brings an incredible amount of relief and freedom. Would we have happily walked through a few more years of it all to have all 4 of our babies in our arms? Absolutely. But we are at peace with the Lord's timing and plans, and we are thankful for the graces of bringing this part of our journey to a close.
  • Reason #5: Why not? We are not naive; we know it will be hard. There are hard days with twins when I ask myself, "what on earth have I done? I'm losing my mind with 2, what am I going to do with 3??" But we have walked through a lot of hard, and the Lord has always been faithful. We have walked the craziness of newborn twins, and so we are actually looking forward to "just one." We are excited about our kiddos being so close in age, and we are praying they have just the sweetest of sibling relationships because of it. Most people I have talked with who have had their babies close together have said that it was really hard for about 5 years...but then it got better and they would hands down do it all over again. So here we go!

Is this the end of your Embryo Adoption journey?
In the most literal sense, yes. Since infertility is what led us to pursue Embryo Adoption in the first place, this will be our last pregnancy {cue all the tears and emotions}. We have transferred all of the embryos in our custody, and we do not plan to pursue any additional embryos with another donor family. Our only relationship with Nightlight moving forward will be to provide our contractual updates and to communicate with our genetic family. 

But in a broader sense, no. I say that because we are now going to be raising 3 snowflake babies. So I would say that now our Embryo Adoption journey shifts. Before, we were focused on growing our family. Now, we will be focused on raising our family. As we begin to share their Embryo Adoption story with them, there will inevitably be questions. Our "where do babies come from?" conversation will include additional details on their unique origins. There are aspects of their story that may be difficult to understand or come to terms with, so we will be navigating Embryo Adoption in a new way. But we pray that ultimately, the Lord uses their story to draw them each to Him, that their unique adoption story will help them better understand the spiritual adoption that is available to them through Christ. 

Embryo Adoption has been such a blessing to our lives, so if I can somehow provide information, insight, or encouragement to someone seeking fertility options, I would love to be able to do that! It is not for everyone, but it is an amazing option that I want more people to be aware of. So I believe that part of our continued journey through Embryo Adoption will be advocacy. 

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I have been blogging along the way {behind the scenes}, so if anyone is interested, I will be including our timeline for 2017 and 2018-to-date tomorrow. It's a helpful record for me, and we love sharing our story!