Christmas with Babies

Since Eli and Maddie are less than 8 weeks old, we decided that we would have a quiet Christmas at home. Our day was filled with the usual: feeding, changing, naps. But we still found time to enjoy the day celebrating our first Christmas as a family of four :)

Babies gave us the Christmas gift of a good night. We had a couple of longer stretches between feeds, so that was awesome. It's amazing the difference it makes to have 2-3 hour stretches of sleep compared to 1-2!

We enjoyed cinnamon rolls and coffee, along with sweet baby snuggles and smiles. Not a bad way to spend Christmas morning :)

Merry Christmas!

Long prayed-for snuggles...

Nap time with Daddy

We wanted to get the stereotypical baby-in-the-stocking photos, but when we went to put them in their stockings, we realized they had already grown too big! So we opted for the baby-under-the-tree-in-a-diaper photo instead. My photography skills leave much to be desired, but wrangling 2 newborns and a camera is harder than you think ha!

Mesmerized by the lights

Uncle Michael came over for lunch and to hang out for the afternoon. We were all excited to see him, even Sasha :)

I love my Christmas present from Mike: a twin mama t-shirt! Oh how I miss my sleep, though...

Mike also made a sweet video for us. He followed me around with a GoPro during the last few weeks of my pregnancy and then when Eli and Maddie arrived. This video, y'all...ALL the feels. All. The. Feels.

Eli + Maddie - Brand New from Michael McCullough on Vimeo.

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Last year, I was just so weary and heartbroken, and I just wanted to skip Christmas altogether. But the Lord was gracious to answer our prayers for a family, and we have 2 babies for Christmas this year! There really are no words to adequately describe our gratitude and just how joy-filled our hearts are.

As we celebrated the birth of our Savior, the term Emmanuel {God with us} took on a deeper meaning. The God of the universe became flesh to walk among us, to walk as one of us. And while there are so many huge spiritual implications for that, it also means that on a basic human level, the God of the universe desires to be an intimate part of our lives. As we walked the hard road of infertility, God was with us. As we grieved the loss of our first 6 babies, God was with us. As we rejoiced over the news and then arrival of Eli and Maddie, God was with us. As we wake up in the middle of the night to wrangle 2 hungry babies, God is with us. And as we walk into whatever the Lord has for us next, He will be with us.

What a precious gift our babies are. But even more, what a precious gift Emmanuel is. God with us.

It is Well

I have always loved the hymn It is Well With My Soul written by Horatio Spafford. It was composed after a series of difficulties in his life. He faced incredible financial loss and instability. Shortly after, he sent his family ahead of him in a move, and all four of his daughters died after a ship wreck. He penned this hymn as he passed the place where the ship sank. He and his wife went on to have more children, but they still lost their 4 year old to Scarlet fever. So much tragedy and loss in one family's life.

I have always stood in awe of this story because of the power in the words that were penned. I'm sure it could not have been easy to write the words. Can you imagine the heartache and struggle? And yet, He trusted in a God that was bigger than His circumstances. He was able to say "it is well" because of Jesus. Because of the unending grace that pours out on the life of the believer. 

Bethel Music came out with an updated version a few years ago. Both sets of lyrics have special meaning for me. While it may not have been at the same tragic level as Spafford, we have still experienced heartbreaking loss. We said goodbye to our church and dreams of ministry. Mike lost his job. We were diagnosed with infertility. And it all happened within a matter of months. We waited 3 years to see a positive pregnancy test and then miscarried. So much loss in our short married life...

There have been many dark days when I didn't know if I could say "it is well." And I, of little faith, find myself bracing for more heartbreak and tragedy. After all, it's all we have known for an extended period of time. My weary heart surrenders to the idea that it's all we can know.

And yet the Lord has regarded my helpless estate, and through it all, I can {in faith} say "it is well."

It is Well by Bethel Music

Grander earth has quaked before

Moved by the sound of His voice

Seas that are shaken and stirred

Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Chorus:

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

Through it all, through it all

It is well

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

It is well with me

Far be it from me to not believe

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me

Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Chorus

So let go my soul and trust in Him

The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

{30 Before 30} :: Go {Indoor} Skydiving

I have always wanted to go skydiving. Something about jumping out of a plane sounded absolutely fantastic to me.

And then I turned 29, felt less adventurous, and got a little more sense in my brain. {Plus I heard a horrific story about a girl whose parachute didn't open...but she survived}. So my excitement turned into hesitation. Around the same time, iFLY opened in Frisco, and I knew I had my solution. All the thrill and fun of skydiving with a fraction of the risk. Sign me up!

My sweet husband bought my flight for my birthday, and I think it was fitting to go {indoor} skydiving on my 30th birthday! :)

And because videos are super fun...for your viewing pleasure:

LOVE my sweet cheering gallery!! It was so much fun and was a great birthday present from my love! :)

High Five for Friday!

{one} Things at work have been BUSY. With the transitions and changes, I am now assisting 4 executives, so there is no lack of things to do! Most days it's fairly manageable {they are being kind to me, I am sure}. But there is that 6-8 day span of time surrounding the monthly board meeting that everything in the office is just nuts. As crazy as it gets and as tired as I am sometimes, I really am thankful for my job and truly enjoy it.

{two} Oh my goodness...THIS has arrived in Dallas. My most favorite cupcakes now come in ICE CREAM FORM??? I must. Go. Here. Soon.   :)

{three} One of my favorite bloggers shared this post from Susan Black: In Her Shoes- Those Who are Hurting. I really needed to hear her words this week {apparently the Lord was trying to speak to me via the blogosphere haha}.

"...our prayers are often no more than a personal wish list for God, and that what we’re actually praying is this: “Please God, take away my trials so that I don’t have to need You or grow up...the sufferings of Jesus show us that pain comes to us not as punishment, but rather as a testing ground for faith that transcends pain. In truth, pain redeemed impresses me more than pain removed."

Guilty. I consistently ask the Lord to take away trials, not stopping to realize that they are the very tools He is using to teach me His lessons of grace. Can anyone say conviction?

{four} My sweet husband sent this link to me on Facebook. I'm sure you have seen it, as it has been circulating the interwebs. He sent it to me with this message: "My thoughts on you - exactly (minus one "colorful" word in there - warning). I'm just glad you weren't in the room when he woke up or he would have been disappointed you weren't his." Aww...love him! Enjoy the video, because it's pretty awesome and really sweet.

{five} Tomorrow I will be attending an event for Acts 29 wives in the DFW area. I am VERY much looking forward to this event, as I have wanted to connect with other church planting wives. Confession: it's still a little strange to me that I am a pastor's wife :) I will also get to have dinner with the sweet girls from my old Bible study at Woodcreek. I missed the last "reunion" because I ended up sick, so I am really looking forward to catching up with everyone.

Our Heart, Our City

With the start of the church plant residency, we have also started our season of support raising. It's a curious thing, support raising is...I have a new fresh perspective on and appreciation for what some of our missionary friends have faced. And I know this is just another leap of faith and another way to trust the Lord's provision in our lives. We would certainly appreciate your prayers over this process!

Some exciting things in the process...we have officially launched our new ministry website, so if you are interested in keeping up with what God is doing in McKinney, be sure to take a peak at hischurchplant.com. You can sign up for email updates to hear about how things are going with the church plant, and you can also find ways to partner with us.

Mike's oh-so-talented brother was generous in helping us put together a promo video to share with our supporters. In it, Mike shares about our heart for the city of McKinney and why we feel called to plant a church here. It might help a little to catch a glimpse as to why we have embarked on this crazy adventure :)

Our Heart // Our City from Michael McCullough on Vimeo.

I joke about it being a crazy adventure, and in a lot of ways it is. But we believe so much in what the Lord has called us to do in this city. In His city. We are burdened for the 90%, and we are humbled by the fact that the Lord would want to use us here. I have shared here before about feeling both excited and terrified. And while there are certainly giant steps of faith ahead for me {and it may not always be easy}, I am more convinced than I was a year ago of why the Lord has us here. I can't wait to see what God does!

His Great Name

The Lord has had this song on my mind and heart this week. It seems so fitting, considering the overabundance of blessings Mike and I have felt recently. 


But as the words have rolled around in and out of my brain throughout the week, I have been reminded of the truths expressed in the song. Right now, the words are easy to sing because I feel blessed and things are good. But my prayer this week has been that I can sing these words just as easily and with as much conviction when I feel tired, discouraged, alone.


Because the fact of the matter is that only one name- the name of Jesus- evokes such incredible peace, love, grace, healing, strength, POWER. And this fact is true regardless of where we are and what's going on. And it's an incredible thing that we can know the One with such power. And that the One with such power wants to know us.


I encourage you to read through the words and let them sink in. Let the Lord remind you of His goodness and His power. His name is GREAT.




Lost are saved find their way, at the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place, at the sound of Your great name
The enemy he has to leave, at the sound of Your great name

Chorus:
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us
Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up
That all the world will praise Your great name

All the weak find their strength, at the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace, at the sound of Your great name
The fatherless they find their rest, at the sound of Your great name
Sick are healed and the dead are raised, at the sound of Your great name

Chorus:
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us
Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up
That all the world will praise Your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, Almighty
My Savior, Defender, You are My King

Chorus:
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us 
Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up
That all the world will praise Your great name

In Chains: A Documentary Project

Since my trip to Nicaragua, the Lord has been doing some amazing things! He has kept Nica on my heart, and I have been so blessed to see so much accomplished through the ministries and people I had the opportunity to serve with (and continue to partner with). From the continued work of the Refuge Project, to my friend Clint using his gift of photography to create awareness, and to my friend Laura moving down to Managua to serve at House of Hope...it's so exciting to see the Lord move!

The newest exciting project is close to home because it's within my new family. My brother-in-law Bryan is a media producer and is the founder of 617 Production Group, which provides media solutions for businesses and non-profits. Bryan has a passion to use his media talents to serve the Lord and create awareness. In hearing the stories of the sex trafficking epidemic in Nicaragua and the ministry of House of Hope, he has decided to pursue producing a documentary that will depict the reality of the women and children caught up in the industry. The hope is to inspire and empower others to do what ministries like House of Hope and The Refuge Project are already doing: rescuing women and children from a life of prostitution and helping solve the sex trafficking issue in Nicaragua.

Please be in prayer for this project. They only have a few short weeks to raise the money they need in order to pursue this project. To learn more about the In Chains project, you can check out their fundraising website.

The story that Bryan wants to document is a tragic one; but it is one, I believe, that is near to the heart and compassion of God. I am excited about how the Lord is working in Nicaragua. I am humbled by the fact that He allowed me to be a part of, if even for a brief moment, the precious lives that He loves and knows by name in Managua. I am thankful for those who have heard the stories, witnessed the need, and resolved to put their faith in action. I look forward to seeing how this documentary sheds light on an ugly reality, but inspires others to action and is used to bring hope and healing to those who need it.

Give Me Jesus

Woke up this morning singing this song...

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone, 
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world, 
You can have all this world, 
Just give me Jesus. 

Friday Fun :)

My mom sent this video to me, and I thought it was so cute! For most of my life, my mom has taught little pre-schoolers, and I have always been amazed at what truths little ones can walk away with. This video is just a sweet offering to the Lord and a peek into the imagination of a child...enjoy!


The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

"And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." ~Matthew 18:2-5

Roof for the Refuge

A few weeks ago, I asked for prayers for Nica. One of the prayers I mentioned was for the Refuge Project, a ministry run by One by One. This project is meant to rescue children from abuse and sex trafficking. This harsh reality was something that really impacted me while I was in Managua. It's one of those things that you hear about in passing (maybe), but something that not many people talk about. If something that terrible really happens, it happens someplace else. Out of sight, out of mind. It's a difficult thing to think about, and it's not an everyday reality for those of us in our comfortable little suburbs. But when you meet the precious little ones that have been forced into the trade...hold their hands, hear their stories...your life is never the same.

"The problem of child prostitution is a global problem with an estimated 1.2 million children trafficked each year. That equates to 2.3 children being trafficked every second. Child prostitutes service between 2 and 25 clients per day equaling 830 to 9,150 clients per year. Nicaragua is affected heavily by this global sex-trade. 60% of the human trafficking victims from the Western Hemisphere are exported from Nicaragua. In Managua alone there are at least 11 brothels that offer the services of children. These brothels keep the children locked away during the day so they are unable to escape. Unfortunately, the brothels aren’t the only ones offering sexual services of children in Nicaragua." (from the Refuge Project website)

My heart broke when I was faced with this reality on my trip to Nicaragua. But I was so blessed by the people I met while I was there, and I praise God for faithful servants who are in the trenches every day fighting on behalf of these children. You and I may not have the opportunity to physically rescue these little ones on a day to day basis, but there is something we can do to help. We can definitely be in prayer for these ministries and the children they seek to rescue. But we can also support these ministries financially. One by One has the opportunity to purchase a house that is adjacent to their offices, which they plan to use to house the children they rescue. They are currently raising money to purchase that house, but they still need to raise $20,000 by the end of January in order to make that possible.

Roof For The Refuge from One by One on Vimeo.

Would you consider supporting this ministry and helping them raise the money they need to buy the house?

You can give directly to the Refuge Project, or if you are still looking for some Christmas gifts, you can purchase some really cute jewelry from one of the One by One staff members who makes the jewelry as a way to support herself and her family. She has decided to give 10% of the profit from each item to benefit the Refuge Project, and for one of the kinds of earrings she sells (pictured above), she gives 100% of the profit to Refuge. You can see the rest of her gallery here on Facebook. If you find anything you like, let me know by Saturday, December 11th so that our missionaries can bring them back on their trip home to the States. Prices and reference numbers are listed below each picture on the site.

Hallelujah!

This is one of my all-time favorite songs; it's one that gives me chills every time I hear/sing it. I love how it was sung spontaneously by a flash mob in the middle of a shopping mall food court :) Enjoy!

In the Words of Satan

My friend Lindsey shared this song with me tonight and I thought the words were so powerful. Scary, convicting, and powerful. It's really heavy on the heart, but there is so much truth in the lyrics- definitely a song that makes you think. We have a real enemy who "prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

Just a warning that some of the images are intense and graphic. The lyrics are below if you just want to listen to the song instead of watching the video.



In the Words of Satan (by The Arrows)
I've been here since the beginning
Know exactly how you work
I know all of your cravings
Know what makes you go berserk
Been lying from the start just to make you play a part
In my infinite rebellion against the Father God

Hate everything He is
And I make you hate Him too
Make you hate Him with your actions it's so easy for me to do
'Cause you like it...Sin feels good for the ego...
You love it...Oh, come on baby let your hair go

And all the time, I'm winding you up
Like my perfect little puppet
You're my favorite robot, welcome to the show
But I'm watching you and all of hell is with me too
Helping me make my lies look true

Oh and there is a lie that works for everyone, everyone
A lie that opens your hearts so I can get me some
More of your free will
I'm winding you, winding you
Give me the control that's why I'm telling you
Selling you- Anything- Everything
Appealing to your human way of being
And I use it all against you to just keep your eyes
From seeing past the life you're living
Past the moment you're in, past the pleasure of your sin

Or the cigarette you're smoking
Choking on your lust
I'll make you drunk with pride
So deeply spun into my system that you won't see the light
Never mind that I'm drowning you
I keep deceiving you...
'Cuz I don't tell you bout the God in heaven
Who loves you, who yearns for you
I don't tell you bout the freedom of forgiveness and truth
Why would I tell you? Why would I tell you the truth?

Or I'll say that millions of years ago an accident exploded
And you're the result of this cosmic unknown
With no real purpose, created for no real intent
The reason for your living is just coincidence
So all the remains is what you can gain
Whatever meaning you attach to your days you decide
Mmm, but I help you recognize important things in life
Introducing money, it's the root of all, evil they say so
I attach your self worth to the salary you're paid,
Be a slave to your property
Your jewelry, your cars and things
Advertise that lie up on the TV so you'll want that bling
Selling bit by bit the little pieces of your soul
Climbing up the ladder of economic control
Oh, the greed of man makes it so easy to pervert the Father's plan

Or I'll tell you...
There is a heaven but there's many ways to get in
Keep you so confused that you stay bound to your sin
Tell you there are many ways to the same God
Keep you distracted with your methods so your heart stays hard,
I'll make you think you've got spirituality,
But it's really just emotional alchemy
Oh, the vanity of self-idoltary I never let you see that it breeds
Hedonism! Whoo!
And it's the anthem of this generation
Come on, drink it, snort it, smoke it, swallow it
Chew on my illusion of freedom til you vomit it

And still I don't tell you
Bout the God in heaven
Who loves you
Who yearns for you
No I don't tell you
Bout the freedom of forgiveness and truth
Why would I tell you?
Why would I tell you the truth?

Just a Teaser...

Ok- so I am working on scripting a blog post for the trip...but for now, check out this awesome teaser video that our leader Jon Lilley created!



Enjoy! More to come on Nicaragua 2010...

It is a GOOD friday :)

I praise God for my precious Lord and Savior! I praise God for my King, my Rock, my Salvation, my friend...Good Friday has always been a special part of Christian history and celebration. And it has always held a special place in my heart, not only because I am a Christ-follower, but because it was Good Friday when the Lord began tugging at my young heart, drawing me closer into a relationship with Him. To this day, it amazes me how much the Holy Spirit was working in my young heart and mind to reveal truth to me.

One of the traditions in my family growing up was to go to Good Friday service with my grandmother. They had a passion play that we would go to every year, so I knew the story of the cross. I knew that this man Jesus was sentenced to death on a cross. The acting was powerful, the music made the whole thing dramatic...and after we would clap for the actors and sing a song. But I remember one particular passion play. It was the same one they played the year before and the year after. But that was the year that God was speaking to my 8 year old heart. That year I truly listened to what was going on and began to understand that this wasn't just a play, this was real. Jesus really came to die on the cross. I remember feeling so overwhelmed because I couldn't understand why the people hated Him so much, why they wanted Him dead, why they beat, bruised, humiliated, tortured, murdered Him. All I could do was sit and cry for what was happening to Jesus. I remember that my dad had to take me outside after the play to calm me down because I was so overwhelmed with sadness. I kept saying over and over, "but he didn't do anything wrong!!!"

From that point on, God began drawing me to His heart, helping me to understand that the sinless Savior, the loving man who "did nothing wrong" came to endure all of those horrible things for me. I will never forget that Good Friday, and I hope that I never lose sight of the sacrifice that was made on my behalf. I can't even put into words what that actually means for my life. The "good" part of Good Friday is that (as a friend put it) it was the great exchange: the sin of man for the life of Jesus. My sin is why He endured the beating, the bruises, the humiliation, the torture, the death. Even writing about it now, my heart is overwhelmed by the love of my Savior. But the story didn't end there, and as believers we can rejoice in a risen Savior! We can rejoice in the fact that Christ died for us, then rose again on the third day as He conquered death and made a way for me to have life.

This is one of my favorite videos and pretty much sums up all that I can say about my King...do YOU know Him??



And I thought this was just beautiful. I will never be the same since I gave my life to Christ...

Discover the Meaning of Easter

I hope you have a wonderful and blessed Easter weekend!

A Smile for Your Day :)

I hope this brings a smile to your day like it did to mine...

Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,

waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!

Refrain:

Up from the grave he arose;

with a mighty triumph o'er his foes;

he arose a victor from the dark domain,

and he lives forever, with his saints to reign.

He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose!

Vainly they watch his bed, Jesus my Savior,

vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord! (Refrain)

Death cannot keep its prey, Jesus my Savior;

he tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord! (Refrain)

Rethinking Christmas

Last Christmas, our 20s group participated with our church staff in the One Gift Campaign through Advent Conspiracy. And this year we are opening it up to challenge the entire congregation. I loved this campaign last year, and I have committed to it again this year.

Christmas has become something it was never intended to be...stress, shopping lists, traffic jams, unnecessary consumerism. All the marketing, the spending, the debt that people accumulate...why do we do it to ourselves? And why do we as Christians get caught in it? I can't help but be a little sick over what we have done to the celebration of Christ's birth. The fact that we as Americans spend $450 Billion every year on Christmas and it is estimated to take only $10 Billion to solve the world's fresh drinking water crisis...it's enough to make me stop and rethink my Christmas.

I love giving and receiving gifts as much if not more than the next person. Buying Christmas presents for the ones you love is a good thing. The whole concept of giving is biblical, and I believe God is glorified when we give to others. But do we really need half the things we buy? Do we really need an extra material thing? I have been very convicted lately on just exactly how I spend my time and my money. God has given me such an overabundance...am I really using His resources in the best way? Because everything I have is His...and I am pretty sure He didn't give me what He has so that I could spend it on things that will perish. I really feel like our American mentality has messed with our priorities and how God truly intends for us to serve Him.

What if we did spend less and give more? What if we spent less money on a material gift and more time with friends, family, loved ones? What if we decided to spend our money on something that actually mattered?

So this year, I have decided that I don't want anything for Christmas. I am so broken by what God has placed on my heart, that none of the material things matter. I can certainly do without gifts this Christmas. Anything I receive, I plan to return and give the money to the One Gift Campaign so that a family across the globe can have clean drinking water. I don't post this commitment out of pride or self-praise...I post it as a confession that my priorities are out of wack and something has to change. Instead I post it as a concrete commitment for which I desire accountability. Because I really want new boots for Christmas. And it would be so tempting to ask for them anyway. Because when push comes to shove, it's going to be hard to return something I open that I really like. But I am choosing to honor God by fulfilling this commitment to Him. I want you to ask me about it.