Thursday, November 30, 2017

{iPhone Rewind} :: November

Before and after...proof that I do sometimes have a clean house. And it lasts about 2 minutes :)

We had so much fun with Grandma and Grandpa in town!

Our calm, peaceful child at his 1 year check up

And our more spirited and opinionated child at her 1st year check up {notice her legs are stretched straight out because she does NOT want to be examined by the doctor}

Play time with Grandma, Grandpa, and the duck

Grandpa was left in charge for a little bit :)

Trying my hand at candied snowflakes...at least they tasted good :)

Eli and Maddie have loved playing with all their fun new toys they got for their birthday!

It seems that Maddie loves guitar players :)

It's Monday...so the lawn crew is here, and these 2 have a front row seat :)

Eli and Daddy...love my boys!

This little one likes to climb up on the window sill...when I told him to get down, he decided to growl instead.

Cute little baby butt :)

Love this cutie patootie :)

We run errands in our pajamas...that's how we roll :)  {also...stores that don't have shopping cart stalls in the parking lot are SUPER inconvenient for twin mamas}

Watching the lawn crew across the street!

Outfits are ready for our little turkeys!

Just a little family photo in the hallway :)

Dannie and Grace came to visit; it was so good to see these sweet friends!

Family selfie in the church parking lot #becausetwins #matching

Yeah. I'm liking the bows :)

Just chillin' with daddy :)

Love these two. They had been "talking" to each other for about a half hour. Love getting to watch their budding relationship.


Saturday, November 25, 2017

Embryo Adoption Awareness Day

November is National Adoption Month, so of course I am going to talk about Embryo Adoption! It's near and dear to our hearts, and the way the Lord chose to bring us our Eli and Maddie.


I shared several facts last year, and obviously I share a lot of our story here on this blog. We are huge fans of this amazing option to build a family, and we are forever grateful to our precious donors, for the decision they made to donate their embryos. So today, on Embryo Donation/Adoption Awareness Day, I wanted to specifically highlight the donors that make this option available. 


Our Donors
We have a semi-open relationship with our donors. For us, that means that all communication with our donors goes through our agency. These terms were agreed upon at the time we signed our contract. They are open to more direct contact in the future, but for now, they were most comfortable with our current arrangement. 

Our communication has been limited up to this point, mostly just letting them know about our transfer, our positive pregnancy test, and when Eli and Maddie were born. We haven't really had any need yet for any more contact, as all of the children {Eli and Maddie have 2 genetic siblings} are still very young. As they grow up, and as we share their story with them, we anticipate there might be questions, and so we are thankful we have the opportunity to have contact with the genetic family.

Our donors told us that donating their remaining embryos was the easiest decision they made in the entire fertility treatment process. I absolutely love their hearts to want to help another couple who had walked through the heartaches of infertility. They were so excited for us when we found out we were pregnant with twins, and they even sent a sweet gift basket when Eli and Maddie were born!

But donating embryos is not that easy for everyone; many of the donors that I have spoken to have expressed the struggle over the decision to donate. Donors walk through so much to get their embryos, so to part with them is a difficult decision.


How to Donate
There are a number of ways that a couple can donate their embryos. We were matched with our donors through an agency. Our donors worked with our agency to find the match with which they felt most comfortable, and the agency facilitated the process, along with all legal aspects of the donation. Once contracts were signed, the agency helped us arrange the shipment of the embryos to our clinic. All aspects of the donation were facilitated by the agency.

Many clinics facilitate embryo donation {though not all}. A lot of times, these donations are anonymous, but not always. Some clinics allow outside donations, which means that they accept embryos from another clinic {like ours did}, but some clinics only allow donations within their clinics {so among their own patients}. Some clinics provide the legal aspects of the donation, some require you to find your own lawyers. 

Others choose to find recipients through private donation. There are embryo donation websites that host profiles, but families essentially match on their own. Families walk through the donation process by finding their own match, their own lawyers, their own shipping partner {if necessary}. While there is a lot of personal legwork, it can be an inexpensive option for the recipient.

There should not be any fees involved for the donors. All fees are usually paid by the recipients. Donors have already spent the money for the IVF process, and many have paid storage fees for their remaining embryos, which in some instances can be reimbursed by the recipient family, depending on the agreed upon arrangements. However, donors CANNOT receive payment for the embryos; it is illegal to sell embryos. All fees and costs associated with embryos are related to legal contracts, FDA testing, shipping, etc. 


The Decision to Donate
Many couples who walk through IVF are not even aware that donating their embryos is an option. If they do have remaining embryos after their family is complete, many keep them frozen indefinitely, unsure what to do with them. The other options are to destroy them or donate them to science. 

After so much struggle, heartache, expense to create the embryos, I would imagine that, for some couples, the decision to donate can be a difficult one. There are the concerns and "weirdness" of having your genetic children out there somewhere. What kind of relationship {if any} should we have with the recipient family? What will resultant children think? What will my own children think?

Some donors choose to donate anonymously. They provide a gift to another family, but desire not to have any contact or relationship with them. In this scenario, they can know if any babies were born from the donation, but they don't usually know anything else beyond that. Other donors choose to have a semi-open relationship. This is the scenario that we have with Eli and Maddie's genetic family. Contact is limited, and usually facilitated by another third party {agency or clinic}. Basic information is shared, but personal contact information is not. And still other donors choose a completely open relationship, where all information is shared, and families know each other's children. I have seen beautiful relationships in all of these scenarios.

While I cannot personally relate with the decision to donate {as I am a recipient}, I can say that I think it's a brave and generous decision. To allow your embryos to have a chance at life with another family who understands the heartaches of infertility is an incredibly selfless decision. There are definitely big questions to answer on what relationships could/will look like. But whether a donor chooses anonymous, semi-open, or fully open donation, they provide a beautiful gift to a waiting family. Without donors, there would be no embryo adoption, and we would not have Eli and Maddie. It's a gift for which my family will forever be grateful. 


Thursday, November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving!

It was fun to celebrate Thanksgiving this year with our little ones! This is actually their second Thanksgiving, but last year they were only a few weeks old, and we were walking around in a fog...so we don't really remember a whole lot :)  

This year, we skyped with my parents in the morning, then went over to Mike's parents' house for lunch with his family. They didn't seem super interested in the Thanksgiving meal, but they enjoyed playing with their cousins. And they totally rocked their turkey outfits :)


Happy Thanksgiving from our little turkeys! :)


Monday, November 13, 2017

Connor

Today we had our blood pregnancy test {our first beta}. We have done this 3 times before {waited for a phone call to see if our tiny embryo(s) have snuggled in}, but it wasn't any less nerve wracking this time around. And since we didn't receive a grade at the time of transfer, we have been desperately praying that our little one was growing strong and snuggling in tight.

Unfortunately, we didn't get the miracle for which we had hoped. The nurse called and my beta was negative, so we are not pregnant. There was a part of me that knew this hard news was coming, but there's always that tiny sliver of hope that you hold onto. 

So that is 7 embryos we have lost. Seven tiny lives that we wanted, prayed for, but didn't get to meet this side of heaven. So much heartache. So much loss... and even after all we have been through, the loss doesn't get any easier...

I decided to give this little one the name Connor, which means "much wanted." Again, we don't know whether our embryos lost were boys or girls, so I chose names based on their significance or meaning. This little one WAS much wanted, and we are sad that we won't get to meet him/her until eternity. 

So we have 1 embryo left. That's overwhelming to think about, that we have one more chance to add to our family. And then that's it. No more babies. 

We know God is good, and that He has our family already planned. So we are clinging to His grace and comfort for whatever is ahead.


Sunday, November 5, 2017

Eli & Maddie's Winter ONEderland Party

This weekend we celebrated Eli and Maddie's first birthday with family. We wanted to keep things simple, but I was still able to use a little bit of my creative side to make a fun party :)

We had a Winter ONEderland theme...because of our precious baby snowflakes! It's hard to believe that our baby loves are already 1 year old. And it amazes us how the Lord has been gracious to us. This was one of the milestones that we prayed for, dreamed of, hoped for. And being able to celebrate with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins just made for a really special day.


I have been slowly pulling together some winter and snowflake decor, and it was a fun creative project for me to work on during nap time. I used my Silhouette Cameo for most of it, and it made for some fairly easy {and inexpensive} decor!







I also decided to make the cupcakes for the party. They were nothing special {I used a box mix}, but I borrowed Lindsay's royal icing recipe and tried my hand at making the candied snowflakes. They were FAR from perfect, but they didn't turn out too bad and everyone seemed to enjoy them.



Special ones for the birthday boy and girl!

We grabbed a few Papa Murphy's pizzas, fruit and veggie trays, and just enjoyed time with family! We were so thankful to have all of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins there to celebrate with us. Maddie struggled a little bit with all of the people and attention, but once she latched on to her comfort people {that day it was Daddy and Grandma}, she started to relax and have fun. Eli had a blast! :)





It's her party and she'll cry if she wants to...







We have been trying our best to avoid sugar, so having a cupcake was Eli and Maddie's first real exposure to it. They both weren't too sure at first, but eventually got the hang of it. They ended up playing with it more than actually eating it. It's probably a good thing that they didn't think it was the best thing they had ever had...keep letting them enjoy their veggies! :)

Daddy thanking Jesus for our baby snowflakes :)









Our family was extremely generous with their birthday presents for Eli and Maddie. Eli caught on to the whole opening presents thing pretty quickly. Maddie still didn't love the attention, but she latched on to the first toy she opened and seemed content from there. Of course, now that her guests are gone, she has LOVED playing with everything that she received.









We had such a fun day celebrating, and we are so thankful to our family for helping to make the day special. Happy Birthday, Eli and Maddie! :)