Sunday, June 18, 2017

To the Daddy Hearts

Today is a day for which we longed, prayed, and waited: getting to celebrate Mike on Fathers' Day with babies in his arms. Just like me, he "celebrated" Father's Day for the past 2 years in a different way...the first as an adoptive father to 6 tiny embryos, and the second as a daddy-to-be of twins. Both times he was waiting to hold his babies in his arms, but his daddy heart still beat with a love for the babies we adopted, the ones we lost, and the ones we were still waiting to meet. 

I think that the guys get forgotten too often in the infertility/loss journey. Because pregnancy and carrying a child is such a motherly desire, the guys too often get pushed to the background. While Mike wasn't grieving in the same ways I was {the ache of wanting to carry a child in the womb}, I can assure you there was still grief. He wanted to be a daddy before we got married, so when the Lord seemed to be closing those doors, it was really hard. There was also the difficulty of watching me struggle through the grief. He felt so helpless and so frustrated that he couldn't give me the child we wanted. 

Today, I praise God for the blessing of celebrating Mike as a daddy. It's a day we were not sure we would ever see. But to see him now, love, care for, hold, play with our little still my heart! Seeing him as a daddy has been one of my greatest joys. Mike humbly joins the ranks of daddies who will be honored and celebrated today. And we don't want the daddy hearts who are still waiting and crying out to God to be forgotten today.

So to the daddy hearts who desperately want to have kids, and who are lovingly standing by their lady through the ups and downs of infertility and/or loss, we know this day can be hard for you too! It's not just the moms who struggle in this journey. We know you may not express your grief the way your wife does, but we know the hurt and the questions are still there. You carry an extra burden of caring for your beloved wife, often setting your own grief aside to attend to hers. We know your sadness and your sacrifice, but more than that, Jesus knows it. Lean into Him and trust His good plan for you both. Because I promise He has not forgotten you.

To the daddy hearts who are missing their beautiful babies today {however old}, I'm sorry for your loss{es} and that you are missing your baby {or babies} today. We are often extra mindful of mama on these hard days, but you lost your precious one{s} too. There is nothing quite like losing a child, and we pray that God comforts you in ways that only He can. May you feel the peace that passes understanding from your Heavenly Father.

To the daddy hearts who are faithfully loving their sweet ones with all they have, be encouraged that you are providing them with a picture of their Heavenly Father that will help them to better understand who He is. Thank you for working hard to provide for your family, and for being such a good daddy. I pray that you feel honored and loved today. I pray that you receive encouragement and affirmation for the sacrifices you make for your family on a daily basis. Give those babies a big daddy hug and wrestle with them because they LOVE it.

And to those who are missing their own dads today, due to distance, broken relationships, or loss, I personally don't know your sadness and hurt, but I am praying that you also are comforted today. Mike and I are both blessed with great fathers, so we cannot even begin to imagine losing them or having a fractured relationship with them, so forgive me that I don't have all the right words for you. But we recognize that today must be a hard day for you too, and I am praying for you on this Father's Day.

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