Beta #2

This phone call is even harder to wait for than the first one. Mostly because you already have the news that you are pregnant, that your tiny one(s) has/have snuggled in, but this phone call determines whether or not they are strong enough. It's almost harder to receive bad news after first receiving good news, rather than just getting bad news from the start. Because you know your baby was there. Your excitement and elation can so easily turn to heartache...

Which is why we were breathing another sigh of relief when the nurse called to tell us that our beta numbers had risen like they were supposed to! Beta #2 was 2415!! :)

I will go for a sonogram on January 19th, so we are praying for a strong heartbeat!

Grow baby grow!

Blood Pregnancy Test

Since we had already taken a home pregnancy test yesterday, we knew that we would get positive news today. But it was still really great to hear it confirmed :)

The office closed early this afternoon for the Christmas holiday, so I actually got the phone call from my doctor, instead of the nurse. She called with the good news and said that my numbers were "phenomenal." They normally like to see a first beta of 50. My first beta was 554!! She was very pleased with that number and was very excited for us. 

We are BEYOND excited about our third baby, and we are so thankful for good numbers! I will go back on Tuesday to make sure my numbers are rising accordingly, but for now, we are rejoicing over the life of this tiny one!

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How far along? 4 weeks + 1 day

Beta Number: 554

Days since transfer: 10 days 

Meds: Stopped taking Cabergoline; day 35 of Estrace; day 17 of PIO

Total weight gain: None yet...although I just started fitting back into my pre-pregnancy jeans {comfortably} from my twin pregnancy, so I guess that's not going to last for long!

Maternity clothes? WAY too early...though I did have to unbutton my jeans this morning because, you know...bloating :)

Sleep: I slept really well last night. I wasn't as nervous since we had already taken a home pregnancy test, so I had no problem falling asleep

Best moment{s} of the week: Seeing the positive pregnancy test, being able to see those results with Mike, and hearing the doctor confirm "you are pregnant!" 

Miss anything? Nope

Cravings: Nothing. Though I have been SUPER thirsty this week.

Symptoms: I feel pretty normal. I have been tired from the progesterone, and have had some light cramping, but that's all common.

Looking forward to: Hearing that our beta numbers rose appropriately

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Size of baby? About the size of a grain of table salt or a spec of glitter {teeny tiny!}

Development: Already growing the cell layers that are the beginnings of the nervous system, hair, skin, GI tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, connective tissue, urogenital system, and muscles

Heartbeat: Too soon

Movement: Too soon

Gender predictions? We are just hoping for a healthy baby...this little one will be our family's tiebreaker!

**This post was written at 4 Weeks + 1 Day, but was not published until after we made our official announcement for our second pregnancy. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**

Home Pregnancy Test

Today I am 9dp5dt...which means I am 9 days past the transfer of a 5 day embryo. I knew I wanted to test at home close to our Beta test, but in the past, I have usually waited to do that the actual morning of our blood pregnancy test. Since we had a morning transfer, and our little embaby was fully hatched at the time of transfer, I decided to test this morning. And plus, I just couldn't wait anymore :)

Mike and I decided to do this together. So I peed on the stick and left the test in the bathroom while we waited together during the 3 minutes. Mike asked me what we were wanting to see, and I told him we wanted to see 2 pink lines. When it was time, we both took a deep breath and looked at the test together. 

And it was the best moment to find out the results together. Our little embaby snuggled in!

I will go in tomorrow for the blood pregnancy test and see what our hcg numbers are. But for today, we are pregnant, and we could not be more excited for this little one to join our family!!

My Last "Two Week Wait"

I am currently in the infamous "two week wait" {TWW}. If you have ever tried to get pregnant, and actually tracked that process, then you know exactly what I am talking about. It's the two {ish} weeks between ovulation {or in our case, embryo transfer} and pregnancy test. It basically involves waiting to "hear the news" on whether or not this is finally going to be the cycle that you get pregnant.

And for those who have walked the road of infertility....it's a LONG two weeks. There's nothing more you can do in that cycle, and really all you can do is...well, wait. Most women walking through this process drive themselves CrAzY by analyzing every little change, twinge, symptom, etc. It's a roller coaster of hope and fear, what-ifs and could-it-bes. 

When I looked back to figure out how often we have endured this crazy waiting period, I realized that this is officially our 36th TWW. We had 31 when we were trying to conceive on our own, 2 with our first 2 frozen embryo transfers, 1 with Eli and Maddie, 1 with another embryo, and now this one. And it's just as emotional the 36th time, as it was the 1st time.

I have also realized that this will be our last TWW. Now that we have transferred all of our embryos, we won't be trying for any more pregnancies. So while that is overwhelming to think about, and there are so many things to say and emotions to feel about that {a post for another time}...there is {strangely} some comfort in it. To know I won't have to endure this crazy emotional roller coaster again is somewhat freeing. It means closing a very difficult chapter in my life, and actually {finally} being able to move on. To put the crazy process behind me. 

So while I sit and wait yet again, and there are so many emotions right now about this being our last shot at pregnancy, I am grateful for how the Lord has reminded me of this bit of grace in not having to endure this process again. 

{Our Last} Transfer Day!

Today felt like a really big day. Today we had our fifth...and our final...frozen embryo transfer. It's crazy that we have done this 4 times before {here, here, here, and here}. But now that we are on our last transfer, with our last embryo...it seems all too quick. And it seems all too final. Definitely a lot of emotions going into today.

I dressed in my usual transfer day attire {snowflake apparel} but I got to add a fun bonus: this beautiful snowflake necklace that Laura got me for Christmas! It was such a sweet and thoughtful gift, and I knew it had to be part of the snowflake ensemble :)

We had a morning transfer this time {9am}, so Mike and I headed out early to beat the traffic...and so I could have time to stop and empty my bladder and drink my obligatory 32 ounces of water at the exact right time :)

I was definitely nervous about going into today; again, with the whole last embryo thing, it just felt like a big deal. So much goes into the process, so many things have to work out just so...

• Hurdle 1: getting to transfer day {uterine lining has to be thick enough}. It was touch and go for a minute, but we eventually got there. So, CHECK
• Hurdle 2: the thawing process {the embryo has to survive the thaw}. We didn't receive a phone call this morning, which is a good sign that we would have a viable embryo waiting for us when we arrived at the surgery center. CHECK 
• Hurdle 3: finding out what that embryo looks like after thawing and having some time to grow. We have had a couple of not so stellar reports when we arrived, but today we got really great news {like we did with Eli and Maddie}! They thawed our embryo yesterday afternoon and gave it time to grow. At the time of transfer it was graded as an AB fully hatched blast. That means it was already out of its protective shell and ready to find a warm home! As a reference point, Eli was an AA ExBL {meaning he was not yet hatched but was fully expanded, the stage right before hatching} and Maddie was a CA HgBL. CHECK
• Hurdle 4: having transfer go on without any glitches or issues CHECK

There are many other hurdles left to go, but just making it this far with such positive and encouraging news is a really huge blessing! I mean, look at that beautiful embaby! And our little embryo actually looked even better at the time of the actual transfer...the baby cells were more prominent when we saw it right before they did the transfer :)

My doctor was very pleased with everything today and she has high hopes for this tiny embryo. So now we wait and pray that he/she snuggles in tight for the next 9 months! Come on baby love; stick and bury in tight!

Age of Embryo? All 4 of our embryos were created in March 2009 {including Eli and Maddie!}, so this one has now been frozen for 8 years and 9 months

Size of Embryo? About 0.1 to 0.2 mm

Development: five-day blastocyst {1 AB HgBL}; the entire genetic blueprint for life {chromosomes/DNA} is present

Meds: Cabergoline 2x/week, day 25 of Estrace, day 7 of progesterone in oil {PIO}

Sleep: I actually had a hard time sleeping last night. Between thinking about the fact that this was our last transfer and the fact that our tiny embryo was thawed last night...well, I had a lot on my mind and a lot to pray about :)

Best moment of the week: Hearing that we could move forward to this final transfer and learning that our little embryo was doing SO well! 

Miss anything? Again- should have had sushi pre-transfer. Oh well.

Cravings: Nope...too soon.

Symptoms: Just some mild cramping from the transfer today...totally normal.

Looking forward to: Spending time with my mom and, of course, our pregnancy test in 10 days!!

Lining Check, Round 2

Today I went in for my second lining check. Since my uterine lining wasn't thick enough last week, I had to spend a few more days on the Estrace to see if it would thicken a little more. I was pretty nervous about this morning. I was hoping that this cycle wouldn't get cancelled and that we would be able to proceed as planned.

I am SO thankful that my lining was at an 8.03mm today! She said it looked "just beautiful" haha. So we are all set for our transfer next Tuesday! I will start my PIO injections tomorrow.

One step closer...

Lining Check

Today we had our lining check for our final frozen embryo transfer. We have done this several times before, but it was a little strange waiting in the exam room, knowing it would be our last one.

In all of our past transfers, I have always received the green light to move forward to transfer. My body responded to the medication the way it was supposed to, and I got the final instructions to prep for transfer. But today didn't quite turn out the way we had hoped or planned. Unfortunately, my uterine lining wasn't thick enough, and the sonogram showed several follicles {which is a concern for ovulation, something the medication is supposed to prevent for a frozen embryo transfer cycle}. My lining was tri-laminar {triple line}, but only 6.4mm thick {needs to be at least 7.5mm}. 

I had blood work done to check my progesterone levels and to check to see if I had ovulated. The good news is that the blood work confirmed that I had NOT. Which for a frozen embryo transfer is what we want. So at least this transfer cycle isn't cancelled...at least not yet. 

So I will stay on my meds for a few more days and they will recheck my lining next week, in hopes that my lining thickens some more. If it does, then we will prep for a December 12th transfer. Praying that we don't have to cancel this cycle and start over at a later time, and that my body preps perfectly to make the best home for a baby.

Transfer Day!

I can't believe we are here again! Frozen embryo transfer #4, hoping {and praying} for baby #3 to parent and hold in our arms. Baby #3... eek! :)

Got my snowflake pants and necklace on for today :)

Since we have been through this several times before, everything seemed pretty routine. Our RE had told us that Eli and Maddie had thawed better than they expected, so she expected the same for this embryo. However, when the embryologist came in to talk with us before the transfer, she told us they were unable to grade our little embryo at the time of the thaw, so we don't have a good idea of what it was looking like. She called it "collapsed," which meant that it was looking too young and they were unable to differentiate the baby cells from the placenta cells, and therefore couldn't grade it.

While it wasn't exactly what we wanted to hear, it wasn't necessarily bad news. She said that our embryo just looked really young at the time of the thaw, and that we would see how it was doing at transfer {about 2-3 hours later}. Like with all of our transfers before, we got to see our embryo on the screen before transfer, and we could see the little cells moving. The embryologist said that it was already looking better, that the cells were growing and dividing like they were supposed to be. So it was heading in the right direction at the time of our transfer. Our RE still seemed really optimistic and not really that worried.

So we're praying this tiny one is growing nice and strong in his/her new home!

Age of Embryo? All 4 of our embryos were created in March 2009 {including Eli and Maddie!}, so this one has now been frozen for 8.5 years

Size of Embryo? About 0.1 to 0.2 mm

Development: five-day blastocyst {graded CB before it was frozen, not graded collapsed at time of thaw}; the entire genetic blueprint for life {chromosomes/DNA} is present

Meds: Cabergoline 2x/week, day 20 of Estrace, day 7 of progesterone in oil {PIO}

Sleep: I actually didn't sleep super well last night. I had a hard time falling asleep and was up pretty early. I kept thinking about this transfer and about our tiny embryo!

Best moment of the week: Making it to transfer {on Eli and Maddie's birthday!}

Miss anything? Nothing yet...though I did think that I should have had sushi before our transfer. Oh well- too late now!

Cravings: Nope...too soon.

Symptoms: The side affects from the hormones seem to have subsided, so I am feeling better. Way too early for anything pregnancy related, though I did have some minor cramping after the transfer {normal and common}.

Looking forward to: Celebrating Eli and Maddie's first birthday! Pregnancy test in 10 days!!

Lining Check

Today I went in for a sonogram lining check. I have been taking Estrace in increasing amounts for the past 2 weeks, in order to build up the lining of my uterus. In all of the transfers before, I never had any side effects from that, but this time I have had a few. So I wasn't sure what to expect today, in case my body hasn't been responding to the meds the way it has in the past.

The nurse took awhile during the sonogram, and she kind of made me nervous. She kept trying to get a good measurement and saying I was "so close." Turns out, she was hoping to see 8mm, but I had to tell her that I have never been at 8mm for a lining check (instead closer to 7.5mm). I measured at 7.43mm today, so I didn't know if that would be good or not. They placed me in a conference room, and I started thinking that all my planning for a November 2nd transfer was for nothing, as I was thinking I would have to stay on the meds longer and push that transfer date off.

They came in a couple of times to ask a few questions, but would leave again. But they finally came in with my transfer protocol instructions, so all is well! We are on track for a transfer next Thursday (November 2nd)! Wahoo! :)

I {once again} have my Sharpie target circles drawn on my rear and will start the PIO injections tonight. Here we go!

FET Consult

Today I had a consult with my RE to discuss the protocol for our next frozen embryo transfer! There were not any surprises; we have done 3 transfers before. It all seemed so familiar. 

But it was so exciting to be discussing the details of adding to our family! We have decided to transfer 1 embryo this time, instead of 2 {like we have done in the past}. You know, to lower our chances for another set of twins :)

So we are all set. I just have to get past my colonoscopy on Friday {totally unrelated}, and then we'll be able to start our next transfer cycle! :)

Starting the Journey to Baby #3...Here We Go Again!

Today I met with my RE to get the ball rolling on our next frozen embryo transfer! Now that I am cleared from all that tumor mess, we can move forward with planning for baby #3!

Yes, I just said that. Baby #3. Eek!

Are we crazy?? Maybe just a little :) But here's the thing...we knew when we started this embryo adoption journey that we would be having {hopefully, prayerfully} our babies close together. There are a number of reasons for that, but as crazy as it may sound to some, we are ok with it and definitely ready {already}! And because it can be such a process to get pregnant, we knew we needed to get started. 

It was so surreal to be back in my RE's office. It felt like we were just here. And to be honest, it hasn't really been that long since we "graduated" from her care to my OB {16 months}. But this time felt different. I was a little nervous, but more out of excitement than anything else this time. Before, it was all the nervousness of the unknowns and what-ifs. Today, there was not the same weight of grief and longing as there was before. In some ways it felt strange to be there, knowing that I had babies waiting for me at home. I actually cried in the waiting room out of the sheer gratitude for all that the Lord had done, and so excited about what else He might do with our little family.

The consult with my RE went so well! I have said before how much I love this doctor, but I just have to say it again. Because she's amazing, and I am just so thankful that the Lord provided her to us in this journey. When she came to get me from the waiting room, she gave me a huge hug, and it was such a sweet gesture, knowing how hard she has already worked to help us grow our family.

I will have to do a few tests to be sure my uterus is healthy and ready to carry another pregnancy. She will have to check for scarring and to see if my endometriosis has caused any problems. If I am cleared from that, then we can start planning for our frozen embryo transfer. If she finds any issues, then I will have to have another laparoscopy before we can move forward.

So we're praying that all is well, and we can start planning for a frozen embryo transfer in the next couple of months!

Embryo Adoption :: Our Journey {2016 part 1}

And the journey continues in 2016...

January 4, 2016: We got word that our contracts arrived at our agency, so now we're just waiting on the signed contracts from our donor family.

January 15, 2016: You are Ours.

January 19, 2016: The signed contract from the donor family came in...the 4 precious embryos are legally ours! 

January 20, 2016: Shipping coordination began; sent embryo storage consent form to our clinic.

January 21, 2016: All paperwork is in, and we have the green light to ship from our clinic; just waiting on a ship date from the donor family clinic!

January 22, 2016: Winter Storm Jonas/Blizzard 2016/Snowpocalypse hits the East coast, so we will have have to wait for the weather to clear before shipping is safe.

January 27, 2016: Completely unexpected: we got a call today that our little ones had not only shipped, but had actually already made their trek from Virginia to Texas, and are safe and sound in our clinic!

February 1, 2016: FET protocol appointment with RE, blood work for hormone levels.

February 2, 2016: Blood work came back early. Stopped taking BCP.

February 6, 2016: Officially started transfer cycle...here we go again!

February 11, 2016: Rejoicing with Habakkuk

February 18, 2016: Lining check sonogram.

February 19, 2016: Secret Passage + Prayers

February 20, 2016: Started PIO injections. Not my favorite part of this process, but thankful for a hubby who helps me with these injections.

February 25, 106: Praying in Community

February 26, 2016: Transfer Day #3

March 4, 2016: Almost

March 7, 2016: Blood Pregnancy Test. We are PREGNANT!!

March 9, 2016: Beta #2.

March 14, 2016: 5 Weeks

March 21, 2016: 6 Weeks

March 24, 2016: First Ultrasound- Hello Babies!

March 28, 2016: 7 Weeks

March 31, 2016: Breathing a Sigh of Relief

April 4, 2016: 8 Weeks

April 7, 2016: Second Ultrasound- The Most Beautiful Sound

April 8, 2016: OB Orientation

April 10, 2016: Today Mike and I wandered around a baby store. We know it's really early, but we wanted to let ourselves dream a little for a bit. And he said we had to buy at least 1 thing before we could leave. So we bought a super soft baby blanket and some bibs. This might seem like a silly thing for some, but for us, it is what we have wanted to do for so long. It was a sweet day together, and I'm thankful that he helps me remember to enjoy what the Lord has done for us.

April 11, 2016: 9 Weeks + First appointment with my OB...definitely feeling blessed :)

April 18, 2016: 10 Weeks

April 20, 2016: ChromoMap blood draw

April 23, 2016: ER Visit

April 24, 2016: Ode to the PIO

April 25, 2016: 11 Weeks

April 26, 2016: Follow Up with OB

April 27, 2016: I recruited Lindsay to help me with baby quilts and we got started today! When you have been planning a nursery for 3+ years, it's SUPER fun to actually get to DO something :)

May 2, 2016: 12 Weeks

May 3, 2016: We got the results back form our ChromoMap genetic testing, and everything came back normal. So thankful for healthy babies!

May 6, 2016: Level II Ultrasound

May 7, 2016: Our Public Announcement + God's Plan for Our Family

**  I only provided links above for my first 12 weeks of a baby bump, since we didn't make any public announcements until after that. The rest of my pregnancy weeks can be found here - though you will have to scroll back a bit to get back to my twin pregnancy :)  **

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Our embryo adoption journey is far from over, and in many ways has just begun. But that brings us up to date on our journey so far. We are thankful for this incredible gift, and we stand in awe of God's unique way of growing our family. We can't wait to see how He continues to write our story!

Embryo Adoption :: Our Journey {2015}

Our journey continued through 2015...

January 6, 2015: We {finally} finished our home study checklist!

January 7, 2015: I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy for the originally diagnosed hydrosalpinx. This surgery showed that there was not hydrosalpinx, but instead endometriosis and an orange-sized ovarian cyst {!} We were nervous about what this meant for our FET {Frozen Embryo Transfer}, but I went home to rest/recover and await the verdict.

January 15, 2015: Skype call with our home evaluation worker.

January 23, 2015: Post-op appointment with my RE, where we received {thankfully} confirmation that we were still good candidates for an FET!

January 31, 2015: Home visit for our home evaluation.

February 11, 2015: Approved for our home study!

February 19, 2015: Matching interview to start the matching phase.

February 24, 2015: We received our first potential match with a donor family {M&A}!

February 25, 2015: Embryology report sent to my RE.

March 2, 2015: We accepted the match with M&A for 6 precious embryos!

March 4, 2015: We entered the contract phase for the embryo adoption.

March 10, 2015: FET protocol consult with my RE.

March 16, 2015: After some negotiation regarding future contact with the donor family, we received the contract.

March 17, 2015: We signed/notarized the contract, and my FET medications arrived in the mail.

Sadly, this is only a fraction of my meds...

March 25, 2015: Mock Embryo Transfer

March 26, 2015: Blood work showed hyperprolactinemia {big fancy word for high prolactin levels}, so I started medication to reduce my prolactin levels leading up to a transfer.

Such a tiny dose. I will take 1/2 a pill twice a week until we get a positive HPT.

April 3, 2015: The signed contract from the donor family came in...the 6 precious embryos are legally ours! {Good Friday}.

April 6, 2015: Shipping coordination began {donor family blood work recommended by the FDA + clinic release form}.

May 7, 2015: After a lot of difficulty and frustration, our donor family finally found a clinic that would do their blood draw.

May 10, 2015: A Different Kind of Mom {Mother's Day}

May 11, 2015: Because our embryos still have not shipped, I started taking birth control pills to help ward off endometriosis and prepare for our transfer cycle. {Anyone notice the irony of taking a birth control pill in an effort to get pregnant??}

May 13, 2015: Donor family went in for their blood draw...now we just wait for the blood test results to come back from the lab.

May 22, 2015: After a slight issue with the testing kit, the results came back clear. Now we just wait for the donor family to sign/notarize the clinic release form.

June 3, 2015: The donor family signed/notarized and mailed the clinic release form. Now we just wait for it to arrive so we can ship!

June 9, 2015: I had my second hysteroscopy to make sure that my endometriosis had not returned.

June 12, 2015: All paperwork is in!! Nightlight is finalizing shipping details, so our babies should ship first thing next week!!

June 16, 2015: Our embryos shipped today- our babies are {finally} on their way!! Hallelujah, praise Jesus! It has been a LONG 10 weeks...

June 17, 2015: Our embryos arrived safely at our clinic!!  

June 20, 2015: Officially started transfer cycle.

July 2, 2015: Lining check sonogram...lining is 7mm, so we scheduled our transfer. I also started the dreaded Progesterone in Oil {PIO} shots.

One of these suckers in the rear every day for 12-14 weeks; and don't be fooled- that is most definitely thick, slow-injecting oil in that syringe...

July 10, 2015: Transfer Day!

July 20, 2015: Negative Pregnancy Test- transfer 1 failed. Jack & Jill.

July 21, 2015: Follow up appointment to determine next steps after failed FET.

July 23, 2015: I Stand for Life

July 24, 2015: Started transfer cycle #2.

August 7, 2015: Lining check #2.

August 13, 2015: Started PIO again {we had to push our transfer back several days in order to accommodate the embryology schedule}.

August 17, 2015: Thaw Day.

August 19, 2015: Transfer Day #2!.

August 20, 2015: Amy and Noah.

August 31, 2015: Blood Pregnancy Test- we are pregnant!!!

September 2, 2015: Beta #2- we are losing our babies...

September 7, 2015: I miscarried...

September 9, 2015: Beta #3, confirmation that we are no longer pregnant; Annie and Hope.

September 10, 2015: Post transfer and miscarriage follow-up appointment; started taking BCP again for endometriosis management.

September 14, 2015: Blood work to determine if there are any underlying autoimmune issues that could have caused my miscarriage.

September 15, 2015: A letter to our precious genetic family, M&A.

September 16, 2015: Miscarriage after Infertility, Hope after Loss.

September 17, 2015: Received test results back from autoimmune testing- everything is normal. Praise God!

September 18, 2015: Began the process of updating our file and home study with Nightlight so we could move forward with rematching.

October 13, 2015: Home visit #2.

October 15, 2015: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day + 6 Babies.

October 20, 2015: Re-approved for our home study; officially entered into the re-matching process.

October 24, 2015: The Announcement That Didn't Happen...

November 4, 2015: We received a potential match with another donor family {I&A}; embryology report sent to RE.

November 8, 2015: When the Tears Come.

November 13, 2015: Consultation with RE about embryology report; we needed to clarify details on the report, so we scheduled yet another follow up.

November 17, 2015: Trusting our RE's opinion and after much prayer, we made the decision to decline the match with I&A. We now wait for another one.

December 3, 2015: We received a potential match with another donor family {J&J}; embryology report sent to RE. I also attended my first Shiloh coffee.

December 10, 2015: We accepted the match with our second family for 4 precious embryos!

December 11, 2015: We entered the contract phase for our second embryo adoption.

December 18, 2015: After approving the contract terms for future contact with our donor family, we received the embryo adoption agreement! Nightlight closes at the end of the year, so we will have to wait until January for any further progress.  My Christmas Wish List.

December 20, 2015: We signed and notarized the contracts, as well as the FET protocol paperwork. Now we wait for Nightlight to re-open in January to schedule shipping!

We have sent a lot of envelopes/packages to California this year!

December 25, 2015: Christmas was difficult this year with the loss of our babies. But I love the snowflake ornaments that we got for each of them, to represent the tiny lives that the Lord gave to us, if even for a short time.

December 30, 2015: The best is yet to come.

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We closed 2015 grieving the loss of our first 6 babies, but hopeful for the life to come with our 4 new babies!

Embryo Adoption :: Ode to the PIO

Today I took my last PIO shot {at least for now...we still have 2 more frozen embryos waiting for us!}. Including my first 2 unsuccessful transfers, and now this one where I got to complete the full cycle, I have taken a total of 101 shots in my butt. That's a lot of shots, a bruised and sore rump, and a whole lot of love for our babies :)

About 6 days before my transfer, I started taking these shots of progesterone in oil {PIO}. I started with 0.5ml, increased to 1.0ml, then eventually was up to 1.5ml every day through 11 weeks of pregnancy. Because you have to gear up to prepare for pregnancy with a frozen embryo transfer, you basically have to teach your body how to produce it on its own. By week 11, my body was producing enough progesterone on its own to support my pregnancy, which is why I could wean off.

So what is this PIO shot?

Progesterone in Oil {PIO} shot is an intramuscular injection...which is why it goes in the butt. It's gotta go deep enough into the muscle. It's {obviously} in oil, so it's nice and thick. Which is why you need a large gauge needle to draw the medication out. And no fast injections on this one. Slow and steady is the name of this game. The injection needle is {thankfully} thinner, but it's still a big, long needle...because it has to reach down into your muscle. So it is definitely 1.5 inches long. And for me, it is definitely a 2-person job...look, there are brave ladies out there who do these on their own. I am not one of these women. So my sweet husband was my nurse, and he was fantastic. I hated getting stuck, but he hated sticking me, so at least we were on the same page.

Every night, I would gather our supplies:

• 18-gauge needle {draw up needle}
• PIO bottle {the actual medication}
• 22-gauge needle {actual injection needle}
• Alcohol swab {to sterilize the bottle and my rear}
• BandAid {I used the little square ones, because somehow it felt like wasting less?}
• Sharpie Marker {to redraw our lovely little targets}
• Heating pad {to heat the oil and my sore rear}

And every night, this would be our process:

• Step 1: Gather all supplies and turn on the heating pad.
• Step 2: Sterilize the PIO bottle and draw up the oil into the syringe.
• Step 3: Remove draw up needle and place barrel in heating pad to help soften the oil {it helped it go in smoother and prevented knots}
• Step 4: Attach injection needle and prepare for injection
• Step 5: Sterilize injection site, take a deep breath, take the weight off the side where we're injecting, remind yourself you are doing this for your babies, take another deep breath, and tell Mike "ready."
• Step 6: Jab that sucker in quickly to the top right quadrant {trust me, it's much better than sticking it in slowly}. 
• Step 7: Draw back the needle and make sure there is no blood in the syringe. If there is, then you have to start over because you hit a blood vessel. Thankfully, we never had this happen. 
• Step 8: Begin plunging the oil in slowly. Seriously, the slower the better. Too fast, and the oil doesn't have enough time to dissipate and you can end up with knots and a really sore backside.
• Step 9: Remove needle and have a towel ready, just in case you have a bleeder. This happened to me A LOT. It's not a huge deal. You just have to wait for it to stop. 
• Step 10: Add a Band-Aid and dispose of needles in a proper sharps container
• Step 11: Massage injection site, walk around for a bit, do some lunges, sit on heating pad for a few minutes {all to help disperse the oil and prevent knots}.
• Step 12: Thank the Lord for modern medicine and kiss your hubby for being an awesome nurse :)

Each night, we would switch sides, which helped give my backside a little bit of a break. I have to say that these were WAY more scary before we actually did them. Sometimes the injection hurt, but most of the time, I didn't really feel much. Some people ice the injection site before they stick the needle in, but the needle prick wasn't what hurt for me. It was the actual injecting of the oil that hurt more, so I took steps to heat up the oil and help disperse it better. Some people get really sore by week 11, but thankfully I didn't feel too bad. I did start to bruise quite a bit, so that made finding a non-bruised injection site a bit more difficult. And the injection sites can itch sometimes. But the shots are definitely doable. All for the babies :)

Until our next transfer....

Embryo Adoption :: Beta # 2 {FET #3}

Today I went in for my second blood pregnancy test to see if my beta numbers were rising. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. While I felt more confident going into today than I did last time {because of our high number on Monday}, that nagging fear still crept in. After all, we were pregnant last time. And last time our numbers fell. And I have walked the road of infertility. We just know too much...

When I went in for the blood test, the nurse who has walked with us from the beginning made sure to come over and give me a congratulatory hug. She has been such an encouragement throughout this process, and it is so sweet how she is genuinely sharing in our excitement. Love. Our. Clinic.

When she called this afternoon, she had more good news! Our beta number had MORE than doubled: 3038!! Our babies (?) are growing!!

{Excuse me while I do a little happy dance and jump around the room in excitement}!  :) :) :)

I think Mike is pretty excited too...

   

    

I have woken up the last couple of days with a smile on my face, thinking to myself, "Erin, you're pregnant! There are {hopefully 2} babies in there!" This is REALLY happening! The Lord is being so gracious to us, and we are beyond thankful.

{Excuse me while I fall to my knees and praise my faithful and good God}!

Today I scheduled my 6.5 week ultrasound, my 8.5 week ultrasound, a pregnancy orientation with my OB's office, and my first OB appointment. Definitely a VERY fun day! :)

Embryo Adoption :: Transfer Day {FET #3}

I woke up this morning really early, so excited {and a little anxious} for today. I have done this twice before, but today I woke up with a peace from the Lord. I dressed in my snowflake leggings, put on my snowflake necklace, drank my 32 oz of water to fill my bladder {much easier with my infused water!}...and was ready to meet our tiny snowflakes!

And now our babies are on board! I am officially PUPO :)

Today we had our {third} Frozen Embryo Transfer {FET}. We transferred 2 day-five blastocysts, so yes- we are praying for twins again! I love that we both get to be there to see our tiny ones transferred together. To watch our little embryos on the ultrasound screen and know the exact time that they enter my uterus is such a sweet gift in this difficult journey. We got to see their little cells moving like crazy as they were inserted and released; how cool is that??

We made the decision to transfer one of our higher graded embryos with one of our lower graded ones. So we transferred 1 embryo that was graded AA and expanded {the grade when it was frozen, but it was starting to hatch by the time of transfer}, and 1 that was graded CA and hatching. 

Quick lesson in embryo grading:

• Letter grades are just like in school: A is the best
• First letter is for the inner cells that go on to make the baby 
• Second letter is for the outer cells that go on to make the placenta
• Expanded means there are lots of cells and the protective shell is already starting to thin so that the embryo can break out {though it hasn't yet}
• Hatching means there are lots of cells and the embryo is already breaking out of the protective shell {a good thing!}

Look at those beautiful embabies! :)

Both the embryologist and my RE said that they both thawed perfectly and looked beautiful. They were both really excited for us, which was such an encouragement. We even had the embryologist from our last 2 transfers come in to tell us how excited she was for us. Because she was the one that had to tell us not so great news with our last embryos; so she made it a point to let us know how different this time was. There are still no guarantees, but this was such an encouragement for us! We are SO thankful for all of the doctors, embryologists, and nurses that have walked with us in this journey.

So our embryos looked great and mature and right on track for growth! :)

We left feeling excited and hopeful. There is still a twinge of fear; we know the realities of the possible outcomes, and science can only tell us so much. Our little ones are in God's hands, and we will patiently wait and pray over the next 10 days {and 9 months!} for the Lord to bring these little ones into our arms and our family.

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Age of Embryos? They were created in March 2009, so they have been frozen for just shy of 7 years

Size of Embryos? About 0.1 to 0.2 mm

Development: five-day blastocysts {1 AA ExBL and 1 CA HgBL}; the entire genetic blueprint for life {chromosomes/DNA} is present

Meds: Cabergoline 2x/week, Metformin daily, day 20 of Estrace, day 7 of progesterone in oil {PIO}

Sleep: Despite my excitement and anxiety, I slept really well...nice and rested up for the transfer!

Best moment of the week: Hearing that our little ones thawed perfectly and seeing their little cells moving and growing at transfer

Miss anything? Sweet tea...I cut back after my pre-diabetes diagnosis. Could be worse; but I sure do miss my sweet tea! 

Cravings: Nothing yet

Symptoms: Just a little tired from the progesterone

Looking forward to: Our pregnancy test in 10 days, and finding out if our babies snuggled in tight!

**This post was written on our transfer day, but was not published until after we made our official announcement. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**