Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A Letter to Our {1st} Precious Genetic Family

This was by far one of the most difficult letters I had to write. How do you share so much loss to the family who entrusted you with their tiny ones? The words came from the Lord, and I prayed {and still pray} that our precious genetic family would find comfort and closure in knowing their embryos were no longer frozen. While it wasn't the outcome any of us wanted, I am incredibly thankful for their gift and for the grace and comfort they offered us.

{Up to this point, our communication with our genetic family had been fairly limited. We were just at the outset of our journey, so we hadn't had the chance to build a deep relationship yet. It's why the letter may seem a little direct in some places, as we were advised by our agency to communicate that way. Despite our short relationship, we will forever be connected with this precious family}.

Dear M&A,

It is with heavy hearts that we send this email. We had let you know about the first failed transfer, but were excited and ready for the next one. We lost 2 embryos to the thawing process, but were able to transfer the remaining 2. We received good news at our pregnancy test, and we were ecstatic! At least one of the embryos had implanted, but unfortunately did not grow. A short time later we miscarried. We are beyond devastated, but we are trying to trust the Lord in the midst of our heartache.

We are so sad to share this news with you; we want to express our grief and sadness for your loss as well. We wanted so much to not only build our family, but also to share the lives of these precious ones with your sweet family. While we did not meet with "success," we are still forever grateful to you for your precious gift. While Erin only carried these little ones for a short time, you allowed her the opportunity to become a mother, and we will never be able to adequately express our gratitude for that.

We wanted to share with you the names we gave to each embryo. We believe wholeheartedly that each one was a unique life, valued and wanted and loved.

2 from our first transfer:
  • Jack and Jill- a sweet mentor and friend affectionately named them; he has prayed for us, your family, and our babies, and we thought these sweet names were a precious way to honor their little lives

2 we lost in the thawing process:
  • Amy- means "dearly loved"
  • Noah- means "rest or peace"
Both of these tiny ones were incredibly loved and wanted, and we are thankful they now find rest with Jesus. They will never know the pains of this world, but instead will only ever know the face of our beautiful Savior.

2 from our second transfer:
  • Annie- means "blessed with grace"- we were indeed blessed with the grace of this tiny life, even if it was only for a short time. This name is our reminder that we are showered with grace from the Lord, and we still will bless His name, even if there is pain in our offering.
  • Hope- chosen because of the hope and joy we felt when we found out we were pregnant. This name is our reminder that our felt hope and joy may have been taken in this moment, in this circumstance, but that our ultimate hope and joy in Jesus can never be taken

We find comfort in knowing that these precious ones are no longer frozen and are now in the presence of their Creator. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement in this process, and most importantly for your precious gift. We pray blessings and grace over your sweet family; please know that you will always have a family in Dallas praying for yours.

Mike & Erin

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