The last 10 days have been incredibly long and difficult. After the conversation with the embryologist at the time of our transfer, our hearts were heavy, but we were still trying to hold out hope for our miracle.
We went in first thing this morning for our blood pregnancy test and had to wait 7 excruciating hours before we heard the results: "I'm sorry, but the results came back negative."
Negative. Not pregnant. Still no baby.
Our tiny ones didn't make it. We knew the chances were low, so we were not surprised by the news, but somehow it didn't make the heartache any less. We knew that God could do anything, but for reasons only He knows, He said no again. We know He is still good, but it's still so hard. We're so tired of hearing "no." And now that "no" is linked to the loss of 2 of our babies.
Our little ones were affectionately named Jack and Jill by one of Mike's mentors who has been relentlessly petitioning the Lord on our behalf. Jack and Jill. Two tiny lives that were created 8 years ago, held on ice, and lovingly given through adoption. These little lives could not have been more wanted and loved, despite the fact that they didn't know life here. We are sad that we will not get to meet them this side of heaven, but we are thankful that they are now in the presence of Jesus, no longer frozen.
So we continue to wait to meet our family. We knew this was a reality of the embryo adoption journey, but man, is it ever hard...
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