I didn't publish this in my earlier post today because we haven't publicly shared our embryo adoption story yet. {So this was published much, much later}. But I wanted to still be sure and take the time {on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day} to honor each one of our babies.
At 7pm, people all across the U.S. lit candles in memory of their precious ones that were gone too soon. We had 6 candles to light. I thought it was fitting to light them in our empty nursery, but man was that hard. There are days when it's incredibly difficult to walk by that room, wondering what could have been, trying to trust the Lord's goodness in our loss.
We adopted 6 embryos; we became parents to 6 babies that were entrusted to our care. And for reasons only the Father knows, we had to say goodbye to all 6 before we even had the chance to meet them. We named each of them, because they were each unique, individual lives created by God. Each desperately wanted and absolutely loved.
Jack.
Jill.
Amy.
Noah.
Annie.
Hope.
I have shared the stories and meanings of their names here, here, and here. I wear their names on a few stackable rings as an ongoing way to honor their memory. It reminds me of the incredible gift they were to us and reminds me to pray for their genetic family, whose generous gift allowed us to become parents. It helps me not forget the struggles and joys of our journey and how the Lord has been gracious to us, even in the midst of incredible heartache. It gives me courage to not give up on our dreams of growing our family and to trust the One who holds us all {mom, dad, and babies} in His sovereign hand.
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