Almost

This song was shared in a Facebook group, and I couldn't stop bawling. The estrogen and progesterone are surging, and the anxiety is setting in...we have 3 more days until our pregnancy test, and I am just so nervous. I am trying so hard to keep it together and trust Jesus, but more often than not I just end up bawling and begging Jesus to bring us our little ones.

I just don't know what I will do if it's negative. Or if it's positive and then we lose our babies again. Our hearts are just so weary and ready for our family...

I thought this song was incredibly painful but still somehow beautiful. It accurately expresses how we felt when we lost our babies last year. I would have been 31 weeks today, getting so close to meeting our little ones. It still hurts, even knowing that we could be learning of our newest little ones soon. I hate infertility so much.

Almost by R. Garvin

I had you and then I lost you, just like that

You were mine then you were gone, just like that

And my heart broke like shattered glass

It happened so fast

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

You were given then taken, just like that

Now I'll never be the same again, just like that

When your heartbeat stopped so soon

Felt like mine did too

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

I saw your future in my mind, so beautiful and bright

I wondered what you'd be like

Crackin' jokes or a little shy

I wanted to be in the front row, at every game and every show

I wanted to watch you grow

But now I'll never know, oh oh

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, God knows I wanted you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

Fly baby, fly baby fly

Fly angel, fly angel fly

Spread your wings and fly