Friday, February 19, 2016

Secret Passage + Prayers

Today I painted the nursery.

I haven't gone {completely} crazy. I know we haven't even had our transfer yet. There is no baby on the way, at least not in the sense that most people understand. The decision was part necessity, part faith. 

For months, I have walked by the empty room that was slated to be our nursery. It's right next to our bedroom, so there's no avoiding it. And for months it has haunted me. The lone dresser, painted with a nursery in mind, and the rocking chair my parents dropped off when we thought we would be needing it last year. I had put paint samples up on the wall, and had even taped off the trim. I could see this every time I walked by the room. Just painful reminders of what was supposed to be, but now wasn't.

So the necessity was to get rid of the paint samples and blue tape, making it a clean, freshly painted room. I thought that maybe having it one color would make the "in-process" look less noticeable. Maybe it would be less of a painful reminder if it looked more like the rest of the house, rather than only partially done. If it looked more like a room of hope that is ready to be decorated and filled...

The faith part is because we hope that we will be actually turning it into a nursery in a few short months. We hope and pray that the dresser and rocking chair will be joined by cribs and blankets and toys and books and all things baby. Painting a room doesn't make a baby happen; it's not some magic formula that will help us get what we want. The room is still painfully empty. But we are stepping out in faith next Friday at our transfer, asking that the Lord brings life to our little ones and allows us to bring them home to this nursery.

Maybe it's a little crazy. But it just felt right, and today I had the strength for it. So today I painted our nursery, covering the walls with the Olympic brand color of Secret Passage and filling the room with a whole lot of prayers...

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