Sunday, May 8, 2016

Motherhood Doesn't Always Come Easy

Today is Mother's Day. This day had brought so much grief and heartache over the past few years of our struggle to grow our family. I have wished and prayed and hoped that this Mother's Day would be different. That I would finally get to hear the tiny voice that calls me the one name I long to hear more than any other: mom. But for those who struggle with infertility and loss, this dream seems so elusive. There are many who fight so hard for their title of "mom." For them, motherhood just doesn't come so easy.

Last year, I was a different kind of mom, because I was the adoptive mom of 6 tiny embryos. We were preparing to meet them, and didn't know that they would all meet Jesus first.

Yesterday would have been my due date for 2 little ones we lost, so I had hoped to have a baby in my arms today. But instead, I am a grieving mom, mourning the loss of the little ones we never got to meet. 

This year is different, because I am able to rejoice over the new little lives that are growing in my belly. It's true that this joyful news made the day a little easier to face. And I look forward to holding my babies in my arms next Mother's Day.

But there was still a twinge of pain and loss, and there's always the fight against fear. It has been such a fight to get to this point, and our fight isn't over. But we praise God for all He has done, and we are thankful that He makes all things new. He takes our brokenness and our pain, and He makes it whole and beautiful. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there...the ones who sacrifice so much for their families. But I want to say a special Happy Mother's Day to those who have fought hard for their title. To those who know the struggles of infertility. To those who have lost their precious ones too soon. And to those who are still fighting. 

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