Monday, April 25, 2016

Because of Infertility...

...I will never ask you if you are pregnant. Because I would hate to ruin the surprise for which you have waited, or deepen the hurt you carry.

...I will not ask what your plans are for having children, what your timeline is, how many you want, or the gender for which you hope. I know the burden of those questions, and those things are never in our control anyway.

...I won't try to "fix" you or offer unsolicited advice. I am more than happy to talk about our experience, but I know it was the better part of a year before I could talk about it without bursting into tears.

...I will not assume that I know how you feel, even if you are walking a similar road. While there are certainly common feelings and experiences among those who face infertility, everyone processes differently, and no two journeys are alike.

...I have a deeper appreciation for life, but more importantly, the Giver of life. I was pro-life before our infertility struggle, but my heart more deeply understands the fragility of life {and the miraculous gift that it is} because of our struggle.

...I will never be the same. Infertility and loss changed me. I am simply not the same person I was before we walked this road. My ideas on family, faith, and hope were challenged, and I find myself viewing most things in my life differently. Over the past 3.5 years, I have experienced more heartbreak and defeat than I ever thought possible. But I know the Lord has walked with me in the valley and will bring me safely out of it. 

...I trust God's goodness. This is the one thing I have struggled with the most in our journey. I have questioned, doubted, and even denied it at different points in our struggle. But God's grace covers all, and I am thankful for our infertility, because it has shown me the depth and the fulness of God's goodness. 

...I remember my dear single friends who long to have a family but cannot because God has not brought their spouse yet, or for the friends who have experienced the pains of loss or a broken marriage. Their longing for a family is also a struggle, as they seek to trust the Lord and His perfect timing. I remember that what I have in a loving husband was what I once hoped and prayed for.

...I pray for those who are walking the hard road of infertility. It is a heartache like no other, and I pray for those who experience it to know the depth and wonder of Jesus. I pray that you know that He is good, regardless if the circumstances may seem to say otherwise.

*This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. 

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