Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Confessions of a Tunnel Vision Recoveree

One thing I really struggle with is taking my eyes off a seemingly difficult situation long enough to focus on God's provision and faithfulness. I tend to have "tunnel vision." I am extremely blessed and have tons of things to be thankful for, and yet I tend to have a short-term memory on the blessings the Lord has provided. Praise God for His Spirit and the conviction He brings with love and grace. Growing up, I remember countless times when I would be rattling off a list of complaints to my mom and she would patiently listen then oh-so-sweetly answer, "And I bet you can't find your socks either, right?" Of course at the time, I was just irritated with her response, but I am so grateful for her gentle reminder that God is good and my list of complaints was really just that: complaints. I aspire to be more like my mom- one of those "half-full" people. You know the kind. You may even be that kind. You tend to be irritating to those of us self-proclaimed realists who tend to be labeled "half-empty" people ;)

I am daily learning to focus more on my blessings and God's faithfulness, because He is so good to me- despite my selfishness and short-term memory. Part of the process is writing down how the Lord has been's a discipline I have been working on in an attempt to improve my "tunnel vision." It's amazing how your perspective changes when you take your eyes off yourself :) For those of you "half-full" people who are already good at patient with the rest of us and patiently encourage us to the light...

One thing I struggled with last year was the 4 months of unemployment and letting go of my own dreams/plans for event planning. And yet, God was faithful to provide during that time without a job, and then to provide a good job with an amazing boss and wonderful co-workers. And He has taught me so much in the last year about contentment, surrender, and trust. While the surrender process was difficult, and at times painful, I praise God for it and wouldn't change it- even if I was offered my (previous) dream event planning job today.

While 2009 was the year of unemployment, 2010 has been the year of unexpected expenses. From medical bills to car repair expenses (like today, I have to replace my windshield because a rock kicked up on the highway and cracked it to the point of replacement = awesome). Instead of complaining or getting frustrated, I want to take my seemingly difficult circumstances and re-focus my attention on God's goodness and faithfulness. [Side note: I say "seemingly" difficult because I recognize that I don't have real struggles in light of all the suffering around me. Hence, the need to escape my "tunnel vision"] I have been reminded in the last few weeks how truly blessed I am to even have a job in this down economy. And I am thankful that I have a car that is paid off and that is a reliable source of transportation. I am part of a very small percentage of people in the world that has access to healthcare, and I praise God for His constant provision for my bills.

And as if that wasn't enough, I was reminded this morning how absolutely merciful the Lord has been to me- to separate unemployment and unexpected expenses by a year and not allow them to occur at the same time. That seems like such a simple thought, and yet how quickly I could take these things for great is my God!

Does anyone else struggle with "tunnel vision"? Perhaps it's just me :) Regardless, I encourage you to reflect on God's goodness and faithfulness to you. He alone deserves all glory, honor, and praise!


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