Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Under Attack

So I have had 2 major blows in the past few days...kind of makes me nervous to continue through the rest of today. The peace and encouragement I had previously received about my job was suddenly shaken yesterday when I realized that my boss and I left that conversation with two completely different ideas. He assumed one thing, while I walked away thinking the opposite. So it was discouraging when I found out that the pressure I thought was gone is actually still there. Having a couple of days to think and pray, the initial shock and confusion has faded. It's still difficult, and I am not really excited about what all of this could mean. But God is good, and He has a plan. I have to trust that plan and be obedient, even when it's hard.

And then came blow #2. I mentioned that I got pretty sick at the end of my trip to Nicaragua, and I ended up having to make a trip to the emergency room. When you spend 2 days in a foreign country praying that the Lord just kill you because you are so sick and in so much pain, you realize the incredible blessing of being able to come home to a place where you have access to good medical care. And then you get the bill. I swear my heart stopped beating for 4 seconds when I read the total cost. I am grateful for insurance that is able to negotiate down the costs, but even after that, the amount is exhorbitantly high- at least it is for my budget. I think I am just discouraged at this point because I was finally going to be at a level playing field in August (only 2 weeks away!) after previous financial setbacks. I feel like I am back at square one again, and that's just a defeating feeling...

I know my God is good and that He will provide- He always does. And I can hardly complain about my job or financial situation in the grand scheme of things. But right now I could use some relief, encouragement, and lots of prayer.

1 comment:

  1. My dear baby girl, I'm so so sorry that you're having to go through this. I want you to know that I love you and wish I could be there to give you a hug right now. The last few months have been the most lonely and chaotic of my life and all I've wanted was for someone to say they understand and they love me. So...I say it to you. I love you and completely understand. If you need to talk, I'm here.

    Praying for you,