{iPhone Rewind} :: April

Not an uncommon look for him :)

We have really enjoyed our Koala Crates!

Enjoying the new book Grandma and Papa sent him in the mail...while waiting for brother and sister to go potty

This is where I live. Wandering goats...

With my old lady fur baby :)

Love my Snuggle Bug

Just relaxing on the blanket with Mama

So proud of his construction LEGOS

I love this little girlie!

Dude's got things to do...and he wants to make sure he looks good doing it.

He wants so badly to be like his older brother and sister. Every time we're in the bathroom, he will climb up on the stool to try and wash his hands.

Introduced the twins to Candyland! 

Daddy built a little tent for us to enjoy picnics and Daniel Tiger under :)

Reading time with all my babies

He wants ALL the balls

We have spent a A LOT of time dressing up :)

Siblings bonding over...toots. Yep. That's right. They sit and giggle about toots now.

So I definitely broke the side mirror on our Pilot while backing out of the garage. Not my finest moment. We were able to get a few other maintenance issues taken care of at the same time, so hopefully we're set for awhile...

We have loved all the amazing weather and have spent a lot of time playing outside!

Digging up dirt and pulling up grass/weeds has become his favorite pastime...

Maddie's favorite pastime has been collecting rocks...

He whips out the "cheese!" as soon as he sees my phone. But I gotta hurry to catch it :)

She kept saying she was Jasmine {from Aladdin...she's never seen the movie, just a picture in a princess book}. I think she's confused between Jasmine and a nun :)

Social Distancing :: Day 45

I feel like this week has felt full and even busy, despite our quarantine. There's never a lack of activity with 3 little ones, but I feel like we had enough variation in our routine this week to make it feel a little less mundane and daunting. It's crazy to think we are starting out 7th week in lockdown mode...

Working from Home

I am still working part time from home, so nothing has really changed for me in this season of social distancing. Many of my colleagues are now working from home, but otherwise, my role has been unaffected. This past week was crazy, because there were 2 board meetings for which I helped prepare, and it's the end of the quarter, so everything is naturally more busy. But I just do my best to work around the chaos, and the kiddos have learned to {sort-of} roll with it. As always, I'm just grateful that my job doesn't include a lot of video or conference calls :)

This week was also Administrative Professionals Day, and I received a sweet delivery from the executives! I am so thankful how the Lord provided this job 8 years ago. And all through a conversation at Starbucks! My boss's wife was a customer where Mike worked as a barista, and she was so kind to ask how she could pray for us. Mike mentioned the need for a closer job for me...and rest is history! It has been such a blessing for us, and I have loved serving alongside the executives. I truly have the utmost respect for the leadership, and I am just so thankful that I can still be a part of the team, even working remotely now for almost 5 years.

Quarantine Birthdays

Mike and my moms' birthdays are back to back, and we were able to celebrate them both in fun ways this year. We were able to do a drive-by birthday parade for Granny, since she is in town. Everyone loaded into their cars and drove by to drop off cake and gifts, and chat a bit from a distance. Granny was surprised, and loved getting to see her crew, even if she couldn't give them hugs.

We were able to do TWO birthday Zoom calls with my mom {the first was a last minute call since my brother had a change in his work schedule. The second was so my Dad could join and celebrate with us}. My mom didn't have any objections to talking with her people twice in a day :)

Since we couldn't be with/near my mom this year, we had some chocolate covered strawberries delivered to her door. A good way to provide a sweet gift, while abiding by all the social distancing rules. We'll just have to celebrate even bigger next year!

At Home Haircuts

Mike asked me to buzz his hair, which is something that I have done several times before. It's less scary than actually cutting it, but it still makes me nervous every time. It's why I have so much anxiety about cutting my boys' hair. I envision chili bowl haircuts, or mullets, or something equally terrifying. Hence, Aiden's crazy hair :)

Maddie's hair had gotten pretty long, and I somehow felt more confident in trimming her hair. I guess I thought mistakes on her hair would be less noticeable?? So I set her up to watch Daniel Tiger and set to work. Turns out it's not quite as hard as I imagined it to be, and {thankfully} mistakes are less noticeable. Granted, I only meant to give her a trim, and she now has a proper little girl short-hair cut, but it definitely could have been worse haha. Thankfully no one can look too closely right now. And she doesn't sit still long enough for you to really see it anyway. And yes...those layers in the back were on purpose. {Not really, but we're going with it}.

We waited a week and then I decided it was finally time to buzz the boys' hair. I figured that would be less likely to mess up, that we could live with buzz cuts for awhile. Eli was up first, ready to have a haircut "just like Daddy's." 

And then it was Aiden's turn. He didn't do so well with his first or second haircuts, which is partly why we have just been letting it grow. And then we discovered his adorable red curls, which is another reason I have not wanted to cut his hair. But alas...it was WAY past time. Poor kid couldn't see and ended up a sweaty mess after being outside for 5 minutes. And this time, he just hopped up onto the chair and sat {pretty} still while Mike ran the clippers through his hair. He wasn't phased by it at all! I think he was so proud to be sitting in the chair like a big boy, and having a haircut like Daddy and big brother.

And I basically haven't stopped crying since...because he looks SO BIG. Like a proper little boy, not my little baby with the mess of curls on his head. I'll just be over here, crying, waiting for those precious curls to grow back...

Why I Wear Orange

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week {April 19-25, 2020}. While we are now parenting on the other side of infertility, it's still a topic that is close to my heart. It's part of our story, and the journey we walked before we became parents through Embryo Adoption. There has certainly been healing since we were walking the dark days of infertility, but the scars still remain. 

One in eight couples experience infertility. So even if it's not an experience you have personally faced, you probably know someone, even if they don't make it known to you. Facing the news that you will not be able to build the family that you dreamed about the way you had hoped is devastating and life changing. Even "on the other side," I have to admit that surprise pregnancy announcements still sting a little, and I still grieve the loss of our own genetic child. The pain is not as raw now as it once was, but I still feel the ache in my heart sometimes. And I don't think that will ever go away. 

While you're walking through infertility, you can feel so alone. It seems as though everyone around you is getting pregnant, and so easily. Why does it seem so hard for you? But month after month passes by, and you are constantly left with a negative pregnancy test, wondering when {and even more scarily, if} it will ever be "your turn." 

One of the things I am grateful for in our journey is all of the people we talked with who could say "me too." There is something comforting and empowering knowing, for a fact, that you are not alone. Don't get me wrong...it still felt lonely. Because the people closest to me weren't walking the same road and couldn't relate, no matter how hard they tried. But along the way, we met so many couples that felt the sting of infertility, struggled with the financial aspect of building a family, and just simply understood what it meant to be infertile. I am so grateful for those relationships, for the men and women who opened up their private lives to mere strangers, willing to share their story. 

And I pray every day that I can do the same for others. The Lord has placed numerous people in my life with whom I have been able to share our story. Even at the risk of being the weirdo stranger, I have reached out just to let them know they're not alone, and I am available to talk if they needed. Some people never responded, and I can understand that. Infertility is such an intimate thing. But the vast majority have responded, and I pray that our story has been an encouragement to them. I have prayed alongside countless couples, through their appointments and procedures or in their monthly waiting, and have had the privilege of grieving with them in their losses and rejoicing over the babies the Lord has provided. 

There are so many "unfair" things on the infertility road. It's unfair that you can't get pregnant, but your brother just has to look at his wife and BAM! they're pregnant. Again. It's unfair that you have to shell out thousands of dollars just to have a chance at getting pregnant. It's unfair that you do everything right, go through all the tests and procedures, only to miscarry. It's unfair that there is no insurance coverage for fertility treatments. It's unfair that you have to wait another month because you already depleted your savings, or your hormone levels aren't right, or you simply can't get the time off work to go to that appointment. And right now, I am thinking about and grieving with all the couples whose cycles, procedures, appointments have been cancelled because of all this COVID-19 mess. Just one more unfair thing on this road. 

So today, I wear orange for them. For all the couples still walking the heartbreaking and exhausting road of infertility. For the couples that just heard the life-changing diagnosis of infertility. For the couples grieving the loss of the family for which they hoped. For the couples exhausted from all the trying, the appointments, the procedures, the negative pregnancy tests. For the couples whose doctor appointments and procedures have been put on hold yet again. 

You are not alone. I see you, I grieve with you. And I'm "on the other side," hoping that you can hear me when I say that it gets better. This journey will definitely change you, but if you let it, it will make you stronger. This won't always be your life. You will be ok.

Social Distancing :: Day 40

Day 40. There's talk of re-opening things in phases, but we haven't heard any final details, or really seen any consensus. Whatever ends up happening, I know we {our family} will be sheltering in place for a little longer than most people anyway, so it will be interesting to see how things play out over the coming weeks.

I was able to sneak out for a quick meet-up with Laura at Sonic {6 feet of distancing, in our own vehicles, of course}, and it really did my soul good to actually see her in person. I had to pick up a curbside order after that, and it was not so good for my soul to see the lack of social distancing and responsible mask/glove-wearing. I was pretty appalled at how much blatant cross-contamination was happening...there really was no point in wearing the gloves/masks at all. Thankfully I didn't have to touch or be near anyone, but it didn't give me much hope of safely re-opening things in the coming weeks...

10 Year Date-iversary

This past weekend, Mike and I celebrated our 10 year First-Date Anniversary! Ten years ago {on the 19th}, Mike and I went on our very first date. It's crazy to think how far we have come, how much has happened since that very first date. I had originally wanted to re-create our first date for this anniversary, but quarantine. So we'll have to re-create it another time. For now, we were just able to reminisce over that time, where we had dinner at Cafe Brazil, then sat and talked over coffee at Firewheel Mall. I was nervously quiet, and he talked nervously...and yet, here we are, all these years later. I'm so thankful he asked me out, and wasn't scared off by my lack of social interaction at the time :)

Outside Time

When the stay-at-home orders came through, we ordered a basketball goal for the kiddos. It was on our list of fun new spring/summer items anyway, so we figured it was a good time for it. It finally arrived, and the kiddos have loved getting to play "basketball shoot." Turns out, Eli is a pretty decent shot! It's a fun little addition to our outdoor activities, and it's fun to watch them play.

Granny had this giant soccer goal in her backyard, but because no one was getting any use out of it, she thought we could enjoy it instead! We have had lots of fun kicking around the soccer {and beach} balls.

Toddler School

We have continued our semester of Toddler School, and so far it is still going well. We haven't been able to do the fun field trips I had originally planned for this spring, but I am glad that I had most of the supplies on hand already. I have only had to adjust our plans slightly, which is nice.

Art Class :)

I get these little canvas/paint/brush sets at the Dollar Tree, and Eli and Maddie LOVE them!

Seeing how a bug sees

My little cutie bug :)

Missing Extended Family

We have definitely been missing extended family. It's normal for us to Skype with my parents, because they don't live in town. But even that hasn't felt like enough, mostly because we have already had to cancel a visit from them, and we're not sure what the planned summer visits will look like either.

We miss our weekly Granny and cousin play dates too. We have been Skyping or doing Zoom calls with them too, but Granny and Grumpz came by for a quick drive-by visit to drop off a few things. It was so heartbreaking when Eli asked "why didn't they come inside our house?"

It's sad to be so distanced from family and friends right now. But we're thankful for technology, and we're thankful that everyone we know right now is safe and healthy. And we're thankful that our only "struggle" right now is having to stay home and be a little inconvenienced.