Saturday, April 25, 2015

Infertility :: Wait

I came across this poem when reading Hannah's Hope. It brought so much encouragement and peace to my heart, and I wanted to share it with you here.

By Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied.
I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why.
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future, and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me 'wait'?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking; I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair; defeated and taut
And grumbled to God; "So I'm waiting, for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,
Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

"All you see I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust, just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence was all you could see.

"You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late in the night;
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for that loved one o'ernight could come true,
But the loss! if you lost what I'm doing in you.

"So be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of still...wait."


There were too many days in this struggle that I didn't want Jesus, I wanted a baby. Or I wanted Jesus just enough because I knew He was the only One who could give me a baby. Oh to grace...He gently led and comforted and drew me to Him.

I pray that in my waiting I might know the depth of the beat of my God's heart...


  1. Thanks for sharing this and your honesty in the struggle. I know it's a long, not fun road, but I KNOW God is working in you and drawing you to Him and praying you continue to know Him more through it all. Love you friend!

    1. Thank you sweet friend. Part of how God is working is showing me the blessing of sweet friends like you, who constantly love, encourage, and push me to seek Jesus, no matter how hard it is. Love you!

  2. Thanks for sharing this. I am going through something similar, but with marriage. It's funny how easy it is to look to whomever has what you desire and feel that bitterness creep in. Attending wedding after wedding, watching everyone else go through that entire process, and still wanting and waiting. Maybe it will help you to remember that you do have the blessing of a great husband, while many others are still waiting for that blessing. I know it has helped me to read your struggle and remind myself to try and find contentment in my current situation, just as you are striving to do. I kind of feel like there's no good way to word that, because both situations are hard, but hopefully you know what I mean. I am also waiting for something that frankly may never happen, and it's really hard to trust and accept that.

    1. Thanks Rachelle- I DO know what you mean :) The waiting is always hard, whatever the circumstance. Each pain is unique, but how awesome that we serve a God who enters into BOTH situations to comfort, heal, and give grace. While it's not always easy to see or trust it, God's ways are always better than ours, and all we can do is keep pursuing Jesus. I pray that He uses our waiting to draw us closer to His heart and help us love others better.