Friday, January 22, 2010

Craziness, Confessions, and Comfort...

Sorry I have been gone for so long...and this is just a quick post to say that things are super crazy and it may be another week or two before I write a real post. I am feeling slightly overwhelmed right now, and just don't have much time to breathe. But I wanted to take a few minutes to offer a confession and some encouraging verses God has given me in recent days...because how real/transparent is it to only write about the good things? :)

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the schedule; it's better to be busy than have nothing to do, right? Everyone faces quarterly workloads and deadlines. And I knew this semester was going to be crazy because I am still finishing out old commitments while taking on new ones. God is doing good things, it's just a season where I am running at full speed. So now for my confession- haha. Yesterday I let my flesh overrule and let the stress and frustrations of the day get ahold of me :( Ever had one of those days when the frustrations just don't seem to end? When you don't get a single thing done on your to-do list, not because you were lazy, but because other people kept you in meetings all day just to give you more things to add to your to-do list? When that co-worker just can't seem to be nice to you and chooses to be rude when you just want to say hello? So when she is rude again, you act like a child and stomp away? When you get your electricity bill and realize that it skyrocketed again for the second month in a row, spend 15 minutes waiting to talk to someone at the electricity company, only to find out that you have to check the meter yourself, which just happens to be located behind prickly bushes and are completely indecipherable? And you take out your frustration on the poor service representative on the phone...when you know you are being a bad witness, but just want someone to know how upset you are? When your sandpaper people choose to be extra annoying on your already bad day? And you give them an "eat dirt and die" look instead of loving them like you are supposed to? When you call your mom to vent and complain for an hour instead of asking her how her day was? When your sweet girls are disappointed with you because you just didn't have time to have an hour conversation with each of them that week? And you can't even apologize because you are so self-focused that you feel they are asking too much of you anyway? When you have had not nice thoughts run through your head all day long and you just can't seem to stop them? When you love your dog, but realize she has eaten all of your good black socks that you need for work? When, at the end of the day, you realize that you were such a miserable representation of Christ that all you can do is cry? Ever had one of those days?

In one word, yesterday = FAIL. Instead of acting in the Spirit, I acted in the flesh. I let my frustrations dictate my actions, and I couldn't be more disappointed with myself. Needless to say, I had a lot of confessing to do last night. Sigh. I am so thankful for a God who is patient and forgiving, who picks me up when I have fallen, and who continues to encourage and love me despite how ridiculous I can be. Today is a new day, and I can choose to walk in the power of the Spirit.

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." - Psalm 86:15

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior…” - Isaiah 43:1-3

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness!" - Lamentations 3:22-23


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