So I have officially gone into lockdown study mode. Ok- so maybe not quite lockdown yet (I am blogging right now and therefore not studying), but the pressure is definitely on. I do in fact intend to hibernate next weekend before the big day- lame, I know. But I have exactly 11 days left (eek!) until my next CPCU exam. My thought several weeks ago when I registered for the exam was that I would want to have it done before Thanksgiving. The shorter my study time gets, the more I wish I had opted for some more time...but I know that when I sit down for turkey dinner, I will be thankful the exam is behind me :)
This is the 2nd of 8 exams (yes, count them: 8) that I have to take to earn the CPCU designation for my job. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this particular insurance industry designation...it's kind of like receiving a masters in insurance. Are you impressed? LOL- don't be! I only say that to highlight how intense these exams are. They are certainly no walk in the park; it's like I am back in college. They give you 3 hours to take the exam for a reason. And I have to take 8 of them. Doesn't that sound super fun? ;)
With work being so crazy the last couple of months, my studying has been virtually non-existent. So now the countdown begins...I would appreciate any and all prayers as I prepare for this exam. The last thing I want to be doing when I come home from work is studying, but in 11 short days I can enjoy my free evenings again. Until then, please pray for focus and good retention, fruitful study time and good memory recall, and perseverance throughout the process.
My friend Lindsey shared this song with me tonight and I thought the words were so powerful. Scary, convicting, and powerful. It's really heavy on the heart, but there is so much truth in the lyrics- definitely a song that makes you think. We have a real enemy who "prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)
Just a warning that some of the images are intense and graphic. The lyrics are below if you just want to listen to the song instead of watching the video.
In the Words of Satan (by The Arrows)
I've been here since the beginning
Know exactly how you work
I know all of your cravings
Know what makes you go berserk
Been lying from the start just to make you play a part
In my infinite rebellion against the Father God
Hate everything He is
And I make you hate Him too
Make you hate Him with your actions it's so easy for me to do
'Cause you like it...Sin feels good for the ego...
You love it...Oh, come on baby let your hair go
And all the time, I'm winding you up
Like my perfect little puppet
You're my favorite robot, welcome to the show
But I'm watching you and all of hell is with me too
Helping me make my lies look true
Oh and there is a lie that works for everyone, everyone
A lie that opens your hearts so I can get me some
More of your free will
I'm winding you, winding you
Give me the control that's why I'm telling you
Selling you- Anything- Everything
Appealing to your human way of being
And I use it all against you to just keep your eyes
From seeing past the life you're living
Past the moment you're in, past the pleasure of your sin
Or the cigarette you're smoking
Choking on your lust
I'll make you drunk with pride
So deeply spun into my system that you won't see the light
Never mind that I'm drowning you
I keep deceiving you...
'Cuz I don't tell you bout the God in heaven
Who loves you, who yearns for you
I don't tell you bout the freedom of forgiveness and truth
Why would I tell you? Why would I tell you the truth?
Or I'll say that millions of years ago an accident exploded
And you're the result of this cosmic unknown
With no real purpose, created for no real intent
The reason for your living is just coincidence
So all the remains is what you can gain
Whatever meaning you attach to your days you decide
Mmm, but I help you recognize important things in life
Introducing money, it's the root of all, evil they say so
I attach your self worth to the salary you're paid,
Be a slave to your property
Your jewelry, your cars and things
Advertise that lie up on the TV so you'll want that bling
Selling bit by bit the little pieces of your soul
Climbing up the ladder of economic control
Oh, the greed of man makes it so easy to pervert the Father's plan
Or I'll tell you...
There is a heaven but there's many ways to get in
Keep you so confused that you stay bound to your sin
Tell you there are many ways to the same God
Keep you distracted with your methods so your heart stays hard,
I'll make you think you've got spirituality,
But it's really just emotional alchemy
Oh, the vanity of self-idoltary I never let you see that it breeds
Hedonism! Whoo!
And it's the anthem of this generation
Come on, drink it, snort it, smoke it, swallow it
Chew on my illusion of freedom til you vomit it
And still I don't tell you
Bout the God in heaven
Who loves you
Who yearns for you
No I don't tell you
Bout the freedom of forgiveness and truth
Why would I tell you?
Why would I tell you the truth?
It's Daylight Saving Time again! It's time to "fall back" so don't forget to turn your clock back one hour before you go to sleep tonight. You can bet I will enjoy every minute of my extra hour of sleep ;)
One thing I really struggle with is taking my eyes off a seemingly difficult situation long enough to focus on God's provision and faithfulness. I tend to have "tunnel vision." I am extremely blessed and have tons of things to be thankful for, and yet I tend to have a short-term memory on the blessings the Lord has provided. Praise God for His Spirit and the conviction He brings with love and grace. Growing up, I remember countless times when I would be rattling off a list of complaints to my mom and she would patiently listen then oh-so-sweetly answer, "And I bet you can't find your socks either, right?" Of course at the time, I was just irritated with her response, but I am so grateful for her gentle reminder that God is good and my list of complaints was really just that: complaints. I aspire to be more like my mom- one of those "half-full" people. You know the kind. You may even be that kind. You tend to be irritating to those of us self-proclaimed realists who tend to be labeled "half-empty" people ;)
I am daily learning to focus more on my blessings and God's faithfulness, because He is so good to me- despite my selfishness and short-term memory. Part of the process is writing down how the Lord has been faithful...it's a discipline I have been working on in an attempt to improve my "tunnel vision." It's amazing how your perspective changes when you take your eyes off yourself :) For those of you "half-full" people who are already good at this...be patient with the rest of us and patiently encourage us to the light...
One thing I struggled with last year was the 4 months of unemployment and letting go of my own dreams/plans for event planning. And yet, God was faithful to provide during that time without a job, and then to provide a good job with an amazing boss and wonderful co-workers. And He has taught me so much in the last year about contentment, surrender, and trust. While the surrender process was difficult, and at times painful, I praise God for it and wouldn't change it- even if I was offered my (previous) dream event planning job today.
While 2009 was the year of unemployment, 2010 has been the year of unexpected expenses. From medical bills to car repair expenses (like today, I have to replace my windshield because a rock kicked up on the highway and cracked it to the point of replacement = awesome). Instead of complaining or getting frustrated, I want to take my seemingly difficult circumstances and re-focus my attention on God's goodness and faithfulness. [Side note: I say "seemingly" difficult because I recognize that I don't have real struggles in light of all the suffering around me. Hence, the need to escape my "tunnel vision"] I have been reminded in the last few weeks how truly blessed I am to even have a job in this down economy. And I am thankful that I have a car that is paid off and that is a reliable source of transportation. I am part of a very small percentage of people in the world that has access to healthcare, and I praise God for His constant provision for my bills.
And as if that wasn't enough, I was reminded this morning how absolutely merciful the Lord has been to me- to separate unemployment and unexpected expenses by a year and not allow them to occur at the same time. That seems like such a simple thought, and yet how quickly I could take these things for granted...how great is my God!
Does anyone else struggle with "tunnel vision"? Perhaps it's just me :) Regardless, I encourage you to reflect on God's goodness and faithfulness to you. He alone deserves all glory, honor, and praise!
Ok- I just have to take a second to brag on my bears...have you heard about the ruckus they're causing?!? :) After winning the Homecoming game against Kansas State (which made them bowl eligible for the first time since 1995), bears across the nation were celebrating the longed-for victory. Beating Texas this past weekend was just fun icing on the cake! I just love the headlines:
"You gotta 'bowl'ieve it"
"K-State can't slow Baylor"
"Bears outduel K-State to gain bowl eligibility"
"Baylor shows it's for real by turning tables on UT"
"Bears beat Horns, stay atop Big 12 South"
"With upset of Texas, BU still baffling non-believers"
"Baylor stuns Texas, as Horns fall to .500"
We are now ranked 5th in the Big 12 and 21st in the BCS. I am so proud of my bears, and I am really looking forward to cheering them on as they take on the Aggies in a couple of weeks.
