Embryo Adoption Awareness Day

November 25th is Embryo Adoption Awareness Day! :)

Today is a day we can raise awareness and share our story of Embryo Adoption, the beautiful way the Lord chose to grow our family. We have been amazed at how the Lord has used our specific story to educate and encourage others, and it has been such a privilege to pray alongside other couples who have chosen to pursue Embryo Adoption. 

I am starting to do some research on the donor conceived perspective, as many of these children are becoming adults, processing their stories. Since our journey to building our family has come to an end, we are now in the thick of raising donor conceived children. An as the kiddos grow and start piecing together their story, I have been praying for the right words to describe their story and answer their questions. I came across an article from the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center, listing 12 questions that embryo adoptees want answered. Since we have 3 adoptees, I thought I would {sort of**} answer those questions today! :)

**I won't be answering all of these questions directly, as many of them are personal. But I will try to provide answers about the information we have, and why this information might be helpful to an adoptee**

1. What are my genetic parents' first and middle names?

We do have first names for their donor parents, J&J. We also have photos. Since donor eggs were used in the IVF cycle, the donor parents include genetic dad and his wife. Genetic mom is the egg donor. {See also #4}.

2. Do I have any genetic siblings?

Yes! Eli, Maddie, and Aiden are all full genetic siblings, but they also have a full genetic brother {age 9} and sister {age 6}.

3. What are the first names of my genetic siblings?

We do have first names for their genetic siblings, A&E. We also have photos from 5 years ago.

4. Were donor eggs or sperm used in my conception?

The donor parents used an egg donor in their IVF cycle. It was an anonymous donation, so we do not have a name or photo of the genetic mom, but we do have medical information and a personal questionnaire that she filled out about herself. 

5. Why did you choose my genetic parents?

We prayed over each of the matches that came to us, and we said yes to J&J because we felt like the Lord wanted us to match with them! They said that their decision to donate their embryos through the Snowflakes program was one of the easiest decisions they had made as a couple. Because of the hardship they faced in building their family, they wanted to help another couple facing the same challenges. When we saw their profile, we knew we had the right match!

6. How long was I frozen?

You were all frozen on March 30, 2009. Eli and Maddie were thawed/transferred on February 26, 2016, so they were frozen for just shy of 7 years. Aiden was thawed/transferred on December 12, 2017, so he was frozen for 8 years, 8 months.

7. Does anyone else in my genetic family know about me?

I actually don't know the answer to this question. We have a semi-open relationship with the genetic family, which means that we agreed to email contact only, through our agency. So we do not interact directly with the genetic family. My hope and prayer is that the genetic parents share the yearly updates/photos of our kiddos with their kids, and that one day we can open up more contact.

8. Will I ever get to meet my genetic family?

We really hope so! As mentioned in #7, we have limited contact with the genetic family right now. But at the time we signed contracts, they were open to possibly having more contact in the future, depending on the needs and desires of the kids. So we have been and will continue to pray that there is an opportunity for meeting them in the future. At the very least, they should be able to meet when they are adults, as they have enough information to find each other.

9. Where does my genetic family live?

They actually live in Virginia {!}. We don't know anything beyond that, and assume they still live in the state and haven't moved, but we do not have that information. 

10. What traits did I inherit from my genetic parents?

Genetic mom has auburn hair, so Aiden gets that from her. His {and Eli's} blue eyes come from genetic dad. Maddie's hazel eyes come from genetic mom, and the blonde/light brown hair come from genetic dad. We'll have to see how height/build come into play :)

11. Are there any inherited medical concerns I should know about?

We have medical history for both genetic mom and dad, even though genetic mom was anonymous {which is so very important!}. So we had a good picture of any possible health concerns when we adopted the embryos. And since we have contact through our agency, we are confident that we could obtain additional information if any specific medical concerns arose.

12. What should I call my genetic parents?

We would want to have an open discussion with our kiddos about this, but right now we refer to them as genetic mom and dad, or just simply their donor family. If the time ever came for them to meet, we would encourage them to call them by their first names. 

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We knew that we wanted to have an open adoption so that we would be able to answer questions like these. There are still several unknowns, and we will have to navigate questions as they come. But we are grateful that we have access to information so that we can share as much with our kids as they want to know.

If YOU have questions regarding Embryo Adoption, the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center is an excellent resource. You can also learn more about our specific journey, here on the blog. We will forever be grateful for this amazing way to build a family, and we love sharing our story!