Please Pray for My Cousin

Today I went to see my cousin Jessica in the hospital. She has been sick all week and the doctors cannot figure out what is wrong. We do know that she has Osteomyelitis, an infection in the bone. But they don't know where it came from. They are baffled because nothing seemed to precipitate the infection; it's almost as if it just appeared. They have been running all kinds of tests to try to figure out what is going on. When I went to see her today, she seemed in good spirits. She is still in a lot of pain and wants to go home, but she was smiling and joking and even said she was feeling better. She will be having surgery tonight where the doctors will go in to where the infection is to see if they can identify it. Hopefully they will have a better idea of how to treat her. Please pray that the surgery goes well, that her fears will be calmed, and that the doctors will be able to determine what is making her so sick.

Midnight Chat and an Ice Cream Cone

I got home from spending a week in Los Angeles for another program on Saturday. My flight got in at midnight, and since my brother now lives in Dallas (yay!!!), he was able to pick me up.

[Quick side note: My brother now lives in Dallas because he is going to be starting classes in the fall at Dallas Baptist University. I am so proud of him for taking the step to move out on his own and start heading toward his goals/dreams. He will be studying kinesiology, and he is super excited about what God has planned for him! It has been such a blessing to see how much he has grown and matured over the last year. God is working in his heart and is molding him every day into the man he was created to be. I am such a proud older sister!!!]

Ok. So back to before…because I hadn’t had much sleep and was somewhat delirious, I got us turned around after leaving the airport and I didn’t know how to get home. LOL. Sad, I know. Anyway, long story short, because we went the long way home, we were able to talk and catch up, which was really awesome. He got to tell me about the exciting new things that were going on in his life- about making the move to Dallas, finally being on his own for the first time and what that feels like, etc. We stopped at a McDonald’s for ice cream cones and had the best of conversations. I got to vent to him about all the frustrations I had pent up from the past week, mainly my disappointment in people. It’s something that he is able to relate to, since he has dealt with people disappointing him a lot in recent months. It’s hard, because some people who disappoint us, we really should expect it because we can’t hold them to the same standard that we hold ourselves. And yet, it’s still seems just as disappointing when they do something out of character or even just outside of common decency and moral ethic.

It has had me thinking in recent days about how far away from moral integrity we as a society really are. A white lie or a lie by omission is no big deal anymore. You are labeled as judgmental or harsh if you point it out as a lie, no matter how small. People sacrifice their morals and integrity and don’t blink twice. The mentality of “win at all costs” is prevalent, and I have seen it on a whole new level in recent months. Despite the fact that the people who have recently disappointed me are not held to the same standard of righteousness, it still leaves me floored and wondering what the heck is going on. The fact that people can get away with the things they do, and there is nothing we can do…it’s the most irritating thing in the world. And for a period of time, it seems as though the bad guys win. Of course, in the end, I know they won’t. But by the world’s standards they do, and that is still a frustrating thing to watch and endure.

My brother pointed out to me how important it is that I am different in a world that accepts such a disregard for ethics and morality. Do people really look at me and see something different? Because if they don’t, then I have some serious re-evaluating to do. I am called to a higher standard…which includes praying for my enemies. I can’t tell you how hard it was to pray for my enemies this past week. And yet, God still asks me to. And so I pray for them. I surrender my life to the sovereign God of the universe, because He is ultimately in control, and has the final say in this world (thank goodness!). I commit my life to His ways and work toward becoming righteous and holy in His sight. Because it’s not until I do that that people can really see a difference. The light of His Son is the only thing that sets us apart in such a dark world.

Airport toll to pick me up at the airport...$2.00

Extra gas because I got us lost...$10.00

McDonald's Ice Cream Cones...$1.50

Chatting with my brother and gleaning from his wisdom...priceless :)

I Don't Like Being Sick

So I have been sick for the past 3 days and it has been no fun. I finally went to the doctor today and found out I got hit twice: I have an upper respiratory infection and a stomach virus. Isn't that nice? Not only did I have to go off and get sick...I had to go off and get doubly sick. Haha. Blah.

 

My poor dog feels so neglected. She can't understand why I have been home the past 3 days and not wanted to play with her. She gives me the most pathetic looks, like "Mom, what's wrong? Why don't you want to play? Let me lick your face and make it all better." LOL. Gotta love her...

 

So, I have decided that being sick without my mom around is a bummer. I am 23 years old, sick, and just want my mommy. LOL. I can't help it. I have had a few people here offer to help...which I appreciate so much. But somehow, it's just not the same. Having mom 5 hours away made me realize that I am a real adult now. Why it took me this long (and me getting sick) to realize this, I don't know. Maybe I am just missing family. I am obviously completely capable of taking care of myself; it's just that I would rather mom take care of me when I am sick. There's just something about having mom around that seems to make you feel better.

 

So here's to you mom. For all you did when I was a kid to make me feel better. For staying up late with me, for rubbing my tummy, for holding my hair back, for knowing just the right things to make me feel better. Moms go unthanked for things like that...so thank you, mom.

What a Week!

I spent the last week in Denton at Eagle U and it was awesome! This is my second program to coordinate and it was even better than the first! It helps when you know a little more of what is going on and aren't running around clueless the whole time. There's something about being away at a program...I can't really describe it, but it's an amazing feeling. The students were so great, the Team Leaders even better, and I couldn't have been happier with how the week turned out. Even the craziness and stress aside...it was all worth it when I got to hear the testimonies of so many students and how their week at Eagle U had changed their life.

From the outside looking in, you might think that a life changing experience can't really happen in one week at one camp. But witnessing it for myself, I can tell you that it happens. It's amazing to see the transformation that occurs from the time the students step off the plane to the end of the week closing ceremonies. To witness students gain more confidence and come to the realization that they are worth so much is such an incredible high. I had more of an opportunity to spend time with students, which was something that I missed from the last program. Having some time to sit down and talk with some of them, to have a glimpse into their life and maybe offer a few words of encouragement, or lend a listening ear...it makes my heart smile. And then I remember why I am here...

One thing that kind of hit me this week was the reality of being young in my profession. Just dealing with other people in my profession, I was hit with how inexperienced I really am. It's hard to "compete" with older people, people who have been doing this longer than I have. It was interesting, as I had to stand up for what little I do know in my limited experience. Those nasty feelings of inadequacy threatened to creep in, and were even able to at one point in the week. I never want to come across as a know-it-all, but I am smart and have common sense. So when someone older than me in my profession talks down on my because of my limited experience, I really struggle with that. First, I hate being patronized more than anything in the world. You really want to make my blood boil, then patronize me. Second, I hate being wrong. Haha. That sounds bad, but I work really hard to do a good job, so being wrong is like sudden death to me. And third, because I do try so hard, criticism can sometimes cripple me. Not all criticism is bad, though. I need it to grow and to learn, because I have SO much to learn. It's just hard to receive when the person delivering the criticism is hardly interested in my professional growth. I know I need to grow a thick skin and learn to deal, but I think there will always be a part of me that will be bothered by it. Oh well. Live and learn. My experiences this week were definitely an opportunity to let Christ's love shine through me.

What other news....oh yes. My mom had surgery this morning to have her gallbladder removed. She has had problems with it for several years, but has put off actually addressing it. She went to the doctor this past week and he told her that she could either voluntarily have the surgery or end up having an emergency surgery- it was her choice. Thankfully, she chose to volunteer. The surgery went well and she is recovering now, so if you could just pray that her recovery is quick with limited pain, that would be great!

I also would like to ask for prayers for my cousin K. She has been struggling with an eating disorder for several months and things are not getting any better. She was placed in a treatment facility and has fought the doctors every step of the way. She has finally reached a healthy weight so they are releasing her, but she has so much still going on emotionally, that I am really scared for her. I am pretty sure she just gained the weight so she could get out, but has no intentions of keeping the weight once she gets home. I have no idea what is going on with her, but she is a very scared little girl who is hurting more than anyone can really understand right now. Toward the end of her stay at the treatment facility, she had begun cutting herself and had apparently carved "too fat" in her stomach. The thought of her doing that just makes me sick to my stomach with worry for her. There are so many deeper issues going on than just self-image.

I can't even imagine what she is experiencing internally. Self-image is not something I (thankfully) ever struggled with. I grew up with my mom and dad telling me I was beautiful and special. So to have someone who places so little value on herself is really hard for me to understand. She is beautiful and she can't see it. She is worthy of amazing things and is more special than she can ever know and all she sees is a fat, ugly, worthless person. It makes me cry just to type this. My heart is so burdened for her. Of course, I can tell her how beautiful she is, how important and special she is, but she can't hear it right now. Please pray for her. She is only 12 years old, and is dealing with adult issues that she will more than likely carry with her for the rest of her life. Satan has a firm grip on her, and only God can heal her of her pain. She doesn't know Christ, and she desperately needs Him now more than ever. Please pray that her heart is receptive to receiving God's love for her. Please pray that she can see through the lies and deception and see herself as the precious daughter of the King she is.

On a little happier note, I got to spend the day with the sweet Nelson family! Nancy was my soccer coach in high school and she and her husband Jason have remained sweet friends over the years. I had the opportunity to pray for their first daughter Ellie, and now their precious son Topher. I got to meet Topher today, and it was definitely a day to praise God! To see the faith walk that this family has been through is such an amazing testimony to God's grace, love, generosity, and abundant provision. I praise God for the sweet blessings He has given me in each one of the Nelsons. They are the picture of the family I want some day.

Missing My Baby

So it's official...I am obsessed with my dog. That's so sad, but I just can't help it. I had to drop her off at my parents about a week ago because I was in a friend's wedding (puppies weren't invited ), and I will be away at Eagle U for the next 2 weekends. Which means...I had to pack Sasha up and ship her to grandma and grandpa's house. It's only been a week and I miss her so much!

Don't get me wrong...having extra time in the mornings to sleep in is nice (I have extra time that is usually dedicated to taking her out, feeding her, etc.) I am able to get SO much more done around the apartment (things that normally would take me 3 times as long because I usually have a "helper"). But those luxuries aside...it's too quiet around here! It's weird coming home to an empty apartment. It's weird not having "help" getting ready in the morning. She's always happy to see me, and I am pretty much her entire world. I miss my running buddy. I miss my cuddle buddy (because yes, even though she is 65 pounds, she is the biggest cuddler I know!)

This is a depressing post. Haha. I think this past week has made me realize how much I love my dog. It's funny how attached you can get to a four-legged fur ball. She's my sweet baby and these next 2 weeks are going to be so hard without her.