Well, I am officially 40! :)
I am so thankful for a sweet birthday and for reaching such a big milestone! Mike and the kids made the day special, and I was so thankful for all of the birthday wishes from family and friends throughout the day.
Unfortunately, I ended up sick {hello 40?}, so we are rescheduling my birthday dinner. And I get to plan a fun trip later this year, so the birthday festivities continue!
I had not dreaded 40 in the traditional sense. I don't necessarily fear getting older; I am actually grateful for the growth and maturity that have come with the years of aging. I just don't fret about the things that my 20 year old self used to, because they just don't matter the same as they did then. While my physical body may feel every bit of its years {and more}, I am thankful for the advantage of hindsight and wisdom and experience that comes with aging. I can appreciate feeling more comfortable in one's own skin, knowing more of who you are, and feeling confident in the life you live.
That's not to say I have all of the answers and always feel confident in all of my decisions. I am currently in a season of unknowns {again}, not knowing what is around the corner, and still wrestling with what it looks like to trust the Lord. But in my years of walking with the Lord, I have gained the advantage of seeing His goodness and faithfulness on full display in countless situations, and I can walk in more confidence, simply because I have walked with Him longer.
That's a gift that I didn't have 30 years ago, when brand-new baby Christian Erin didn't know anything else but that she wanted to follow Jesus.
A gift that I didn't have 20 years ago, when growing Christian Erin was stepping out into the world and learning the reality of walking by faith and trusting her Savior.
A gift that I didn't have 10 years ago, when struggling Christian Erin was crying out for answers in the midst of another season of unknowns and grief and loss, trying desperately to hold on to the truths she knew when nothing around her made sense.
As I think back on 40 years of life, 30 years of walking with the Lord, I am just overwhelmed with gratitude for all that the Lord has done. For His goodness and faithfulness to me over the years, and for His patience and long suffering with me. It's really hard to put into words, so I will say is that I am entering my 40s just incredibly thankful.
As grateful as I am, celebrating on my birthday was still hard. There was a phone call that was decidedly missing from the day, and the reality of hitting a milestone he won't was really difficult to grapple with. So it was a bittersweet day, for sure. But I can still praise God for the gift of a new year, be thankful for each new day, and I can be thankful for how the Lord continues to take care of us, offering sweetness and grace in the midst of the tears.
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And as for that 40 Before 40 List...I kept thinking that I had plenty of time to check these things off. And then all of a sudden, I had 6 months left and not enough time at all! Oh well :)
But even when I made the list, I knew that some would be a bit of a stretch, a bit of a dream to cross off. And some of these items have become out of reach for varying life circumstance reasons. But that's ok. I was still able to cross a few off, and the Lord has been so gracious to me over the past decade, even without crossing some of these off. Even looking at the list now, I'm wondering why some of these were so important at the time. I guess it's just fun to have a list of things to think and dream about.
Finish a full year of hand lettering challenges - nope
Achieve and maintain remission for Crohn's - but does it count if I lost it right before my birthday?? Sigh.
Renew and use my passport - I don't even know where mine is...
Make a wise investment - I think buying our house should count
Take a photography class - the course is sitting in my inbox still...
Go on a train ride - does the steam train at Dollywood count?
Enjoy a fun girls' weekend away - this is coming!!
Take a self-defense class - nope
Go on a hot air balloon ride - haha nope
See the Grand Canyon - double haha nope
Read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - this should have been an easy one, such a missed opportunity!
Become flexible enough to do the splits - Ok. I actually tried this one for awhile. And then decided "why?"
Finish our baby clothes quilt - still on my "very much want to do" list
Hug a redwood - nope
Take a cooking class - nope
Complete a 9000 piece puzzle - I didn't realize how expensive these are haha
Enjoy a white Christmas - timing hasn't been right
Join a book club - I'm counting our women's summer book club, especially since I led it last summer!
Recreate a childhood photo - this one made me tear up...because I had plans to do this with my brother. I had the exact photo in mind too. Don't put stuff off, guys.
Release a floating lantern - I know the festival I want to go to. Just need to plan it and get a babysitter!
Serve in a new ministry - nope. I think I found the ones I'm supposed to be in for now.
Pay for a stranger's meal - nope
Watch the sunrise in a beautiful place - I think the hills of West Virginia are pretty beautiful.
Dip my toes in the Atlantic Ocean - not yet
Visit the 5 states bordering Virginia
Have a professional makeup lesson - nope
See a play - nope
Celebrate my 20 year friendiversary with Laura {2024} - again, such a missed opportunity!
Disciple a younger mom - I have tried, but nothing formal.
Write a children's book with my mom - nope. And what?
Undertake a home renovation project - does having our kitchen and floors redone count?
Finish and order our 13th year photo book - I am SO far behind on our family photo books...
Read the letter I wrote to myself to open on my 39th birthday...and write one to open on my 49th birthday - this was fun to read :)
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