My Crohn's is back. I mean, it never actually left, but my symptoms are back, and my disease is active again. Sigh.
I was blessed with remission from my Crohn's for a long time {almost 7 years}, probably longer than most people experience. The Lord allowed me to be pretty healthy, long enough so I could have my babies, and that alone is something for which to be incredibly grateful.
I started seeing a return of my symptoms about 6 or 7 months ago. At first, I ignored them, brushed them off as something else. Thankfully, the symptoms have not been severe, but they are undeniable. When you go several years without any symptoms, and then all of sudden start to see them again... that's kind of a scary thing. So when they kept occurring, I knew I couldn't ignore it anymore. I started tracking everything and went to see my GI again.
First step was routine bloodwork. That came back showing an iron deficiency {which may explain all of my headaches!}. It also showed that my C-reactive protein {CRP} was elevated, which is an inflammation marker. That just means I have increased inflammation somewhere in my body, so that alone doesn't point to a specific Crohn's flare, but it helps put all of the puzzle pieces together in the diagnostic process.
The next step was another colonoscopy. Not fun, but part of the process. I used Suprep again {better than GoLytely, in my opinion}, but this time didn't seem quite as simple. I did fine with my clear liquid diet, then started my prep. First dose wasn't too bad, but the second dose was really hard to get down. Maybe one day they'll make something that tastes better. Or is 100% tasteless.
All cleaned out and ready for my {third} colonoscopy
My last colonoscopy was when Eli and Maddie were 10 months old, almost 3 years ago, and it showed zero evidence of disease. At that time, my GI had said that if had been my first one, he would never have suspected Crohn's at all. Fast forward to now, and he found that my ileum {lowest part of small intestines} is ulcerated again. And he also found evidence of disease in my colon, which is new. So my original diagnosis was Crohn's Ileitis, but now it would be classified as Crohn's Ileocolitis. So not only is my disease active, it has spread. {Why not go big, right?} They gave me photos from my colonoscopy, and I cried when I saw them.
So what now?
The immediate concern is to reduce the inflammation and heal my intestines. So I will be taking steroids for the next month to address that. I will eat a low residue diet to give my insides the best chance at healing. And I will go back to see my doctor in a couple of weeks to discuss a new treatment plan.
Most likely, my Humira isn't working for me anymore, so I am looking at a change in medication. It's actually not uncommon, as most patients see about a 5-year effective life. I got almost 7 years, so it really was a good medication for me, while it lasted. We will confirm its effectiveness {or lack thereof} with the Prometheus diagnostic test {basically a test to show if I have built up any antibodies to my medication}. This is something that wasn't available when I was first diagnosed, so I am interested to see what it says.
Like I mentioned before, the Lord allowed me to have a good level of health for a long time. And I am so grateful for that. I have always tried not to take my health for granted, as I knew that it could change at any time. But I have to admit that this is really hard right now. I really didn't want to be back here. It's overwhelming to think about "starting over" again. With getting my insides healed, finding the right treatment plan, dealing with insurance, not knowing what lies ahead, not knowing if I will achieve remission again, and if I am able to, for how long?
It seems harder this time too, because now I do have kids. It's harder to be sick when you have 3 little people who need you all day. With the return of my symptoms in the last few months, I have had to share more about "Mommy's Crohn's" with them. Because they want to know why Mommy is in the bathroom again. They want to know why Mommy doesn't feel good. Y'all, I don't want to be the "sick mom." :(
I know we'll figure it out. The Lord will sustain us, He will grant us wisdom on the next best steps. And I know that the Lord will use this in some way to teach my kiddos too, at least I pray that He will. Whether it be empathy and compassion, or simply patience while they camp out in the bathroom with Mommy...because I don't have to do that alone anymore :)
So here we go again. I am thankful for a good support system, and I am thankful I don't have to walk this alone. I pray that the Lord grants wisdom and healing, but more importantly, that He uses this to grow my heart closer to His. He is good, and I trust Him.
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