Married Life, Day #195

THE LITTLE THINGS...

This may not be the case for everyone, but for me, I have found that it's the little things that really seem to matter and impact me the most. I don't need grand gestures all the time; the simple day to day things that Mike does to let me know he loves me are what really melt my heart. Just knowing that he was thinking about me and is paying attention to the little things that I enjoy, or feeling like I'm being protected or taken care of in some way...well, it just fills my love tank  :)

Whether it's remembering some of my favorite things to surprise me with...

...or waking up early with me (even though he doesn't have to be up yet) and then making my lunch for me. With a sweet note attached. Every day...

No really- I have a drawer full of lunch notes.

...or coming home to learn I don't have to clean the house because he's already done it, or coming home to my bed "turned down" for me because he knows it has been a long day...

...yep. It's the little things that make all the difference in the world.

In any relationship, there is talk of love languages and how you best feel loved and show love. If you are familiar with the 5 love languages, I happen to be Acts of Service and Quality Time (could you have guessed?) Mike happens to be Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. I actually think about these so-called "languages" a lot in our marriage. For me, words mean very little...not that they're not important, because they are. Hearing "I love you"or how Mike feels about me is definitely important to me. But at the end of the day, I want him to show me he loves me. My brain constantly thinks, "Actions speak louder than words. It's nice when you tell me that you love me, but I really know that you love me when you show me."

But while I may not value words as much, they're crucial for Mike. I constantly have to remind myself that it may be fine and dandy for me to be doing things to show him that I love him (which is my default and something easier for me, since I already speak that language). And don't get me wrong. Mike feels loved when I do things for him and when we spend time together. But at the end of the day, his brain constantly thinks, "It's nice that you did that for me, but it would mean so much more if you would tell me how you feel. Tell me that you're proud of me and why. And then be sure to hold my hand and hug me often."  :)

Please don't misunderstand me; I value the biblical description of love and how it calls us to act contrary to our flesh and put someone else before yourself.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. 

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

As Christ-followers, we experience the ultimate form of love in the sacrifice and redemption of Jesus. And it's only because of Him that we are even capable of loving others in a way that brings glory to His name. The 1 Corinthians description of love is certainly not saying, love this way only if it comes naturally to you or is easy. The beauty of this love is that it is selfless. It requires us to think beyond ourselves and truly consider others first.

But I also believe the Lord has uniquely wired our human hearts to give and receive love in practical ways. I really want to be able to speak Mike's love language. I want to be sure that I'm not always trying to love him the way that makes sense to me (which is often what I end up doing). Instead, I want to love him the way that fills his love tank. And the truth is, that takes prayer, work, and selflessness. It's easier to love someone in a way that makes you feel loved. It's much more challenging to love someone in a way that has nothing to do with you. Mike's a lot better at speaking my love language than I am at speaking his, so I have some work to do. I need some practice in order to become more fluent in his love language, if you will (Might as well use the play on words. Go with me, here.) The fact of the matter is that I love Mike and think he's the greatest. But I need to work on telling him that way more often than I do. So that is my challenge: become fluent in Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Because I want my husband to really know how much I love him.

A Revived Hobby

So I decided that I needed a hobby. Not because I have a mass amount of free time on my hands, because I certainly don't, but simply because I am missing being creative. With all of the wedding planning over, I haven't done much to express my creativity in awhile. I made a centerpiece for Christmas, but that's pretty much it. I'm not the most creative person (thank you Pinterest for revealing how absolutely devoid of craftiness I truly am), but I do enjoy a few creative outlets now and then. And since January is National Hobby Month (who knew?), I thought it was perfect timing.

There are tons of hobbies I would love to take up, but for right now I need one that is inexpensive, practical, and simple to do. So I landed on reviving an old hobby: CROCHETING. My mom taught me how to crochet when I was really young, and I really enjoyed it. Can't really say why I stopped a few years back...just got busy I guess. So I borrowed some needles and practice yarn from my mom and have picked it up again. Like riding a bike...sort of  ;)

It's inexpensive. Yarn doesn't cost much, especially if you catch sales and/or use coupons. The needles can be pricey, but once you have a few sizes in your toolbox, you're set to go. And there are tons of free patterns online too!

It's practical. You can make your own homemade scarf or hat. And don't forget about fun gifts for other people! Particularly all those baby-having friends of yours ;)

It's simple. I had the advantage of already knowing how to crochet and just had to practice a little to pick it back up. But once you get the hang of it, it's pretty simple. You don't have to think much, especially if you already know a pattern. There are a lot of great tutorials available for free online. Pinterest led me to a Crochet School website that seems pretty straight forward, but YouTube is also a great resource.

So my first project? A scarf. Because (a) it's winter, (b) I like scarfs, and (c) the pattern includes straight rows haha. I did change the original pattern a little (by adding extra rows) to make the scarf slightly wider, but I think it turned out alright for a first attempt. I even wore it to work yesterday.

(Please excuse the craziness that calls itself my hair)

Materials: 1.5 skeins of Loops & Threads Charisma Yarn in Espresso
Tools: Crochet Hook Sizes K and N, scissors
Total Project Cost: $4.50 (heck. yes.)

It's a fun hobby for now. I'm looking forward to starting my next project! :)

Home Church

Mike and I have been praying for opportunities to use our home in gospel-centered ways. From being a "home base" for neighborhood kids and Christmas parties to simply having people over for dinner and friendship, we want very much for our little home to be used for God's purposes. We are convinced the Lord led us to this specific little rent house in McKinney to accomplish great things for His glory. It's kind of fun that we are starting to see glimpses of that!

One specific opportunity we have been praying for is the chance to open our home for Bible study. Through the Lord's faithful provision of relationships and connections, we have been able to do just that. This week we hosted our first "Home Church" gathering! Not only has the Lord provided sweet friends and mentors to partner with us in this journey, He has also provided new friends who want to study with us and go deeper with Jesus.  It was exciting to see our living room full of people that the Lord had brought together. People that we didn't even know existed 6 months ago, but whom the Lord knew by name.

This first week was such a blessing and encouragement. We are excited about the gathering of both believers and (as Mike phrased it) "not-yet" believers to dive deeper into the Word, and we look forward to the weeks to come as we walk through the book of John together. Please pray for us as we lead this study. While yummy snacks and a welcoming home are important, they are not what stirs people's hearts or transforms lives. Please pray that we can be gracious and loving hosts, but more importantly please pray that the Spirit moves and that truth is made known. We know that there is an enemy who does not want to see a study like this happen, and who has already thrown in obstacles. So please pray for protection from spiritual distractions and attacks. We don't want to become a "club" of people, hanging out, doing the "Jesus" thing. We want to be an active, growing community of disciples. Please pray that people feel safe to ask questions and challenge each other to dig deeper and live differently. And above all else, please pray that Christ's name is proclaimed and glorified in our home.

And if you just so happen to find yourself in the McKinney area on a Wednesday night, come join us! There most likely will be guacamole and good discussion about Jesus :)

Jesus is Calling...

A new pretty cupcake calendar for the new year? Yes please! :)

I changed out my calendar at work this morning, and I have to say that my new cupcake-a-month calendar makes me very happy. But it also meant I was back to reality. Holidays and vacation time are over, and it is time to get back into the swing of things. But while "normal" life may be resuming, there is definitely a sense of a fresh start and new beginnings. I know, isn't that usually how a new year works? :)

I have never really been one to make new year's resolutions. It's not that I don't have goals, it's just that over the years, I have needed to shift my focus a bit. In the past, my goals have tended to be self-focused (in a bad way), and I spent a lot of time and effort seeking my own agendas and things I thought were important...only for the Lord to direct me otherwise. So I'm not against goals; goals are good to have. I just tend to feel constrained by resolutions made at the first of the year. That's probably weird, but I can't help it. So I typically skip the new year's resolutions, and just start new things and set new goals whenever the Lord lays them on my heart. It keeps my thoughts a little more focused, allowing me the freedom to wait on the Lord and follow His leading. Whatever works, right? ;)

With that being said (goals or not), there is undoubtedly something refreshing about the start of a new year. A fresh start and new beginnings. The last few months have been a whirlwind, and I feel as though I have been in survival mode. The transition away from friends and community and into a more intense work commute proved to be more difficult than I had anticipated. There were many days when this routine-loving (and somewhat routine-dependent) girl struggled to make it through without feeling like I was completely losing my mind. My heart became complacent, and I allowed my circumstances to dictate my attitude (in a negative way). I lost sight of my purpose and my blessings. And what is usually the case when I lack discipline and focus, my sinful heart bred frustration, discontent, a complaining spirit, and a prideful heart. Yuck. Double Yuck.

Enter my saving grace.

I praise God for His abundant (and absolutely undeserved) grace and mercy. That He doesn't allow us to continue in our sin, and that He disciplines those He loves (= me). That His Word is true and faithful, meant "for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." A few weeks ago, I started a study of the book of James with my sweet friend Laura. In many ways, she has been an unending source of encouragement to me. From listening to me complain and gently helping me recognize my sin, to lovingly walking through this transition time with me...the Lord has definitely used her to speak to me.

We have been walking through the book of James, and it has been like a salve for my soul. Partly because James has some strong and convicting words that I have long needed to hear, but mostly because I needed to be back in a consistent study of the Word. I have been praying for the return of a deep longing and hunger for His Word (because my confession is that I lost it for awhile), and He has been faithful to provide it.

I told Laura the last time we met to talk through our study that I feel as though a cloud has lifted. I can't tell you what has changed; nothing about my circumstances have changed. But I can tell you that it is a relief, accompanied by peace and hope, that I am certain comes only from the Lord. That's not to say that the days ahead won't be difficult; I will have to diligently seek the Lord and rely on Him to stay focused. But He has encouraged my heart and has provided the strength I need to face the days ahead with a renewed sense of purpose and hope.

In addition to studying James with Laura, I am walking through a Bible-In-A-Year plan. I actually haven't worked through a specific plan in several years, so I am excited to be purposeful in making it through the entire Bible in one year. This specific plan walks through 6 different sections of the Bible in a week (Poetry, Pentateuch, Old Testament History, Prophets, New Testament History, Epistles). It's a different approach that I am pretty excited about. For Christmas, my mom gave me a devotional written by Sarah Young called "Jesus Calling." It's a collection of words and Scriptures that Jesus laid on the author's heart. A little like when I wake up to whispers from God or He places a song on my heart. Her journey of transforming her prayer life into more of a dialogue (as opposed to a monologue) is written as if Jesus Himself is talking to you. Perfect for where I am right now.

The Lord has repeatedly brought to mind the following verses...

"Be still and know that I am God..."

Psalm 46:10

"Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!"

Psalm 105:4

So my charge for the coming weeks is to simply LISTEN. To relearn how to be in and experience the presence of God. Jesus is calling....I want to be ready to listen and hear His voice.

Walk With Me Through 2011...

2011 has certainly been a year to remember! :) I said that 2010 was life changing; this year has just been a continuation of that change. And I know there will be lots more change in the years to come. But it's all good change: some of it I prayed for, some I didn't expect. But all of it is in God's hands. I just pray I can walk humbly and remember to lean on Him through it all. Each year, I am more and more amazed by the blessings the Lord provides. And this post is always a good exercise for me to stop and realize all that the Lord has done...

In January, we began the wedding planning process. We had decided to hold off until the beginning of the new year so we could enjoy the holidays and truly enjoy the precious first days of being engaged. So when January hit, we got started right away! We picked a date, started talking through pre-marital counseling options, and tackled the budget/size/guest issues.

Dallas was hit by a huge ice storm in February. There was a lot of snow and ice, and I got a pass on jury duty and 4 days off work! The unexpected time at home offered me some much-needed rest. I was able do some wedding planning, reading, napping, and snuggling with my puppy. But it also afforded me some extended time in prayer and study in the Word. Which was restoring to my soul, since I had felt like my heart had been wandering a little. February also brought my first non-single birthday celebration and the decision to meet with Scott and Nicole for pre-marital counseling.

March was a bit of a whirlwind month. We were able to check off a lot of "to do's" from our wedding checklist: we completed our registry lists and chose our cakes, my wedding dress and shoes arrived, and we booked our honeymoon! I finally paid off my hospital bills (woohoo!) and celebrated my 2 year blogiversary. March turned sobering when a dear family friend was killed in a car accident. Dr. Chuck spent his life serving Jesus and the people he met, and the Lord reminded me that I needed to make my life count for the kingdom. I publicly shared how the Lord was calling me and Mike to plant a church in McKinney, and we also attended an Acts 29 bootcamp conference. While we are still at the onset of that whole process, I am amazed at all the Lord has already done in the short time we have been in McKinney.

Unfortunately, it wasn't an April Fool's joke when I found out that my identity had been stolen. Despite the un-fun revelation, there was a lot of things to look forward to, so naturally I began counting down toward all things wedding related :) Things seemed to be a bit crazy and overwhelming, both around the world and in my personal life, but I was repeatedly reassured of God's sovereignty and care for His own. Mike and I celebrated our 1 year dating anniversary and launched our new blog!

In May, things just got busier! Sasha and I moved out of my apartment and into my sweet (and gracious) friend Kelly's house. I learned that my Vitamin D deficiency worsened and my cholesterol was still elevated, which prompted a stockpile of Cheerios and the need for some supplements. For Mother's Day weekend, Mike and I headed to San Antonio to see my parents and to attend a fun couples shower that the BSF staff hosted for us. My brother graduated from DBU, and I got to spend a few days in Maine for a work trip. We found our sweet little house in McKinney, and I got to enjoy a fun night out for my lingerie shower!

June was what I like to call "wrap-up final details month." We got our marriage license, I had my makeup trial, and we had our final confirmation meetings with vendors. And the countdown began :) Mike headed to Mexico for his last mission trip with the youth group, and I had my own "lasts" with my beloved 20s group. We finished up our Bible study in the book of Acts, and I fulfilled my final leadership duties. So bittersweet. I made a trip to Chicago for work, celebrated Sasha's 4th birthday, and finally shared our engagement photos. The excitement was growing, and we were MORE than ready for July!

We finally made it to July: Wedding Month! Not much outside of wedding things occurred in July. While there were some last minute details to focus on in the days leading up to the wedding, I was really thankful for all the help I had to get things done early so I could just enjoy the fun festivities. We had our bachelor and bachelorette parties (respectively), with Mike hanging out with his guys for grilling and laughter, and me heading to Painting with a Twist with my sweet girls. Rehearsal Dinner was filled with sweet friends and family. And of course, I would personally say that July 15th was the highlight of the year :) We were so incredibly blessed on our wedding day...I am still living in the glow of the day haha. After we said "I Do," we celebrated with 2 wedding receptions before we headed to Cancun for our Honeymoon!

In August we began settling into married life in McKinney. I began my new commute to work, and Mike persevered in his search for a new job. We began meeting our neighbors, and even had some over for dinner. We said "see you soon" to our dear friend Laura as she moved to Nicaragua to begin her ministry there. We also saw the Lord provide in incredible ways for the In Chains documentary film project, which Mike's brother Bryan is heading up. I decided I wanted to freshen up my blog design and got a template over at Laura Jane Designs. My dad celebrated his 52nd birthday, and I was reminded of how incredibly blessed we are to have my job and my boss.

Our wedding photos arrived in September! And so commenced the endless blog posts of all things wedding-related haha. All but one of my posts in September was devoted to wedding pictures. And that one post was kind of sad when I described how we lost the top to our wedding cake (you know, the one you freeze and then open on your 1 year anniversary). While it was incredibly sad, and there were definitely tears shed, it was a good moment for me to realize how utterly out of control I had felt the weeks prior. Not in a bad way (if anything, in a good way!) but in a way that the Lord reminded me that He is in control... But there was still a lot going on in September...we headed to Austin for a friend's wedding, I started a BSF class in Garland, we had a an Open House for some friends and former ministry partners, and Mike got a job at Starbucks!

In October, I started feeling the weight of my new commute to work. Things were super busy at work, and there was even a period of several days when I never saw the sun haha. But the Lord offered some relief in a visit to see my family in San Antonio. It was our first trip to see my parents after the wedding, and it was good to see them. We actually got to see my parents twice in October, because they made a trip up to Dallas a couple weeks later. I headed to Wausau, WI for a fire training school, got to spend a day at the Texas State Fair with Laura, received word that I was officially a Certified Insurance Counselor (CIC), and made the shift from Blackberry to iPhone :) We welcomed Jackson Odell Parker into the world and continued making connections with varying ministry leaders in McKinney. As we reached 100 days of being married, I was reminded (yet again) of how incredibly blessed I am to be married to Mike.

Things remained busy into November, so I didn't blog as much as I had wanted to. We did head to Austin for a friend's wedding, and then I headed to Vegas for a work trip (no really, I did!). We got to celebrate the engagement of our dear friends Clint and Kelly, and I got to spend a day decorating for a wedding with Mike's mom. We celebrated our first married Thanksgiving, Mike's 30th Birthday, and decorated our first Christmas Tree together. We also had a fun hangout night of fajitas and games with some of Mike's co-workers.

As is usually the case in December, the month was full of parties and festivities. We celebrated Mike's birthday again with a fun 80s-themed surprise party. We hosted our first Neighborhood Christmas Party, complete with homemade hot chocolate and cookie-decorating for kids. We celebrated White Elephant-style with college friends, as well as Tacky Sweater-style with sweet 20s group friends. We were so blessed to be able to spend Christmas this year in San Antonio with my family. While the weekend was short, it was full of family, and I am so thankful for our first married Christmas!

It was a good year- full of many blessings and new adventures! We are so thankful to Jesus for everything, and we look forward to growing closer to and serving Him in 2012!

Happy New Year!