Hello 40

Well, I am officially 40! :)

I am so thankful for a sweet birthday and for reaching such a big milestone! Mike and the kids made the day special, and I was so thankful for all of the birthday wishes from family and friends throughout the day. 

Unfortunately, I ended up sick {hello 40?}, so we are rescheduling my birthday dinner. And I get to plan a fun trip later this year, so the birthday festivities continue!

I had not dreaded 40 in the traditional sense. I don't necessarily fear getting older; I am actually grateful for the growth and maturity that have come with the years of aging. I just don't fret about the things that my 20 year old self used to, because they just don't matter the same as they did then. While my physical body may feel every bit of its years {and more}, I am thankful for the advantage of hindsight and wisdom and experience that comes with aging. I can appreciate feeling more comfortable in one's own skin, knowing more of who you are, and feeling confident in the life you live. 

That's not to say I have all of the answers and always feel confident in all of my decisions. I am currently in a season of unknowns {again}, not knowing what is around the corner, and still wrestling with what it looks like to trust the Lord. But in my years of walking with the Lord, I have gained the advantage of seeing His goodness and faithfulness on full display in countless situations, and I can walk in more confidence, simply because I have walked with Him longer. 

That's a gift that I didn't have 30 years ago, when brand-new baby Christian Erin didn't know anything else but that she wanted to follow Jesus. 

A gift that I didn't have 20 years ago, when growing Christian Erin was stepping out into the world and learning the reality of walking by faith and trusting her Savior. 

A gift that I didn't have 10 years ago, when struggling Christian Erin was crying out for answers in the midst of another season of unknowns and grief and loss, trying desperately to hold on to the truths she knew when nothing around her made sense.

As I think back on 40 years of life, 30 years of walking with the Lord, I am just overwhelmed with gratitude for all that the Lord has done. For His goodness and faithfulness to me over the years, and for His patience and long suffering with me. It's really hard to put into words, so I will say is that I am entering my 40s just incredibly thankful. 

As grateful as I am, celebrating on my birthday was still hard. There was a phone call that was decidedly missing from the day, and the reality of hitting a milestone he won't was really difficult to grapple with. So it was a bittersweet day, for sure. But I can still praise God for the gift of a new year, be thankful for each new day, and I can be thankful for how the Lord continues to take care of us, offering sweetness and grace in the midst of the tears.

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And as for that 40 Before 40 List...I kept thinking that I had plenty of time to check these things off. And then all of a sudden, I had 6 months left and not enough time at all!  Oh well :)

But even when I made the list, I knew that some would be a bit of a stretch, a bit of a dream to cross off. And some of these items have become out of reach for varying life circumstance reasons. But that's ok. I was still able to cross a few off, and the Lord has been so gracious to me over the past decade, even without crossing some of these off. Even looking at the list now, I'm wondering why some of these were so important at the time. I guess it's just fun to have a list of things to think and dream about.   

Celebrate our 10th anniversary with a trip away {sans kiddos!}

Finish a full year of hand lettering challenges - nope

Achieve and maintain remission for Crohn's - but does it count if I lost it right before my birthday?? Sigh.

Renew and use my passport - I don't even know where mine is...

Make a wise investment - I think buying our house should count

Take a family road trip to a new place

Take a photography class - the course is sitting in my inbox still...

Go on a train ride - does the steam train at Dollywood count?

Enjoy a fun girls' weekend away - this is coming!!

Take a self-defense class - nope

Go on a hot air balloon ride - haha nope

See the Grand Canyon - double haha nope

Read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - this should have been an easy one, such a missed opportunity!

Become flexible enough to do the splits - Ok. I actually tried this one for awhile. And then decided "why?"

Finish our baby clothes quilt - still on my "very much want to do" list

Explore a cave

Hug a redwood - nope

Take a cooking class - nope

Complete a 9000 piece puzzle - I didn't realize how expensive these are haha

Enjoy a white Christmas - timing hasn't been right

Join a book club - I'm counting our women's summer book club, especially since I led it last summer!

Recreate a childhood photo - this one made me tear up...because I had plans to do this with my brother. I had the exact photo in mind too. Don't put stuff off, guys. 

Cook a full Thanksgiving dinner

Release a floating lantern - I know the festival I want to go to. Just need to plan it and get a babysitter!

Serve in a new ministry - nope. I think I found the ones I'm supposed to be in for now.

Pay for a stranger's meal - nope

Watch the sunrise in a beautiful place - I think the hills of West Virginia are pretty beautiful.

Dip my toes in the Atlantic Ocean - not yet

Visit the 5 states bordering Virginia 

{Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina}

Take a hike to view waterfalls

Have a professional makeup lesson - nope

See a play - nope

Be a tourist in Washington D.C.

Buy a house

Celebrate my 20 year friendiversary with Laura {2024} - again, such a missed opportunity!

Disciple a younger mom - I have tried, but nothing formal.

Write a children's book with my mom - nope. And what?

Undertake a home renovation project - does having our kitchen and floors redone count?

Finish and order our 13th year photo book - I am SO far behind on our family photo books...

Read the letter I wrote to myself to open on my 39th birthday...and write one to open on my 49th birthday - this was fun to read :)

Crohn's Chronicles :: Symptomatic Remission

I can finally say it. I am in remission.

It took 3.5 years.

My symptoms started in November of 2019. By May of 2020, I was having symptoms every single day, and my colonoscopy in June of 2020 confirmed that, not only was my Crohn's back, it had spread {from my ileum to my colon}. 

I spent an entire year on a medication that didn't help. I moved across the country and had to change my entire medical team. I endured severe sickness and a suppressed immune system in the middle of a pandemic. I have fought insurance and endured side effects. I spent another year on a medication that started to help, before I switched to a more frequent dose that finally pushed me into better results.

And today I can say that I am in remission.

Usually a colonoscopy is used to confirm remission. It's the best way to see how much inflammation is still lingering and what damage may still be occurring. But since my labs look normal, and I have been {GI} symptom-free since December, my doctor has declared me in remission. He said that unless something changes, I won't have to do another colonoscopy until 2025!

If I'm honest, I still have a hard time trusting it. I was sick for so long, that "sick" was my normal for multiple years. I have a lingering fear that this is only temporary and my symptoms will show back up. I have a legitimate concern that insurance will deny my medication at the dosing that is helping me. And the reality is that I am not guaranteed long-term remission, and insurance can do what it wants. 

But today I feel good. Today insurance has said yes. I am filled with gratitude for all God has done in, through, and because of my Crohn's Disease. I am filled with gratitude for my support system: family, friends, doctors. I am thankful for the grace and patience from so many over the past 3.5 years. 

Today I will praise the One who granted me health again. The same One who walked with me on all of the hard days, who met me on the bathroom floor over and over again, and who never let me face any of it alone. 

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

Mommy Getaway

This weekend, I got to have a little Mommy Getaway! I am so thankful for a husband who (1) recognizes my need for solo time, and (2) who helps make it happen for me to get some time away! I love my kiddos, but I also love quiet time away to unplug and recharge. And this weekend helped me do exactly that.

I stayed in a little AirBNB in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. It helped me check off another state on my {40 Before 40} list, and it was a good little retreat in nature. The first day, I explored the area around Shepherdstown. The C&O Canal runs through it, so I went on a small hike along the Potomac River to explore the locks. 

Such a cute little house!

Looking across the Potomac River to the Maryland side

James Rumsey Monument: inventor of the steamboat

It was a little too early for the fall leaves, which was a bummer, but it was still beautiful

I also walked around the little downtown area, walked by the college, got some ice cream, and just enjoyed being out in the beautiful weather. I spent the rest of the evening reading :)

The next day, I explored Harper's Ferry. I went into the Harper's Ferry National Historical Park and took the shuttle into Lower Town.

Viewing 3 states! West Virginia, Virginia, and Maryland

The Point at the Rivers, where the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers meet

I took a hike across the rivers along the Appalachian Trail into the Maryland side, and walked along the Potomac on the C&O Canal Towpath. It was another beautiful day {a sunny 74 degrees!}, and while there were several hikers and bikers out, it wasn't too busy at all. It was so peaceful to walk along the river and hear the rush of the water.

I turned back at mile marker 62, and made my way back into the historic Lower Town. As one of the first industrial cities in the country, and located along the B&O Railroad, it contained a large armory and was the site of many battles in the Civil War. The town has many historic sites, but there are some little shops and restaurants that operate. Most of the town is on a hill and many of the sites were at the top of many, steep steps...I was definitely feeling the burn :)

John Brown Monument

Jefferson Rock

View from Jefferson Rock

After spending all day hiking in the National Park, I headed back to take a nice, uninterrupted nap...and it was glorious! :) 

The rest of my time away consisted of reading, spending extended time on my Bible study, catching up on a few shows, and just enjoying time to myself. I headed back home, rested and refreshed, ready to tackle the noise and chaos of my normal life! Haha. I missed my family and was ready to get back to them, but I am so thankful for the time away to just breathe and be something other than "mom" for a bit.

Maryland Renaissance Festival

This weekend, we went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival; our neighbors invited us, so we decided to check it out! 

The kids were amazed at all the fun costumes, and there was SO much to see. From glass blowing and axe throwing to jousting and dancing, it was a whole new world for us to explore. To say that some people get into the spirit of things is probably an understatement :)

The kids were deputized so they could issue a citation to our friends for making us wait for them haha. They weren't quite sure what to make of this character, and we decided to show mercy instead of requiring some goats and chickens ;)

The kids were most excited to just be there with our sweet friend C; I'm thankful for these sweet little friendships!

We watched a bird show, played on a playground, enjoyed some yummy fair food, and otherwise, just explored the fair grounds. There was so much to see, and many people were "in character," so there were shows to watch on every corner.

While we may not be diving into the world of cosplay anytime soon, it was a fun adventure with friends, and we are thankful for sweet memories with our crew!

Tennessee Adventures :: Part 2

On Wednesday, we headed to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park for a hike. We kept it pretty easy with the Cataract Falls Trail. The trail was almost completely tree-covered, which made for a cool hike.

Throwing rocks into the river

We made it!

We found a Paw-Paw plant!

Even though it wasn't a very difficult hike, and Cataract Falls is only 25 feet tall, I'm still going to count this for my 40 Before 40 list. I'll try for a hike that requires more effort before I'm 40, but just in case I don't make it, I'm saying this counts ;)

After our hike, we met back up with Michael's crew for a round of mini golf at Hillbilly Golf. This was a really cool course up on the top/side of the mountain. It was also the first time the kids have done mini golf! Let's just say they like to play by their own rules, but everyone had fun, so that's what matters. Eli even had a couple of hole-in-ones!

Heading up, up, up to the top!

After a long day of outdoor fun, we headed back to the cabin for some rest, a movie, and grilling. 

Papa, the Master Griller with a killer view

Grandma in her happy place; kids in their happy place with her

Thursday we headed to English Mountain Trout Farm. They have a trout pond, where you can fish, and then they grill it on the spot for you. Honestly, it's the perfect set-up for kids; it's super simple to catch a trout {so there's no waiting}, and it was delicious! 

Michael and his crew headed back to Texas on Friday, but since we only had one day of travel, we got to stay an extra day. It was National Donut Day, so we couldn't pass up the chance to celebrate! Papa wasn't complaining :)

Grandma and Papa offered to babysit so Mike and I could sneak in a date! Some rain rolled in, but we still decided to brave the wet weather and head into downtown Gatlinburg. We walked around in the light rain, grabbed a quick lunch, then waited in line at The Crazy Mason. We actually didn't even know that it was a "thing," we really were just enjoying sitting and talking, catching up on life {kid-free} while we waited for it to open. But then people started lining up outside the door, so then we were committed haha.

Love him :)

We had such a great, full week. Lots of family time, lots of fun adventures, lots of laughter. Thank you, Grandma and Papa for an amazing week! We miss you already and look forward to seeing you soon :)