I am currently in the infamous "two week wait" {TWW}. If you have ever tried to get pregnant, and actually tracked that process, then you know exactly what I am talking about. It's the two {ish} weeks between ovulation {or in our case, embryo transfer} and pregnancy test. It basically involves waiting to "hear the news" on whether or not this is finally going to be the cycle that you get pregnant.
And for those who have walked the road of infertility....it's a LONG two weeks. There's nothing more you can do in that cycle, and really all you can do is...well, wait. Most women walking through this process drive themselves CrAzY by analyzing every little change, twinge, symptom, etc. It's a roller coaster of hope and fear, what-ifs and could-it-bes.
When I looked back to figure out how often we have endured this crazy waiting period, I realized that this is officially our 36th TWW. We had 31 when we were trying to conceive on our own, 2 with our first 2 frozen embryo transfers, 1 with Eli and Maddie, 1 with another embryo, and now this one. And it's just as emotional the 36th time, as it was the 1st time.
I have also realized that this will be our last TWW. Now that we have transferred all of our embryos, we won't be trying for any more pregnancies. So while that is overwhelming to think about, and there are so many things to say and emotions to feel about that {a post for another time}...there is {strangely} some comfort in it. To know I won't have to endure this crazy emotional roller coaster again is somewhat freeing. It means closing a very difficult chapter in my life, and actually {finally} being able to move on. To put the crazy process behind me.
So while I sit and wait yet again, and there are so many emotions right now about this being our last shot at pregnancy, I am grateful for how the Lord has reminded me of this bit of grace in not having to endure this process again.
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