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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

{iPhone Rewind} :: January

I discovered these and they're AMAZING.

When it's cold outside and mama makes you wear ridiculous fleece outfits :)

We spent a cold day at Aunt Lindsay's hanging out with cousins!

Cutie :)

Cutie #2 :)

There were literally 123 other colored balls on the floor within his reach, but he insisted on having these 2 #toddlerlogic

And some days are like this... #siblings

This boy LOVES his books!

#standforlife

They just love this window sill :)

Sweet tulips from my love :)

Apparently this cutie likes kale...who knew? :)


Friday, January 26, 2018

High Five for Friday!

{one} Eli and Maddie are affectionately called snowflake babies, because they came to us through embryo adoption and were once frozen. So that would make me a snowflake mama! :)  Leah is a fellow snowflake mama, and she has designed some beautiful snowflake products to celebrate the uniqueness of our little ones. So when she posted a new snowflake mama t-shirt, I knew I wanted to get one! I was so excited when it arrived in the mail, and I can't wait to wear it and raise more awareness about embryo adoption. 


{two} I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called One More Shot. One couple documented their infertility and loss journey, sharing all the intimate details of trying to build their family. All the doctor appointments, the medication, the finances, the emotions, etc. I found myself crying, laughing, nodding along throughout the whole film. I was right back on our road to a family, experiencing all the emotions all over again. This film is not from a Christian perspective {and fair warning, there is some cussing}, but I would highly recommend it. It's a raw look at the reality of infertility and loss, what some couples face in growing their families. You can watch the trailer here

{three} I have also started listening to a new podcast called Hinge. It is an atheist and a pastor who are asking/answering hard questions about who Jesus was. It hasn't quite been what I expected...but it has still been interesting. They ask a lot of good questions, and I appreciate that there is room to question faith and belief.



{four} We had noticed that Eli looked a bit cross-eyed at times, so we decided to take him to see a pediatric ophthalmologist. They did a number of tests, dilated his little eyes, and concluded that he has high hyperopia. In other words, poor little guy can't see very well! His cross eye has resulted because he has been trying to compensate and actually see! So that means he will need glasses. We have ordered them, and are waiting for them to come in. I will update and provide a little more information then, but for now, we're just thankful we were able to identify the problem and now know how to fix it!

{five} So I am {maybe a little unreasonably} terrified of the flu. The one and only time I had it was in college during finals week, and all I remember is waking up feeling like I had been run over by a mack truck. Since being diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, I have received a flu shot every year, because the flu can be very bad for those with IBD {lasting for weeks and even causing a flare up}. And now with 2 babies who share every illness...I just want to avoid it at all costs. With the flu being so bad this year, and the flu vaccine not very effective this year, I just want to hibernate until March. So forgive me if I avoid the general public or even you...I'm just trying to keep my family healthy :)


Thursday, January 25, 2018

9 Weeks


How far along? 9 weeks
Days since transfer: 44 days
Meds: Day 69 of Estrace, day 51 of PIO
Total weight gain: -4 {this baby is really taking all of my reserves!}
Maternity clothes? Not yet, though my jeans are starting to get a bit tight.
Sleep: Still super tired all day long. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I am dragging by the end of the day. Poor Mike pretty much spends his evenings alone these days, because I am in bed about 20 minutes after babies go to bed...I didn't really remember feeling this tired with the twins, but when I looked back over my pregnancy symptoms, I remembered that I was taking 2 naps a day at this point LOL. So yeah...can't do that anymore, so no wonder I'm tired! :)
Best moment of the week: Hearing that Mike was ok after a car accident. Thankfully it wasn't too bad, and I am thankful the Lord protected him.
Cravings: Fruit! I want all of it all the time. And Whataburgers. Which is very sad because I can't have them. I am even dreaming about fruit and Whataburgers haha.
Symptoms: Thankfully, my nausea has remained under control. I have started having really vivid {and strange} dreams. 
Looking forward to: Weaning off my meds! I am ready to stop my PIO injections...my rear is starting to feel it!

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Size of baby? About the size of a tater tot, a gum ball, or a lug nut
Development: Ears are starting to grow, toes are visible, and all of baby's essential organs {heart, brain, kidneys, liver, and lungs} have begun to develop.
Heartbeat: Was 163 bpm at 8 weeks :)
Movement: I can't feel it yet, but baby is making a lot of spontaneous movements.
Gender Predictions? We're just hoping for another healthy baby! But just for fun...baby had a heartbeat of 163 bpm at our ultrasound, which is considered high, which would {according to old wives' tales} mean GIRL. However, Eli's heartbeat at around 8 weeks was exactly 163 bpm, so....maybe BOY :)


**This post was written at 9 Weeks, but was not published until after we made our official announcement. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**


Thursday, January 18, 2018

8 Weeks


How far along? 8 weeks
Days since transfer: 37 days
Meds: Day 62 of Estrace, day 44 of PIO
Total weight gain: -2 {despite eating every 2 hours!}
Maternity clothes? No. Just lots of stretchy pants.
Sleep: I have still been super tired this week. I have taken a lot of naps with babies. My insomnia at night is not as bad, as I am usually able to go back to sleep after waking up having to pee. I have been having some pretty vivid dreams about food though haha.
Best moment of the week: FINALLY getting to see our little bean via ultrasound! Seeing that flickering heartbeat was definitely the best moment! Oh, and also confirming that we're only having 1 this time :)
Cravings: No. I haven't really craved anything, and to be honest, don't really want anything. I am constantly hungry though, which poses a bit of a challenge. 
Symptoms: I had one day of nausea where I felt pretty miserable. I have to make sure something is on my stomach every couple of hours, just to stay on top of the nausea so it doesn't get too bad. So it hasn't been too bad since then. I have had some off and on cramping, which I attribute to a growing uterus and chasing after toddlers all day :)
Looking forward to: The weekend! It was a pretty rough day today, so I am ready for reinforcements! 

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Size of baby? About the size of a peanut M&M, cufflink, or iPhone app icon
Development: Fingers and toes are forming, though they will still be webbed for awhile. The upper lip, cute button nose, and tiny eyelids are forming too!
Heartbeat: 163 bpm at 7w + 5d {with baby measuring 8w}
Movement: Baby is making spontaneous movements, though I can't feel them yet.
Gender Predictions? We're just hoping for another healthy baby! I really wanted to be able to try out the Ramzi theory since it doesn't work on twins, but unfortunately, our ultrasound was too late! You really have to have one between 6 to 7 weeks for it to fit in the theory. If it worked for an 8 week scan, then the guess would be BOY {based on where the yolk sac was located}. But I will be checking on some of the other crazy old wives' tales in the coming weeks, just for fun!


**This post was written at 8 Weeks, but was not published until after we made our official announcement. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**



Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Hello Baby {single. one}!

Today we had our first ultrasound for this pregnancy. It has been really difficult waiting for this appointment...it seems like forever since we found out we were pregnant, and with Eli and Maddie, I had already had 3 ultrasounds by this time. So to say that I was anxious this morning is an understatement. To make matters worse, I had some light cramping and spotting yesterday, so I was MORE than ready to check in on baby...

I wasn't quite sure if I would make it to the appointment, as DFW was panicking about cold temperatures and ice. But thankfully it was just super cold, and the roads were fine, so I was able to make it with no problem.



I held my breath, and waited for my ultrasound to start. I first saw the tiny bean on the screen, and then that blessed flickering of the tiny heartbeat. Our baby was there! As the ultrasound tech took measurements, I cried happy tears and praised Jesus for His sweet gift. Baby looked perfect...growing right on track {even a little ahead!} with a strong heart beat. 

I will continue seeing my RE weekly for blood work to start weaning off my meds, and I have my first appointment with my OB on January 31. It's going to be strange for me to have the usual few ultrasounds, but we are just beyond thankful for this sweet little one!


Measuring 7 weeks + 6 days at 15.4mm
Heart Rate is 163 bpm


Friday, January 12, 2018

High Five for Friday!

{one} The temperatures dropped last night, so it's pretty cold around here {actually feeling like winter!} So I am currently curled up under multiple blankets. My children are pretty unfazed by the cold weather and are definitely more hot natured than I am. But we are all a little more bundled up today. Day's like today make me miss a fireplace. Though I am sure Eli and Maddie would find some way to get into that :)

{two} So speaking of Eli and Maddie...we are in full toddler mode around here! It is so weird when I say babies...because Eli and Maddie are definitely not babies anymore! They are both walking, and they are into everything. Maddie has decided that her first word is going to be "cracker" though it sounds more like "cacka" haha. Eli hates wearing shoes...like, he can. not. handle it. He MUST hold his shoes when we're in the car, so we just wait to put them on until we get where we need to go. Or he just ends up going without. They both have started doing high-fives, which is super cute and fun :)

{three} A lot of people ask me if I am still working, so I thought I would answer that question here: yes! I still work part time from home, and I still love it! I am so grateful for the flexibility, and it really is nice that I can work around Eli and Maddie's schedule. I really have no plans to give that up, and will stay as long as they will have me!

{four} I am excited about the devotional I am walking through this year God's Wisdom for Navigating Life by Tim Keller. I walked through his Psalms devotional a couple of years ago, so I am looking forward to walking through Proverbs this year.

{five} Some friends just had a new baby, so we are taking them dinner tonight. Otherwise, I think we'll be spending a quiet weekend at home...just the way we like it :)

Happy Friday!


Thursday, January 11, 2018

7 Weeks

Not the best photo, but full disclosure...it was like 25 degrees outside haha


How far along? 7 weeks
Days since transfer: 30 days
Meds: Day 55 of Estrace, day 37 of PIO
Total weight gain: -1 {no change from last week}
Maternity clothes? Too soon. Though some of my regular jeans are feeling uncomfortable after too much time...I may or may not have had to unbutton them sometimes {gotta love bloating}.
Sleep: Still feeling really tired. I just want to curl up and sleep all day, but that's just not an option! So I nap when babies nap...some days both naps {!}...so nothing is getting done at my house. Oh well.
Best moment of the week: Hearing Maddie say her first word {"cracker" of all things :) }
Cravings: No cravings, just hungry more often.
Symptoms: I haven't had much nausea this week. Which has made me super anxious {infertility/loss will always follow me...}, so as tired as I have been, I have also had some insomnia. I can fall asleep just fine...it's when I have to wake up to pee that I have a hard time falling back asleep. I have also been experiencing a lot of itching at my PIO injection sites...something that is common, but this seems to be the first time I am experiencing so much of it.
Looking forward to: FINALLY getting to have an ultrasound! Can't wait to see this little bean :)

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Size of baby? About the size of a tic tac or the tip of an eyeliner brush 
Development: The umbilical cord has formed, and new brain cells are being generated at the rate of 100 per minute. Arm and leg buds are beginning to sprout, and baby's mouth and tongue are forming.
Heartbeat: It's already beating; I'm so ready to see/hear it!
Movement: Too soon to be felt.
Gender Predictions? We're just hoping for another healthy baby! This will be our family's tiebreaker :)



**This post was written at 7 Weeks, but was not published until after we made our official announcement. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**


Thursday, January 4, 2018

6 Weeks


How far along? 6 weeks
Days since transfer: 23 days
Meds: Day 48 of Estrace, day 30 of PIO
Total weight gain: -1 {despite upping my food intake}
Maternity clothes? Not yet. But I pretty much live in stretchy clothes now anyway. It's who I am.
Sleep: I have been SO tired! Like, cannot keep my eyes open tired. I don't remember feeling this tired with the twins...but I also wasn't chasing 2 toddlers around all day long either. It's not quite as easy to just rest when I feel tired either. I have had to take a nap in the afternoons when Eli and Maddie nap, just so I can make it to bed time {theirs, and then I am not that far behind}.
Best moment of the week: Being able to spend time as a family, since Mike didn't go back to work until yesterday. 
Cravings: WATER. I am thirsty all the time, and cannot get enough. As far as food, I am hungry all the time, but nothing sounds good. 
Symptoms: Other than being so tired...I have had some off and on nausea, but nothing consistent. I have felt pretty bloated and gross, but overall I am feeling good. Just tired. Did I mention that? :)
Looking forward to: Our first ultrasound! With Eli and Maddie, we had one between 6 and 7 weeks. My first one with this baby isn't scheduled until between 7 and 8 weeks. It's only one week later, but it seems so far away!

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Size of baby? About the size of a rainbow sprinkle, battleship peg, or social media hashtag :)
Development: Baby has developed web-like hands and feet stubs, and the jaw, cheeks, chin, and ear canals are forming as well. Kidneys, liver, and lungs are also taking shape.
Heartbeat: Haven't seen or heard it yet, but it is already beating about 110 times a minute! 
Movement: Too soon to be felt.
Gender Predictions? We're just hoping for another healthy baby! This will be our family's tiebreaker :)



**This post was written at 6 Weeks, but was not published until after we made our official announcement. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2017 Book List

When I set my Goodreads goal for the year, I set it embarrassingly low {12} for me. But I wanted to be realistic with myself...we had newborn twins, and I was barely holding it together, so 1 book a month seemed like a reasonable goal. But then I discovered audio books. Why have I never taken advantage of this wonderful invention before?? And then babies took really well to sleep training and, all of a sudden, I had a little more time on my hands. {Let's not get crazy now...  #becausetwins} 

But that being said, I actually hit my goal of reading 12 books by May, so I decided to double it and see how far I got. And then I hit that number by August, so I upped my goal again. I almost laughed when I upped my goal to 40 books...how on earth could I have read more books after Eli and Maddie were born than before?? But somehow I did, and that's kind of fun!

I will say that, while I read more books, this year was not a stellar reading year. I feel like most of the books I read {or rather, had read to me} were meh. I was pretty disappointed with several of them, but I am glad that I at least tried a few new genres and authors. It didn't quite turn out for the best in most instances, but I guess that's just how it goes. You win some, you lose some...and I ended up losing on several this year. Hopefully next year will swing the other direction and be super awesome reading-wise :)


1. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson // I saw this book pop up on a number of book lists, so I decided to see what it was about. It's a true story of a young lawyer who explores the brokenness of the American criminal justice system. It takes a closer look at systemic racial bias, the death penalty, and how our legal system treats the mentally ill. Organizationally, I don't think it was written well in how it connected the stories with the overall theme {just mercy}; I just don't think that transition was made well. But it's a raw read, and there were many powerful and thought-provoking stories. 

2. The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman // Because we. needed. sleep. Ha! There wasn't much different information from other research I have done on sleep training, but I really liked the way she presented the information. She gave several options, but clear rules. AND IT WORKED. I didn't love her chapter on multiples {I didn't find it very helpful}, but I was able to tailor her program to twins, and we. got. sleep.

3. Bossypants by Tina Fey // Several people have raved about this book, so I decided to give it a try. I must not be very funny, because I just didn't like this book. There were parts that were kind of funny, but I wouldn't call it a "laugh out loud" read. And to be honest, I thought that much of her book was crude and offensive. Maybe the jokes went over my head, but I just cannot recommend this book. Super disappointed.

4. On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam // Apparently this book is controversial {missed that until after I read it}. I will say that I don't think the book is worth all of the controversy. There were things I liked and things I didn't. But isn't that like any other parenting book? Anyway, I have heard a lot of their principles before, and they're not that far off from The Sleep Sense Program. But I started having questions about schedules and what to do in specific situations, so Laura suggested I read the book. I first have to say that I wish we could all just get along. Meaning: this book is obviously written from an anti-attachment parenting perspective. And I get it; I lean more away from attachment parenting as well, but I just wish that the way sides are presented were less antagonistic. That aside, I did find pieces of this book helpful. The chapter on multiples was helpful {because the author has triplets and gets it!}. Will we use all of the advice in the book? Probably not. But it was helpful to see some scheduling examples.

5. Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust by Immaculee Ilabagiza // I heard about this book on a podcast, so I picked up a copy at the library. It was a quick read, and she has such an incredible story. Her story of survival and trusting God with her very life makes this a must read.

6.  Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale by Rachel Lloyd // This was an incredibly difficult read. It is a raw and real life look into the world of human trafficking. It's so easy to shut our eyes and pretend that these things don't happen. And by doing this, we become unintentional contributors to the problem. While it was difficult to read, it was incredibly enlightening. Written by a former trafficked girl, it offers a really eye-opening look into this world and how our culture views it.

7. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs // I really struggled with this book. I agree on the overall principle of love and respect in marriage. But the way the topics were presented made it really difficult for me to get on board with this book. Part 1 basically said the same thing in 50 {sort of} different ways and offered testimonials of how great the author's conferences are. Parts 2 and 3 were a little more practical, but were still not enough to redeem this book for me. The language and tone was archaic, and the marriage examples were over simplified and often ridiculous. I was just so disappointed in this book.

8. The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware // This was actually my first fiction book of the year, and I enjoyed it. It is a murder mystery, something I like reading, so I liked this book. There were parts that seemed to drag a bit, but overall it was an interesting read. Fair warning though: there is offensive language in this book, something I don't like reading. 

9. Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham // I was pretty disappointed in this book. It's a fictional story about an actress who is trying to make it {supposedly mirroring a lot of Graham's story}. I felt like it could have been funny, but it just seemed to fall flat in so many places. It seemed to drag on for most of the book, and I just really didn't enjoy it very much. Sad, because I like Lauren Graham as an actress. Guess I don't like her as an author.

10. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah // This is a historical fiction book about 2 sisters who lived in France during World War II. I really enjoy historical fiction, and so I really enjoyed this book. It was such an interesting story, and I thought it was written really well. Highly recommend for lovers of historical fiction.

11. Messy Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover // review here

12. The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines // In a word, I would say this book was fluffy. It was entertaining to read Chip and Joanna's story of how they met, and all the crazy adventures that led them to Magnolia Market and Fixer Upper. I liked that it was told in both of their voices, as the book goes back and forth between the two, with Joanna telling a majority of the story. Those two as a couple have always been somewhat of a mystery to me, but they are brilliant for all they have done for Waco. I will say that there was an underlying sense of the humble brag throughout the book, but that's also how I feel about the show. They talk a lot about God's plan, and I don't really align theologically with their way of thinking on that, but the book is an overall light, fun read.

13. Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini // A somewhat random pick, but I watched an interview where Leah Remini described her story, and I was interested in reading her book. It's her biographical memoir of growing up in and ultimately leaving the church of scientology. Such an interesting read. But warning...it has some adult content, and there's a fair amount of offensive language.

14. As Good As Dead by Stephen L. Moore // A friend recommended this book for those that read and enjoyed Unbroken. I tried really hard, but I just couldn't get into this book. The stories are harrowing, for sure. But in my opinion, it was not organized well, was very repetitive, and it just seemed like an endless stream of names, ranks, and memories. It definitely reads more like a disorganized textbook or documentary than a novel, and wasn't really anything like Unbroken, at least in presentation.

15. Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham // I recommend listening to the audio version {Graham narrates}, but still getting the physical book, so that you can see the pictures to which she refers. This is a collection of personal essays, in which Graham talks about life, love, and working in Hollywood as a woman. If you enjoy Gilmore Girls and Parenthood, this is a fun read.

16. Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery // I continued making my way through the Anne of Green Gables series. The new Netflix series Anne with an "E" made me want to continue re-reading this sweet series. They're nostalgic for me, as I read them growing up, but I am enjoying them now, even as an adult. {Anne finally admits she loves Gilbert!} I listened to this one as an audio book, which was convenient, but also hilarious. The voices the reader made were just so funny :)

17. The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander // I went back and forth on this book. It is definitely thought provoking and addresses an important topic regarding discrimination in our justice system. I persevered through it because I wanted to understand and challenge my own ways of thinking. She makes the claim that the war on drugs is the new Jim Crow. While I cannot definitely say that claim is wrong, this author failed to convince me. There seemed to be a lot of cherry picking on the data, and there were several gaping holes in her arguments. I personally don't believe she is the best writer. I wanted very much to like this book, but I really struggled through it. I would say read it with a critical eye and an open mind.

18. A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold // This book is written by the mother of one of the boys responsible for the Columbine shootings. I thought she was very brave to write this book. As a mother, she cannot help but want to humanize her son and find answers for why he did what he did. So her writing leans more toward trying to explain him, but I don't believe her intent was to make excuses for him. It's an interesting read, and it really made me think about the families of those who commit horrible crimes. It's also written to help bring awareness to those with mental illness and those who struggle with thoughts of suicide.

19. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi // I picked this book because it was on a top read list. And probably because I was seeing a neurosurgeon haha. I appreciated his story {a neurosurgeon who is diagnosed with lung cancer and comes face to face with his own suffering and death}. Unfortunately, he passed before he was able to finish the book, so his wife finished it and made sure it was published. I can't fault the author {obviously}, but the book did feel incomplete. It's a quick, easy read, and did provide an interesting look into his approach to caring for his patients. It was a beautiful glimpse into how he prepared himself and his family for the end of his life.

20. The Romanov Sisters: The Lost Lives of the Daughters of Nicholas and Alexandria by Helen Rappaport // Probably the most random and nerdy book I picked up this year. I really liked the way the author presented the information on the Romanov sisters; it read more like a story than a textbook. So for the most part, I enjoyed this book. I will say that it tended to provide a lot of mundane details, and it seemed to focus more on Alexandria than all of the girls. If you like history and non-fiction, you might enjoy this book.

21. The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead // The best thing I can say about this book is "eh." I just never really got into it. I thought it was slow, and I didn't feel like there was good character development. I also did not like how the underground railroad was presented as an actual railroad; it just seemed strange to me. Not my favorite read this year. Which is sad, because it was a Pulitzer prize winner.

22. Hitler's Forgotten Children by Ingrid von Oelhafen and Tim Tate // I seem to not be hitting the book jackpot here...this book was ok. I thought her story was interesting; I enjoy history, and this memoir was the author's account of searching for answers regarding her part in the Nazi Lebensborn program. I didn't love the way it was written though. It seemed disjointed, and there seemed to be too many cliff hangers {at least in the words chosen to make it seem so}, falsely adding suspense that didn't need to be there. A lot of anticlimactic language. Again, not my favorite read this year. Another disappointment with the Goodreads winner lists.

23. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot // This is the story of the woman whose cells were used for many modern medical advances. Known only as "HeLa" the author tried to learn more about Henrietta and her family. It was an interesting story, though there were times when I felt the author was prying too much into this family's life to get her "juicy" story. 

24. Missional Motherhood by Gloria Furman // Since I try to read 1 marriage book a year, I thought it would be good to try to read a book on parenting/motherhood every year too. This one popped up as a Kindle deal, so it is the first annual for me. It wasn't what I expected, but in the best kind of way. I went in thinking I would get a checklist of good mothering tips. Instead, I left with salve to my soul and a gospel-laden foundation for any future books I read on motherhood. I had to start it over because I kept skipping ahead, waiting to get to what my mind was saying was the "good part." And I'm so glad I took the time to slow down and read what she had to say. A must read for any mom wanting to live out the gospel in her mothering.

25. Joni: An Unforgettable Story by Joni Eareckson Tada and Joe Musser // Since it is the 50th anniversary of Joni's diving accident, I decided to read her original book. Her story has always fascinated and inspired me, so I was familiar with a lot of her story. I have actually met Joni in person, and she is such an incredible testimony of faith and endurance. Having met her and read several of her other books, I would say that this one wasn't my favorite...she has definitely improved her writing over the years. But her story is nonetheless unforgettable.

26. A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman // This story was quirky, but oddly charming. There were some dark elements, but I actually enjoyed reading about grumpy old Ove. A quick, {mostly} light read.

27. Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance // I thought this book was really interesting. It's the memoir of a young man who grew up poor in an Appalachian town. He gives a personal account of growing up in "hillbilly" culture and how he was able to beat the odds and achieve upward mobility. An interesting look at class and culture.

28. Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris // A psychological thriller...things are not always as they seem. And if it seems too perfect, it probably is {how's that for an enticement? haha}. While it was predictable in many ways, it still kept me on the edge of my seat and was still a page turner. Definitely not a light read, but a good mystery/suspense novel. I also appreciated that there was very little {if any?} offensive language.

29. I Let You Go by Clare Mackintosh // Another psychological thriller...I like mystery/crime/thriller books, and it was fun to read some fiction. I enjoyed the plot twist in the middle of the book and the overall story, but I didn't love the end. Seemed too unrealistic and fantastical to me, but it wasn't a complete deal breaker. She was a good enough writer for me to try another of her books.

30. All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda // A murder mystery told backwards...?? I just struggled with this book. I liked the story, for the most part, but the way the author told it made it hard for me to follow. She kept you in suspense the whole book, but didn't explain things well, and I felt let down at the end. It just fell flat for me. I think it would have been better if she had told it differently.

31. Into the Water by Paula Hawkins // I was pretty disappointed with this book. There were times when I thought it would redeem itself, but then she would insert cussing or a new character. And there were just too many characters. Instead of adding suspense, it was just confusing. I listened to the audio version, and I just laughed the whole time because the readers {there were multiple} and their accents/inflections were just ridiculous. This book just felt like a flop to me, after reading her first book.

32.  Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate // Overall, I enjoyed this book. The story was heartbreaking; it is a fictional story surrounding true life events of adoption scandals. But I thought the author did an excellent job of telling the story. There were some parts that dragged a little {maybe I don't have a long enough attention span??}, and some details were hard to connect. But otherwise it was an decent book.

33. Call the Midwife: A True Story of the East End in the 1950s by Jennifer Worth // I started watching the series on Netflix and really enjoyed it. So I decided to read the books. I have to say that I was pretty disappointed. It's very rare when the movie or show is better than the book, but I think that's the case for this one. The book was written more like small story vignettes, rather than an overall story. And it was incredibly graphic, and {in my opinion} needlessly so. I didn't mind it so much for the birth stories, but it was too much in the chapters involving Mary {a prostitute}. I had higher hopes for this book, and I would say "pass." I won't be reading the other books in the trilogy.

34. The Break Down by B.A. Paris // I decided to try another by this author {see #28 above}. And I was SO disappointed. This book was repetitive, with a capital "R" and I just couldn't wait for it to end. I nearly stopped reading multiple times, and after finishing it, kind of wish I had. 

35. What She Knew by Gilly Macmillan // I wouldn't call this a psychological thriller {it wasn't that suspenseful}, but I thought it was an ok mystery. There were several parts that seemed to drag on, but overall it kept me interested. I would be willing to give this author {and series} another shot.

36. Rogue Lawyer by John Grisham // I enjoy this author, and have read most of his books. So I was pretty disappointed with this book. It wasn't like any of his other books, and it just seemed like a strange story to me. There were a lot of random plot lines, and it left me saying "huh?" too many times. So sad, because Grisham is usually my go-to read!

37. Yes Please by Amy Poehler // I think I have too high expectations for some of these books...I do think this was {slightly} better than Tina Fey's book, but it wasn't quite what I expected. There were some funny and endearing parts, but there were definitely some inappropriate and "meh" parts. If I could delete about half the chapters, then it would have been better, in my opinion.

38. Good News of Great Joy: Daily Readings for Advent by John Piper // This was an ok advent devotional. I really like John Piper, but I think because this was a compilation of excerpts from his writings, it felt very disjointed. Almost like the devotionals were incomplete.

39. Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline // After so many so-so reads, I was really glad I read this book! I really liked it! It follows the story of a 91-year old woman who recounts her story of the orphan train and how it shaped her life, as well as the story of a 17-year old girl who is ready to age out of the foster care system. Really interesting read.

40. Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty // I listened to the audiobook for this one...and I laughed through the whole book! The accents were ridiculous, and I just couldn't take this book seriously. Maybe it was my mistake to listen instead of read, but the audiobook made this book worse for me. Aside from that, I just didn't like it. I kept waiting to see what happened "the day of the bar-b-q" {a phrase that was repeated about 800 too many times}, and it was just a disjointed, super long, strange book. And 89 chapters for the size of this book is just silly.

41. The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones // This is such an amazing children's Bible! And it's not just for children...I love how it takes such big truths and uses simple language...all pointing to Jesus. From creation to Revelation. Highly recommend {even if you don't have kids!}

42. As it Happened: A One Year Chronological Walk Through the Bible by God // I was able to read through the entire Bible in a year! Well, actually I listened to it...babies and I listened to the Word every morning at breakfast. So I guess Eli and Maddie have heard the entire Bible already :) This reading plan was put together by Mountain View Fellowship.

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Books I started but didn't finish:
  • I See You by Clare Mackintosh // I just couldn't get into the story after borrowing it multiple times from the library so I just eventually gave up.
  • The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman // I just couldn't get past all the description. Which is sad, because I am sure the actual story is incredible. But it is possible to use too many adjectives and give too much detail...
  • A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles // It seemed to be beautifully written, it just was not my cup of tea.
  • The Whistler by John Grisham // I couldn't even make it through 2 chapters before I was bored to tears...