Infused Water Wednesday :: Orange + Lemon + Lime

Today's infused water recipe: Orange + Lemon + Lime

Ingredients {to fit in the Chilaqua 24 oz. bottle}:

• 1/2 orange, rind removed, diced
• 1/2 lemon, rind removed, diced
• 1/2 lime, rind removed, diced
• 5-6 ice cubes
• Filtered water

Verdict: Not great

I was excited about this citrus combination, but was disappointed in the flavor. I couldn't really taste the orange, and I know it was a flavorful one {because I can eat that fruit!} It really just tasted like a strange lemon/lime water. So I won't be drinking this one again. Plus, this one didn't look as pretty in the bottle :)

Embryo Adoption :: Blood Pregnancy Test {FET #3}

With our last 2 transfers, we waited for the nurse to call with our beta results from the blood pregnancy test. This morning I just couldn't help myself...I wanted to know the feeling of peeing on the stick and seeing those magical words {strange, I know...but not to those who have walked the road of infertility}. So I took a deep breath and saw what we have prayed so long for...

The weeks estimator is from ovulation {which in our case, would be 5 days before transfer day}, so I am actually 4 weeks pregnant

And another...because I was worried about a false positive. It took 2 seconds to show up!

I just started weeping and saying, "Jesus! YOU did that, Jesus!"  :)

I still, of course, went in for the blood pregnancy test. And it was such a beautiful moment to hear the nurse say, "Congratulations, Erin! You are pregnant!" She told me that they like to see the first number between 50 and 100. Our number? 1300. 1358 to be exact! I could hardly contain my excitement! I had prayed for 500, so that I could know beyond a shadow of a doubt. He gave me more than 1300...

Jesus. YOU did that, Jesus.

Of course, we know that we're not out of the woods, and my beta number still needs to rise in order to confirm that our babies are growing. But today we praise God for the life He has provided!

How far along? 4 weeks

Beta Number: 1358!!

Days since transfer: 10 days 

Meds: stopped taking Cabergoline; continue Metformin daily, day 30 of Estrace; day 17 of PIO

Total weight gain: -1 {better start focusing on my calorie intake!}

Maternity clothes? WAY too early :)

Sleep: I stayed up late to ensure I could fall asleep. I slept really well...until I had to pee at 4am :)

Best moment{s} of the week: seeing the positive pregnancy tests, hearing the nurse say "you are pregnant!" and seeing Mike's face when I told him the beta number

Miss anything? nope

Cravings: Pickles. No joke. Specifically the sweet gherkins. At least it's not with ice cream ;)

Symptoms: I feel pretty normal. I have been tired from the progesterone, and the last 2 days were a little stressful because I had some cramping and light spotting. But the nurse said it was probably just baby {babies?} snuggling in deeper to my uterus.

Looking forward to: hearing that our beta numbers doubled appropriately

-------

Size of baby? about the size of a poppy seed,  {teeny tiny}

Development: already growing the cell layers that are the beginnings of the nervous system, hair, skin, GI tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, connective tissue, urogenital system, and muscles...nothing much ;)

Heartbeat: too soon

Movement: too soon

Gender predictions? we're just hoping for 2 healthy babies!

**This post was written at 4 Weeks, but was not published until after we made our official announcement for our second pregnancy. I back-dated to the actual day so we could have all of this for our own records and memories.**

Almost

This song was shared in a Facebook group, and I couldn't stop bawling. The estrogen and progesterone are surging, and the anxiety is setting in...we have 3 more days until our pregnancy test, and I am just so nervous. I am trying so hard to keep it together and trust Jesus, but more often than not I just end up bawling and begging Jesus to bring us our little ones.

I just don't know what I will do if it's negative. Or if it's positive and then we lose our babies again. Our hearts are just so weary and ready for our family...

I thought this song was incredibly painful but still somehow beautiful. It accurately expresses how we felt when we lost our babies last year. I would have been 31 weeks today, getting so close to meeting our little ones. It still hurts, even knowing that we could be learning of our newest little ones soon. I hate infertility so much.

Almost by R. Garvin

I had you and then I lost you, just like that

You were mine then you were gone, just like that

And my heart broke like shattered glass

It happened so fast

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

You were given then taken, just like that

Now I'll never be the same again, just like that

When your heartbeat stopped so soon

Felt like mine did too

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

I saw your future in my mind, so beautiful and bright

I wondered what you'd be like

Crackin' jokes or a little shy

I wanted to be in the front row, at every game and every show

I wanted to watch you grow

But now I'll never know, oh oh

I almost had you, I almost held you

But you never got to see the sun

You almost became free, we were almost a family

And you were supposed to be the one

I wanted it to be you, God knows I wanted you

So, so bad

And now I'll never go a day without

Thinking 'bout what we almost had

Fly baby, fly baby fly

Fly angel, fly angel fly

Spread your wings and fly

It is Well

I have always loved the hymn It is Well With My Soul written by Horatio Spafford. It was composed after a series of difficulties in his life. He faced incredible financial loss and instability. Shortly after, he sent his family ahead of him in a move, and all four of his daughters died after a ship wreck. He penned this hymn as he passed the place where the ship sank. He and his wife went on to have more children, but they still lost their 4 year old to Scarlet fever. So much tragedy and loss in one family's life.

I have always stood in awe of this story because of the power in the words that were penned. I'm sure it could not have been easy to write the words. Can you imagine the heartache and struggle? And yet, He trusted in a God that was bigger than His circumstances. He was able to say "it is well" because of Jesus. Because of the unending grace that pours out on the life of the believer. 

Bethel Music came out with an updated version a few years ago. Both sets of lyrics have special meaning for me. While it may not have been at the same tragic level as Spafford, we have still experienced heartbreaking loss. We said goodbye to our church and dreams of ministry. Mike lost his job. We were diagnosed with infertility. And it all happened within a matter of months. We waited 3 years to see a positive pregnancy test and then miscarried. So much loss in our short married life...

There have been many dark days when I didn't know if I could say "it is well." And I, of little faith, find myself bracing for more heartbreak and tragedy. After all, it's all we have known for an extended period of time. My weary heart surrenders to the idea that it's all we can know.

And yet the Lord has regarded my helpless estate, and through it all, I can {in faith} say "it is well."

It is Well by Bethel Music

Grander earth has quaked before

Moved by the sound of His voice

Seas that are shaken and stirred

Can be calmed and broken for my regard

Chorus:

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

Through it all, through it all

It is well

Through it all, through it all

My eyes are on You

It is well with me

Far be it from me to not believe

Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me

Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

Chorus

So let go my soul and trust in Him

The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

Infused Water Wednesday :: Strawberry + Lime + Cucumber

I wanted to be sure to maximize the strawberries I bought {since I can't eat them because of the seeds}, so I decided to try another strawberry recipe.

So today's infused water: Strawberry + Lime + Cucumber

Ingredients {to fit in the Chilaqua 24 oz. bottle}:

• 3 strawberries, hulled and quartered
• 1/2 lime, rind removed, diced
• 3 cucumber slices, quartered {so everything can fit in the infuser basket}
• 5-6 ice cubes
• Filtered water

Again, I let it chill in the refrigerator for about an hour. I am finding that I can get 2-3 days worth of water before the flavor starts to wane. Not too bad. 

Verdict: Good

The cucumber flavor was actually a bit overwhelming {which means it was a really good cucumber!}, but it was still refreshing. I wouldn't say it was my favorite, but I would still drink it again as a good infused water option.