What the Lord Has Taught Me in Motherhood

The Lord has used motherhood to teach me so much- about myself, about what it means to love and sacrifice for others, about Him. It started long before I became a mother, in those long, hard days when my heart ached for nothing more than to become one. In the dark days, when I became one briefly, and then knew too quickly the heartache of saying goodbye too soon. When I carried the title in my heart and womb only, but my arms were still empty and aching for a role that still wasn’t mine. But in that time, I learned to trust the heart of my Savior. While I did not understand His ways or timing, He was teaching me that I could trust His character and heart. He was still good, still working, and still holding me close. 

Then when I finally became a mother, my arms filled with not one but 2 babies, I quickly learned how woefully underprepared I was. I couldn’t rely solely on my type A planner self, because twin babies, who may benefit from that, basically throw all of it out the window. And then when our 3rd baby arrived before the twins were 2 years old, I found myself drowning in the reality that I am not enough. But in that time, I learned, once again, to trust the heart of my Savior. While I like control and self-sufficiency, I had to realize that I am absolutely not enough. But that’s ok, because my Savior is more than enough- for my daily needs, for my babies’ needs, and for us to face whatever the day holds. He is in control, He knows what we need, and I don’t need to worry about any of it.

And today, on this Mother’s Day, I think of my own mom. I think of what an incredible example of love and sacrifice she has been to me over the years. How she has shaped for me the vision of motherhood that I desire for my own children. I am thankful for the legacy of faith and prayer that she passes on. She is the patience, grace, and safe place I pray to be. And even now, I am continuing to learn from her. Because over the last few months, I have watched her and my dad grieve a hurt that no parent should have to. And she has done so still reminding me to trust the heart of my Savior. That while it hurts and we don’t fully understand His plan in all of it, He is still good, still working, still holding us close. 

Today I’m thankful for my mom and the countless ways she has loved me and my brother. And more importantly, how she has always, always, pointed us to Jesus. I’m thankful for the ones who call me mom, who I get to hold in my arms. I hold on just a little bit tighter today, even if it draws a few eye rolls and “you’re squishing me!”s. And I’m thankful that the heart of my Savior can be trusted for every stage of motherhood, whatever comes. That He is always good, always working, always holding me close.