I officially have 100 days left until my due date. And because we're having twins, I am almost guaranteed not to even make it to my due date. Which means our precious babes will be here even sooner. How did that happen so fast??
I have been truly thankful for this pregnancy, for so many reasons and in so many ways. While we still have 2 sweet little ones frozen and waiting for us, we know there are no guarantees that we will get to meet them this side of heaven, and so I am constantly reminded of the blessing of this pregnancy. I pray not, but it could very well be the only one I experience. So I don't want to take any of it for granted, and I want to soak up every moment.
While it hasn't been a perfect or completely uneventful pregnancy, it has actually been a good one. My morning {really, all-day} sickness was manageable, and my Crohn's symptoms have improved in pregnancy {bonus!} We started off with some scary complications, but the Lord was gracious to resolve those issues, and we have received nothing but great reports at every doctor's appointment so far. I am definitely starting to feel the reality of carrying 2 babies in my belly...growing fast and moving slower. And I probably won't escape all the "fun" pregnancy symptoms that are still to come. But when I feel our sweet babes dancing {sometimes fighting??} in my belly, I can't help but feel like all the "hard" things are going to be more than worth it. There truly is nothing like it, and I am just so thankful the Lord has allowed me to experience it.
So forgive my overly sappy post and the continued mention of all things babies and pregnancy. I certainly understand if you need to skip over it. It won't hurt my feelings, and we can still be friends :) But I want to remember this sweet and precious time that is a gift from the Lord. And so I wanted to record the moments He has quietly whispered, "Erin, do you see this? Don't forget this moment and all that I have done for you, all because I love you and these precious babies."
Strolling down the street with dear friends, enjoying popsicles and good conversation, remembering that I longed for the day when I could have a belly filled with life. And now waddling alongside my sweet pregnant friend, so thankful for the life the Lord has granted to both of us.
Peeing for the 10th time before lunch because baby boy is sitting on your bladder again, remembering that I could very well be in the bathroom sick with Crohn's instead. And yet the Lord has been gracious to grant a reprieve from Crohn's during this pregnancy. Such a huge blessing!
Sitting at my old desk at work, remembering the countless times that I held back tears because the pain of infertility or adoption setbacks were just too much, but I had to keep it together in the office. And now sitting in that same seat, feeling our little ones have a party in my belly.
Walking down the baby aisles, overwhelmed by all the choices, but even more overwhelmed by the fact that I have babies for which to plan and purchase. Where these aisles brought so much pain before and I often just avoided them altogether, they now fill my eyes with tears in a different way. I now relish every moment that I get to dream and imagine what our little ones will look like, what their little personalities will be, and how they will fill our family.
Having people say sweet things like, "You look so tiny!" when they obviously think I am farther along than I am. And then when I tell them I am not due until November, seeing their expression change as they realize I still have 3 whole months of belly growth to go... Or something like, "I feel like you have grown since I saw you 2 days ago." Because I most likely have. And I just can't help but giggle inside. One, because let's be honest, it's funny, and I'm going to be HUGE. But I also think to myself how blessed I am to have this growing belly and all the life it represents.
Googling {I love that we use that as a verb} weird pregnancy symptoms and all things baby, remembering that it wasn't too long ago when I was googling trying to conceive advice, infertility and adoption options. I would never allow myself to go there before, because it was just too painful. But the Lord has allowed us to be in a place where we can now research these fun things with joy-filled anticipation.
Counting down the days to our due date, remembering that it was a year ago when we were preparing for our second transfer, but not yet knowing that we would face unimaginable loss and heartbreak. It was such a dark season {after what seemed to be an already difficult road}, and yet the Lord was faithful. The Lord is faithful. He walked with us in the valley, and He is walking with us now on the mountaintop.
So what will our next {less than} 100 days look like?
- Finishing up the nursery.
- Celebrating with friends, family, and co-workers at 3 generous baby showers.
- Birthing classes, hospital tours, and car seat inspections.
- Learning how to maneuver around and do simple things with an ever-growing belly.
- Soaking up as many date nights as we can.
- Sleeping as much as possible. And then trying to sleep some more.
- Enjoying the sweetness of feeling life inside my belly.
Thank you, Jesus for Your incredible blessings. For making me stop and enjoy and remember these sweet moments. Thank You for gifting us these precious moments.
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