Encouragement For My Weary Heart

I shared a few days ago the struggle that I am having with my job. I have somehow hit a wall and am just not enjoying what I am doing. Don't get me wrong- I have a good job; I just think the reality of my circumstances hit me and I didn't really like what I saw. Again, I am not looking to leave anytime soon; I am just trying to sift through what parts of my heart are my own sinful discontent with circumstances and what parts are the Lord's work and teaching in my life.

This past week was particularly  difficult, mainly because I have been studying...which is the absolute last thing I want to be doing right now haha. And yet, the Lord has been gracious and good, providing peace and just the right amount of strength and encouragement. Some of the pressure I have felt in my job performance was eliminated today, of which I am so grateful. I think in a lot of ways I have felt somewhat indebted to my company this past year. They, after all, took a chance on me (in the middle of a hiring freeze) when no one else would. From the beginning, they have wanted to help train me in pretty much any area of my choosing. You just don't find that many places. While there are still expectations I have to meet, I was encouraged today to find out that much of the pressure I was feeling could be lifted.

My boss wants to support me in this job in any way he can, but he also understands if I don't really want/plan to make this a lifelong career. Either way, it's not going to matter and he is going to make it work for me. I have the added bonus that my boss is a believer, so he understands the struggle of finding the balance between doing well in the job God places you and following the Lord's leading in your life. He understands that my job is not the core of who I am and what I value. He is able to offer an extra measure of patience with me while I try to figure things out. I cannot tell you the encouragement that is to my heart!

So what now? Not a clue :) I don't know if the Lord is even leading me to anything else at this point. But with some of the pressure gone, I have the freedom and time to figure it out. I was reminded this morning that God placed me here for this time in my life- and He hasn't forgotten about me. He didn't just drop me here and leave; I am here for a reason. I may not always understand it, but I was reminded that He is still working and still has good things planned for me. I was encouraged that His purposes for me are not hinged on my career or even on my enjoyment of a job...which I knew, but somehow had lost sight of. I have to be willing to serve Him wherever I am, willing to be used in any way He sees fit...even if it doesn't look like I think it should.