A Weekend in the Big City

This weekend I had the opportunity to head to Dallas and network for a job. I got offered the chance to meet with a global consulting firm and to attend their women’s networking forum. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I walked away with a new sense of adventure, an excitement for life after graduation, a renewed desire to travel, and a new-found love for the big city. I absolutely fell in love with the company, what it stood for, what it promoted...I also fell absolutely head-over-heels in love with Dallas. Haha. Sounds weird, I know. But I have concluded that I am definitely a big-city girl. Waco has been cramping my style.

As I sat and listened to everything they had to say, a number of thoughts and emotions ran through me. Am I really cut out for this line of work? Do I have what it takes to succeed? Would I really enjoy living in countless cities across the US and possibly the world? Is this a coincidence that I am sitting here listening to all of this? Is God trying to tell me something? Am I basing all of my decisions on “what ifs” and if so, should I stop? Would I even know what the heck I am doing? Would I be a fish out of water? How can this be an opportunity for me to utilize my business skills for God’s glory? Is this all too good to be true? What about my internship at Pendley, how does that play into all of this? And they went on and on….

I don’t have many answers to these questions, but I walked away from this weekend with all kinds of random thoughts...

• The closer and closer I get to graduation, the more and more confused and lost I am about what I am supposed to do with my life.
• The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t know anything- lol. I have so much to learn about everything.
• I need to stop focusing on the “what ifs” that I keep waiting for…I need to live in the right now. When else in my life will I be able to accommodate the life of a traveling career women? Never. So why not take advantage of the opportunity now?
• I don’t think I was sitting in that forum on accident. God chose me to go and I believe there was a specific reason for that. It could be that this is the job I have been praying for; or it could be that He wants me to be constantly on my knees regarding this career/job decision.
• I have recently been feeling very inadequate and out of place in a lot of what I am doing. This is not a normal feeling for me. I have always been confident in my abilities, focused on my goals, and able to achieve what I set out to accomplish. But lately, I just feel so lost. I think part of that is God’s way of keeping me humble and reminding me that what I think I know, I really don’t. Haha. I think part of it is that God wants me to rely completely on Him, and not a bit on my own achievements or abilities.
• Something else I thought about this weekend that was somewhat related to the forum, but not really...I have concluded that God can best use me to glorify Himself and advance His kingdom being single. This may not sound very profound...but to me, it is a sweet revelation from God. All this time, I have been praying, begging ,God to provide that relationship that I desire so much. And all this time, He has been trying to tell me that I am best used right now on my own. He has assured me that someday, when the timing is right, it will be my time and God will provide that loving relationship so that He can be even further glorified through the two of us. But until then, I need to be content and surrendered to the fact that I am best able to glorify Him in my present circumstances. He wouldn't have me here otherwise. Hmmm...go figure. Sometimes I am so slow at learning these things...

So about this particular job? I see it as an exciting opportunity; something I hadn’t really thought about before, but something that would allow me to travel, allow me to live in different cities, allow me use my business skills, allow me to pay off my student loans , allow me to be independent and on my own, yet completely and utterly dependent on Him…so unless some doors get slammed in my face, I say…why not? I think I am going to jump into this thing, take the plunge, put myself out there. It would definitely stretch me in ways I wouldn’t normally not trust myself to be stretched.

The rest of the weekend I was able to spend hanging out with April, which was so great. I have missed her so much. We still keep in touch, but it's hard now that she has graduated and moved away. So this weekend meant a lot. It made me so grateful for the sweet friendship that God provided in her. We spent some good hang out time together... gallavanting around Dallas, reading and sipping lattes in trendy coffee shops (lol), walking the trail in search of hot boys, shopping at Mockingbird station, being attacked by her psychotic cat Ezra...it was a great weekend, and I am so glad that I had the chance to be with her.

God also definitely used this weekend to show me that He is taking care of me. He knows where I will be in May. He already has a job lined up for me. He only has the best waiting for me, and I just need to rest in Him until He chooses to reveal that plan.

Currently Reading: The Big Sister's Guide to the World of Work: The Inside Rules Every Working Girl Must Know, by Marcelle Langan DiFalco and Jocelyn Greenky Herz