12 Years

Today we celebrate 12 years of marriage! It's hard to believe that we have been married for that long. Time flies ;)

As I have been reflecting on the last 12 years and all that the Lord has done for us, I am overwhelmed with His goodness to our family. When Mike and I started dating, and then got engaged, and were looking forward to starting our lives together, I had a different idea of what our lives would look like. We had our plans and hopes for marriage and ministry and family...and our lives look very different from what I thought. And yet, my heart is overflowing with love and gratitude for the story the Lord has woven for us. Despite it looking different than what we originally planned, God has been incredibly faithful and kind. I'm still married to my best friend, we still have 3 beautiful kiddos, and we still get to love and serve together in ministry. God is so good!

This photo has sat on my nightstand our entire married life. We went to a Dallas Mavericks game while we were dating, and Mike told me I should wear his Mavs jersey, since we were there to see the Mavs...and because I was smitten with him, I agreed. Did I abandon my beloved Spurs? Of course not! The Spurs will always be better ;) But because I was falling in love with this man, I was willing to wear the Mavs jersey. It was fun and important to him. I now {sort of} love the Mavs, because he loves the Mavs. 

I know it's a little silly, but I often think about that date, and how it was so easy to don the Mavs jersey in those early days because I was so starry-eyed in love haha. But now 12 years into marriage, I don't have quite the same doe eyes and admiration. Not because I don't love {or admire} him; I do, very much. But the girl who was dating Mike all those years ago was inexperienced about the hardships and work that would lie ahead in marriage. I had no idea how much marriage would reveal the selfishness in my own heart, and how I would have to actively choose love every day. I knew it intellectually; we had godly marriage mentors. But practically? That has often been more of a challenge than I could have anticipated. Because love is not just a giddy, smitten feeling {as fun as that feels sometimes}. 

Some days I do have stars in my eyes; he's super sexy, is an amazing husband and father, and I now have the benefit of walking through all the hardships with him, knowing he meant every part of his vows. He has seen me at my absolute worst....and still chooses to love me and stick with me. But some days we have selfishly chosen to hurt each other, or the busyness of life and kids and ministry causes us to drift apart, and it can be hard to know or remember who we are as couple. And I am reminded that a good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of really hard work, commitment, effort, failing and trying again, sacrifice, and humility.

More than just a fun memory of when we were dating, this photo is a daily reminder to me to pour into our marriage. To always be learning to love the things he loves, because I love him and want to be a part of what's important in his world. I want us to have fun and like hanging out with each other as friends, to be a couple on our own, aside from kids and ministry. It's a reminder to me to actively find ways to love and support and encourage him. I can get so focused on what I need to get done in my day, be consumed by the kids and work. I know he's an adult and can take care of himself {and he does}, but I need to be looking for ways to pour into him, fill his tank, and remind him that I'm on his team. And sometimes, yes, I need to put aside my own preferences to love and honor him. 

The photo is a reminder to me of who we were all those years ago, how far we have come and who we are now, and it makes me excited about what lies ahead for us. Because there's no one else I'd rather have by my side, no one else I'd rather tackle the craziness of life with. 

Happy Anniversary, Babe! ;)