Listen Up! Even If

Today I'd like to talk about a harsh reality that many couples face regarding infertility.

The reality I'm talking about is having to face a life without children. Many couples who struggle with infertility do go on to become parents, either through a miracle, through medical treatment, or through foster care or adoption. But there are some who don't. And as you walk through your journey, you never know if that's going to be you. 

We constantly had to lay our hopes and dreams of a family before Jesus. And it was the biggest test of my faith. Could I really be ok if the Lord closed the door to Embryo Adoption? Could I still love and wholeheartedly follow Jesus if He chose not to give me a family? That seems extreme, but when you are faced with the loss of something that has become so important and desirous to you {read: an idol}, it's a reality I had to work through with the Lord. Could I really praise Him in ALL circumstances?

I'm on the other side, and I am holding babies in my arms. While our path to grow our family is far from traditional and not at all how we planned, the Lord allowed me to experience pregnancy, and I have 2 beautiful babies that made me a mom. So it's easy for me to say now that I could absolutely be ok with the Lord shutting all the doors to a family. At the time, I was trying so hard to get there, and I believe the Lord brought me to a place where I was able to surrender to Him. But it was such a struggle in my heart. And it's something I have to always be willing to do.

I didn't have this song during my journey, but a friend shared it with me the other day, and I thought it was perfect, and aptly named "Even If." She is currently walking a similar path to ours {infertility, Embryo Adoption, loss}, but is still waiting for her take home baby. And her faith is such an inspiration to me. I pray that it is an encouragement to your heart today, whether you are trying to wrestle with surrendering your dreams of a family or something else to the Lord.

They say sometimes you win some

Sometimes you lose some

And right now, right now I'm losing bad

I've stood on this stage night after night

Reminding the broken it'll be alright

But right now, oh right now I just can't

It's easy to sing

When there's nothing to bring me down

But what will I say 

When I'm held to the flame

Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith

To move a mountain

Well good thing

A little faith is all I have, right now

But God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Oh give me strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You'd just say the word

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

You've been faithful, You've been good

All of my days

Jesus, I will cling to You

Come what may

'Cause I know You're able

I know You can

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your might hand

But even if You don't 

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, I know the hurt

Would all go away if You'd say the word

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul