1 in 4

Earlier this year, I shared that we are 1 in 8 couples that knows the painful challenges of infertility. We have walked this difficult journey for over 3 years now, and we have had to surrender our grief to the Lord on a daily basis.

It is with heavy hearts that we now share that this year we also joined the ranks of the 1 in 4 parents whose pregnancies have ended in miscarriage.

{It's slightly frustrating that all of the photos/memes out there only reference "I." Yes, I carried our babies and experienced the physical aspects of loss, but we lost our babies. The loss for Mike was the same}.

This additional grief and heartache to our journey has been difficult. To have waited so long to see a positive pregnancy test and to experience the joy and excitement that accompanies that wonderful news only to have it change in an instant...there really aren't words for that kind of grief.

We are still processing our loss, but the Lord has been gracious. He has provided comfort and grace in the dark days, and he fills our hearts with peace and hope. We miss our babies. Not a day will go by where we don't think of them, what their little lives would have been, had we had the chance to meet them. But we know they are with Jesus, the best and safest place they can be.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I share our heartache because our babies' lives mattered. During a time in our society when their tiny lives are too often not recognized, valued, or protected, I want to share my story and affirm the truth that they were each created by God and valued in their most vulnerable and tiniest of stages. From the time of their conception, each individual LIFE was wanted, prayed for, and loved. 

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"A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is." 

- Jay Neugeboren, An Orphan's Tale - 1976